Not So Perfect
by Chibiyu
Summary: Full Summary Inside...I looked back at my not so perfect life, which was reflected in the bruises and scars that covered my arms, chest, and legs. One thought ran through my head, the thought that became the record of my life; Why me? Nick's POV
1. Prologue

**Koutai: **_So you have voted, so you shall receive. _

_**Not So Perfect**_

_**Summary: **_Once the camera's stopped rolling and the day faded to night, I looked back at my not so perfect life, which was reflected in the bruises and scars that covered my arms, chest, and legs. One thought ran through my head, the thought that became the record of my life; Why me?

_Prologue (changed a little bit) _

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

"No, as brother's, we are really close and rarely fight. We respect each other and love each other more than air." _Lies flew from Joe's mouth as again, he answered the question of our relationship as brothers. _

…_._

_Another day of living a lie. The fame and fans were real enough, but my brothers were fake, the emotions directed towards me were fake, and I started believing my existence was fake. The camera's stopped rolling and day turned to night and I dreaded facing my brothers. _

_I was stuck again in writer's block, my mind spitting out nothing but useless words of pain that could never make a good song. That was all I was needed for in this band, songs, and I failed at that as well. My brothers footsteps echoed up the stairs and dread set upon my heart and my healing bruises throbbed. _

"So, loser, where's our song?" _Joe sneered at me, and again I questioned; Why me? He leaned over my shoulder and starred, no glared, at the empty piece of paper in front of me and sighed._

"Ya know what this means oh worthless brother of mine?" _He stated, cracking his knuckles. I tried to swallow but the action wouldn't come. I couldn't move either because Joe was holding me down. I closed me eyes and felt his fist make contact with my left cheek as Kevin laughed coldly. Why me?_

* * *

**Koutai: **_Stella and Macy come in next chapter along with Frankie and their parents. Hope you like this story. _


	2. Silent Heartbreak

**Koutai: **_Ah, the sweet inspiration of a new story. This chapter is boring cause I had to get a few things out of the way, but I promise next chapter will be sooooooo much better!_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!!_

* * *

"**So, loser, where's our song?" **_**Joe sneered at me, and again I questioned; Why me? He leaned over my shoulder and starred, no glared, at the empty piece of paper in front of me and sighed.**_

"**Ya know what this means oh worthless brother of mine?" **_**He stated, cracking his knuckles. I tried to swallow but the action wouldn't come. I couldn't move either because Joe was holding me down. I closed me eyes and felt his fist make contact with my left cheek as Kevin laughed coldly. Why me?**_

* * *

_**NICK'S POV**_

_Sometimes I questioned why I even bothered to drag myself out of bed, to face another day of lies and pain. There was no hope for things to get better in my life; no matter what I did, Joe and Kevin would cause it to backfire. If I told my mom and dad, they would make sure that would be the last thing I ever did, they even told me that with the kitchen knife at my throat. If I tried to run, they would find me; Nick Lucas doesn't go out without being recognized by someone. If I tried to change…well…I don't really know about that, how does a useless loser change?_

_I got up at 5, the only one up. I loved the mornings for the single reason that I was alone, in a moment of bliss silence. When I got to the bathroom, I inspected my arms, legs, stomach and face. _

Not as bad as last week. _I dryly thought, looking at the discoloration that covered almost my whole body. Yellowish and healing bruises were visible and my face was unharmed. They never hurt me where people could see, letting their lies prosper. I looked farther up and winced as I looked into my unhealthy looking pale skin, limp curls and my too thin torso. My eyes scared me though. When did they ever look so dead and dim, when did their life and light leave? _

_Overall, I never saw a more sad sight than my own reflection. _

_I got ready for school, with a small hope that maybe, somehow, today would be better…yeah right. _

…_.._

_We got to school, Joe driving all of us to keep up the charade of being a good brother for our parents. I was the first one out of the car, and the first one in the school. Stella and Macy walked up, Stella ignoring me like I was part of the wall and faithful Macy giving me a small smile and wink before Stella caught her in some dumb fashion conversation. She rolled her eyes at me before leaving me to my own silence. _

_School dragged on. I had no friends to speak of, thanks to my brothers, who, as rumor has it, threatened everyone not to talk or even approach me. Only Macy was brave enough to show little acts of kindness daily and I considered her my best friend for that._

_Joe, Kevin and Stella walked past me, not glancing once in my direction, laughing mockingly and I_ _had the sinking suspicion that the joke was centered around me. _

_I did not know which was harder to live with, the abuse or the silence. I could take the physical pain, but the mental one they forced onto me by my solitude was harder for me to handle. My heart ached as I wished I knew the reason for their treatment of me. I knew that in their eyes, I was a pathetic loser whose only reason to live was to write songs. Sometimes, I wished I didn't have the songs, other times I actually believed that I was a pathetic loser. Three points shy of a genius, but a loser. _

_Macy sat next to me in my last hour Calculus. We were the only juniors in the class of seniors, so it was only natural that we sat together. I liked this class; it was what I lived for in school. All thanks to Macy. But today, she did not smile at me. Her hair covered her face and I heard her sniff. _

"Nick, I can't do this anymore. I can't be your friend." _She said, finally looking at me, her voice broken. Her big brown eyes were filled with tears and she winced as she set her left arm on the desk. _

_They got to her and took her away from me, just like everything else in my life. My silent heart felt more pain than ever at this, and it tore into even more pieces as I forced my own sadness back and out of my face and I forced Macy from my mind. _

_Why me?_

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

It was after another great school day. Kevin and I finally stopped Macy and we drove off without Nick, again. Our parents weren't home and wouldn't be until late tonight, so let the fun begin.

"Did you see his face when we ditched him? I think I almost ran over his foot!" I laughed, shamelessly, my lungs screaming for much needed air.

Kevin chuckled. "And when you went through that puddle and soaked him? Hilarious!" I

laughed again and fell to the floor. Kevin started making an exaggerated imitation of Nick's face, all surprised and sad and dead.

"St-stop it! It h-hurts!" I said clutching my ribs, Kevin joining me in laughing hysterically.

Tears of happiness filled my eyes as the door opened and closed. I glanced to see a sopping wet Nick, who walked passed us without glancing at us, but I saw the hurt in his eyes. I laughed again, only harder and Kevin joined in again. My heart soared with joy and my ribs ached from it, but I couldn't stop laughing. My worthless brother was just too fun to pick on for me to care.

As soon as my breathing was controlled, I walked upstairs, Kevin following me, and made my way towards Nick, who sat on his bed again, guitar in hand. He looked up, his eyes not holding any emotion, before he looked down and ignored us. I sat down across from him and Kevin did the same.

We just watched him strum a few notes, write down a lyric, cross it out and sigh angrily.

"Writers block?" Kevin asked genuine curiosity in his voice. Nick's eyes flickered towards him, unsure whether to answer or not.

"Here," Kevin said, picking up his own guitar, "I'll help you."

Nick's eyes could not have been more questioning. It looked like he was worried about Kevin's health or something. It was kind of funny. I smirked and got up, stretching and grabbed my tambourine before sitting down again.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ Now I was confused. Why did my brother suddenly care enough to help me, or even talk to me without the words useless, loser or worthless attached to it? I looked into Kevin's soft eyes and Joe's caring ones. They were sick, they had to be…or lying. I mean, me having writers block was practically the perfect excuse for them to torment me, not to help me. What was wrong with them? Were they really being nice…not likely…so lying?_

_Was that it? Were they being nice to me to set me up for a new joke/torture? I supposed I should have been angry, irritated, or something, but all I felt was a numbing coldness in the dark abyss of my mind and the silent beats of my broken heart. Somewhere along the road of my brother's idea of fun, my heart had died, leaving me as an empty shell of a human being. A puppet, a toy…a worthless addition to the world's population. _

"Nick? Are we going to write a song or sit in silence all day?"

* * *

**Koutai:**_ Like I said, I had to get stuff out of the way. I lied…parents come in next chapter. Next chapter…I look forward to writing that….*evil laugh*….ahem….reviews are love and Nick needs love right now. _


	3. Fallen Petals

**Koutai: **_My last chapter caused confusion with the behavior of Joe and Kevin…good! It was supposed too! Thanks for all the reviews!_

* * *

_**Nick's POV**_

_**Was that it? Were they being nice to me to set me up for a new joke/torture? I supposed I should have been angry, irritated, or something, but all I felt was a numbing coldness in the dark abyss of my mind and the silent beats of my broken heart. Somewhere along the road of my brother's idea of fun, my heart had died, leaving me as an empty shell of a human being. A puppet, a toy…a worthless addition to the world's population. **_

"**Nick? Are we going to write a song or sit in silence all day?"**

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

The confusion behind Nick's eyes was almost too much to take. All through the three songs we wrote together, he kept glancing at Joe and I like we were mentally unstable. His face was almost as funny when Joe soaked him in puddle water.

"Boys, we are home!" Our mom, Sandy, announced as she walked upstairs. She smiled at the image, three "loving" brothers all writing a song together. Our dad ran up.

"Are those three songs done yet Nicholas?" His voice was stressed and worried. I held up the pieces of paper with the songs on them and he smiled and clapped his hand. I watched Nick's confusion that was in his eyes turn to realization. He didn't actually think we would care enough to help him if the record wasn't on the line, did he?

"We will record tomorrow then!" Our dad said happily, running downstairs, already on the phone.

Our mom walked over and engulfed us each in a hug. "Oh, I am so lucky to have three loving and amazing boys." When she hugged me, I glanced at Nick and I thought I saw Joe flash him to bird. Our mom walked downstairs, oblivious to all that occurred when her back was turned.

I walked over to the TV and turned it on, forgetting about my little brother. Joe followed me and Nick's phone vibrated. Joe glanced at him, question who it was.

"Reminder." Was all Nick said as he pulled a book from his shelves, faced us and started reading.

The news blared an urgent report. A blond reporter in too much makeup spoke from behind the desk.

"Attention all. Do not leave your house at night. There is a new gang out there who have evaded police multiple times. They call themselves 'The Fallen' and they are extremely dangerous. The last victims of the four member's fights were hospitalized for four days. How long will this last? We don't know that yet, but it is heavily advised everyone remains indoors after sunset. That is all for tonight!"

I looked up at Nick would had his jacket on, his phone still in hand. "Just where do you think your going?"

"Out" he simply replied. Joe grabbed his shoulder.

"Fine, but take a goodbye gift." He punched Nick in the stomach and Nick doubled over, pain on his face as he gasped for breath. Joe walked away, uncaring and I gave him a high five as Nick walked out the door.

* * *

_NICK'S POV NEXT DAY _

_ On one hand, I was thankful it was Saturday, on the other, a whole day spent, alone, with my brothers. Let the torture begin. _

_Joe and Kevin were sitting on Joe's bed when I walked from the bathroom, and they ignored me completely when I walked passed them. But when I reached for my Omni Pod, they both started laughing hysterically. Suspicion took hold of my actions and I carefully checked my surroundings for any of their 'clever' ideas of traps. Nothing. Their laugher increased with volume and I narrowed my eyes, wondering what they could have done. I checked my Omni Pod and found it empty, and the backup was empty aw well. So that was it. I shook my head, letting none of my anger that raged in the dead pit of my soul show in my face as I gave my an insulin shot. My brother's laughed themselves until they cried and Stella soon came over._

_She walked right pass me, and threw my outfits on my bed and carefully hung Joe and Kevin's up and then kissed Joe. I hung mine up, noticing the long sleeves. Stella was the only person alive, other than Joe, Kevin and I, that knew of Joe and Kevin's actions towards me. Sometimes, she laughed at Joe's recounts, other times she paled in fright. I did not know what to think of Stella Malone. _

_Joe whispered something to her and Stella shook her head, but Joe smiled and got up anyway, motioning towards Kevin to do the same. My heart starting pounding against my rib cage as they advanced, but I let none of the fear I felt take over my heart show in my face and I did not back down. _

_Stella bit her lip, shooting glances between Joe and me her eyes full of uncertainty and worry. Now that I think of it, this was the first time Stella ever openly looked at me, without a measuring tape or scissors in her skillful hands. Kevin cracked his knuckles and Joe flexed his fingers. _

"Stella is bored so let us show her a good show. There will be pain and fear and possibly crying." _Joe sneered. Stella opened her mouth, but bit her tongue, afraid to speak her mind. _

_Kevin responded by laughing coldly, sending shivers down the base of my spine. I squared myself, ready to try and defend. But Joe and Kevin were smarter; Kevin grabbed my hands and forced them behind my back, holding me in place. Joe advanced still, ready to pounce. _

_My breath deepened as I tried to get as much air into my lungs as possible before the hits came. Joe punched me hard in the stomach and I felt my face screw up in pain and my eyes watered from it. But I did not let the rebel tears spill over. I would not show weakness. Not now. He punched me again in the same spot, causing me to cough violently as I felt the rest of my air get knocked from my lungs and if it weren't for Kevin holding me, I would have fallen to my knees from the pain and dizziness. _

_Joe punched me there one more time and it felt like a truck had run into me. I forced myself to meet Joe's eyes which were filled with sick and cruel happiness from my pain. I never wanted to die more from the pain my heart held and from the cold feeling of loneliness than I did now. _Why me? What did my brother's hate me? Was I so unloved by God himself that he chose to put me in the one family that would forever hate and abuse me? Why me?

_Joe's leg connected with my leg, only this time, Kevin let me fall to the ground and they both started mercilessly kicking me in places that were not visible to the naked eye. Pain so intense, worse then a thousand wildfires, danced beneath my skin and erupted in bursts as I was beaten. Bu the physical pain was a pin prick compared to the pain I felt in my heart. I never want to die more than I did right now; I never experienced this level of loneliness and pain and it was turning out to be too much for my pour mind to handle. I just can't do this anymore!_

"Stop it!" _Stella's terrified voice rang clear and loudly. To my surprise and happiness they stopped, though the pain stayed. _

"I can't do this anymore Joe! I can't take it! How can you hut your little brother like that? It is cruel and heartless and until you stop, I can't date you!" _She screamed into the silence. If I could move without the pain being to intense, I would have hugged her. I heard hr slam the door and Joe ran after her, Kevin just left me in a broken heap in the floor._

_Despite the pain, I pulled myself up and into the bathroom, locking the door to avoid Joe's rage, which would come and be aimed towards me. I sat on the toilet lid and let some tears flow. Suddenly, the towel rack fell to the ground with a muted thud and out came a nail, shiny and silver. I picked it up, just in case anyone would step on it and starred at it, an idea forming in my mind. _

No Nicholas, don't do it. There are other ways to release the pain. _But my hand didn't obey my thoughts. I watched, as if from another person's point of view, as my hand pressed the nail into my exposed forearm, not to deep and pulled, creating a thin cut. I watched the blood form into a bubble, waiting for it to burst, and when it did, I felt awesome. Better than I ever did when I cried. I can't really describe it, but somehow the physical pain made the mental one lesson and become bearable. I wiped the blood from my arm and pocketed the nail. I, Nick Lucas, was now a cutter because of my brothers…who would have thought?_

_I pushed open the bathroom window and climbed out of it and down the storm drain, like I have done so many times before. I avoided my ever loving and slightly creepy and freakishly accurate fans by going out the back way and running behind a few trees. Five minutes later, I got to my destination, the park._

_I sat down on one of the benches, facing the wilting flowers. In a way, those flowers and I were a lot alike. They were wilting and dying, petals falling from them, and no one cared or noticed that they were near dead and falling apart. Just like me. _

_Song lyrics came to me as I thought of the love my dark abyss of a heart craved and as the loneliness set back in, but not nearly as intense as before. I found myself singing softly, a song I wrote awhile back, a song that Joe and Kevin would never hear. _

"I want someone to love me  
For who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
But it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am"

_I put my head in my hands and let my tears fall. A tentative hand came to rest on my shoulder and a soft voice reached my ears. _

"I will always love and need you Nick. You are my best friends and I accept who you are. Your brothers will not stop me, not even by beating me to the ground."

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**Koutai: **_Don't yell at me about the cutting part. That part/this story is really dedicated to a friend who suffers similar pains to Nick. She doesn't cut and is not abused, but she has thought about cutting and this story is showing her that her life can be worse. But even the bad eventually turns to good. Oh, and next chapter will be eons better in my opinion, the story will start to pick up by then. Until next update!_


	4. A Raven's Cry

**Koutai: **_For those asking me how I could be so evil, it is easy and kinda fun. For those begging for a happy ending…I have no idea what those to words mean when together in that way. Lol._

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!!_

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_**NICK'S POV**_

"**I want someone to love me  
For who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
But it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am"**

_**I put my head in my hands and let my tears fall. A tentative hand came to rest on my shoulder and a soft voice reached my ears. **_

"**I will always love and need you Nick. You are my best friends and I accept who you are. Your brothers will not stop me, not even by beating me to the ground."**

* * *

_MACY'S POV_

I was meaning to call Nick, but I thought about how much trouble that could get him in, and I opted out texting as well. I did not want to be the one that caused his brothers to get angry. So, I took a walk in the park, trying to figure out what to do when I heard his angelic and broken singing voice. He sang a song I secretly watched him write, and it broke my heart just as badly as it did then when I realized why he was singing it.

I walked up to him and sat next to him, hesitantly putting my hand on his shaking shoulder. "I will always love and need you Nick. You are my best friends and I accept who you are. Your brothers will not stop me, not even by beating me to the ground."

He looked up at me, his brown eyes still wet but full of gratefulness and thanks. I hugged him, without fainting, and I felt his arms come loosely around me, like he was unsure what to do. I hated Joe and Kevin with all of my heart for doing this to their own brother and next time I saw them, I would 'accidently' hit them with my hockey stick in a place that would make them sing an octave higher. No one hurts Macy Misa's friends and gets away with it!

"Thanks Mace." He whisper pulling back and looking me directly in the eye. "What did they do to you at school?"

I looked away and rubbed my hurt arm and I felt Nick's gentle touch around my wrist. He pulled my shirt sleeve up and I barley held down a wince. I chanced a glance to him and saw his eyes were filled with rage and he was pale with anger. I looked down at my arm and saw the closed and long cut that ran from my wrist to my elbow. I saw Joe and Kevin walking up to me in my mind's eye, a knife in Kevin's hand and Joe pushing me against the wall, threatening me to stay away from his brother.

"It's nothing. I bet you have worse." I said, pulling my arm away. Nick averted his gaze to the dying flowers across from us, pulling down both of his sleeves. Suddenly, I had to know what his so called brothers were doing to him.

"Can I see?" I asked quietly, unsure how Nick would react. He had come most of his life without anyone caring about him, or even looking hard enough at him to see the dead and tortured soul behind his brown eyes. I did not know how my caring would affect him. Eventually he nodded and pushed back one sleeve, showing his arm to me without looking at me.

I gasped quietly. His whole arm was covered in purple, yellow and blue bruise with the occasional scar running across it. There was less than an inch of normal skin coloring on his poor pale arm and I found the anger and worry grow in my heart as I thought that this damage could be all over Nick's body, hidden by the clothes Stella designed.

I gently traced a long scar that encircled his arm before I pulled down his sleeve, nauseated by what I had just seen. It was almost unreal, and yet, my best friend suffered from it.

"Nick, I'm so sorry. If I knew it was this bad I would have told someone, done something! Why didn't you do anything about it?"

He clasped his hands, looking uncomfortable with the question. "Because, as horrible as my life is, I love to live."

I sat, letting the hidden meaning of his word sink in. _Wait, Joe and Kevin threatened to kill him if he did something about it? Those two better rot in heck when I am done with them! _

"So, why are you here Nick?" I asked, meaning why he sat in the park, and not why he still lived with Joe and Kevin. I refuse to call them his brothers after I saw what they did to Nick, what they are doing to him.

He sighed, his voice controlled though his eyes held a storm of mixed emotions; confusion and sadness being the main two. "Stella broke up with Joe when they had her watch what they do to me. I have no want to be home when Joe is angry. That is how I got the scar that encircled my arm. Joe had an Exacto knife and Kevin had to pull him off of me to stop him from killing me."

I watched him look to the sky, tears falling now from both of our eyes. How could one so nice and gentle and sensitive be so abused and broken by his own family? My phone rang, Stella was calling. Nick nodded to me, as if to tell me to answer it, so I did, walking a few feet away, turning my back.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I watched Macy talk to Stella but averted my gaze when another girl walked pass her and sat next to me, tying her shoe. Her long raven black hair covered her pale face. She was dressed simply, black skinny jeans and a red and black striped shirt with a long and golden skull necklace. She looked up at me, her silver eyes shining with knowledge and dark experiences._

"I'm Raven. I overheard you both and saw everything." _She pulled off her gold jacket and exposed her own scarred arm and bruises. _"If you need somewhere to stay and a family, just call me and I'll come. Emergencies only." _She got up, dropping a small whistle in the shape of a raven on my lap before jogging off. _

_I watched her retreating form, confused and pocketed the whistle. Why did her face seem so familiar?_

"Nick, I got to go. Stella is in hysterics and I have to calm her down. I'll talk to you later, I promise." _Her brown eyes shone with her regret for leaving me, but I just smiled at her and nodded, finally remembering why Raven's face seemed so familiar. Macy ran off and I sat, closing my eyes. _

_**Flashback**_

"_**Out" I simply replied. Joe grabbed my shoulder.**_

"_**Fine, but take a goodbye gift." He punched me in the stomach and I doubled over, pain on my face as I gasped for breath. Joe walked away, uncaring and Kevin gave him a high five as I walked out the door. **_

_**I loved taking night time walks. And this time, maybe that gang would find me and end my miserable existence of a life. But as I thought about it more, I realized even though my life is crap, I do not want to die. I want to make my own future without Joe and Kevin messing up my life, and maybe, laugh about my success in their faces when I am gone. **_

_**I turned to the park and I saw the silhouette of a girl with long hair sitting in a tree with a walkie talkie in her pale hand. Her eyes shone brightly but her face was blocked by a black mask that had feathers attached to the side. **_

_**Fear clenched around my heart as I sank into the shadows, realizing this girl was a part of that gang called The Fallen. But it didn't work. Her head turned towards me and she flashed me a brilliant smile and winked before jumping down from the tree, putting her fingers to her lips, and then running away. **_

_**End**_

_There was no doubt in my mind that Raven was that girl from last night. But I did not know whether to be afraid of her because of her gang, or to be grateful to her for helping me. But would this whistle really help, or would it lead me into a trap?_

_I shook my head in confusion and slowly made my way back home, for it had started to rain and I had no intentions of catching a cold. _

_I pushed opened the door to the firehouse and all was quiet. For a moment, I hoped that Joe was out, or asleep, or over his anger. But no, as soon as I walked into the kitchen, he was sitting on the counter, murder in his eyes and his hands shook. In them, was the same knife that he used to carve a pretty swirl on my arm. _

"This time Nicholas, Kevin isn't home to save you. It is just you and me. You will pay for what you did to Stella!" _His voice shook with unstable rage and heartbreak. I snapped, not caring for my safety right now. I finally let out all of my 17 years of bottled up anger at this boy I had enough heart to still call my brother. _

"So it is my fault you started hitting me? My fault that you made Stella watch? MY FAULT THAT YOU ARE A HEARTLESS A-HOLE AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND FINALLY SAW IT TOO?!?!" _Joe's face changed to surprise as I yelled back at him, but anger still stalked in his eyes and mine still exploded from my heart. _

_I lowered my voice but it still shook with cold fury and my own heartbreak. _"I have taken your crap all of my life Joseph and I am not about to take it again! You may have broken my body, but my mind and soul remain whole. I do not even know why I still call you a brother, because we both know you don't deserve that title."

_Joe starred at me, a look of pure shock on his face. But the shock faded back to his old anger and my rage left and was replaced with fear. I may have gone too far…_

_Joe lunged at me, knife in hand, but I moved away at the last second, causing him the stab with wall instead of my face. He tried again, and this time I wasn't so lucky. He got my shoulder and dragged it down to my elbow, but before he could push it in farther that the millimeter he already had, I pulled away, screaming slightly from the pain. _The door...

_I ran to it, knowing Joe was right behind me and threw it open, running at top speed into the pouring cold rain. Joe yelled with anger and his footsteps sounded behind me, I looked back and saw he held another knife, preparing to throw it. I ducked and it soared over my head and embedded itself in our trash can. _

_My hand hit my jacket pocket and a small lump was felt. The whistle! I pulled it out and blew, not breaking my stride as I ran in the park. It sounded high pitched, loud and clear, like a lone raven's cry. Nothing happened._

_I ran and ran, my legs pumping as I blew it again. I turned to see how far Joe was behind me, and saw he wasn't there. Then, I ran into a soft body, who threw me to the ground. _

_Joe stood over me, soaked to the bone, his eyes menacing and insane. _

"Joe, stop." _I begged, but he did not. He aimed the knife to my chest and his arm pushed down with dead accuracy. _

* * *

**Koutai: **_Yeah…Raven is based off my friend, with a few modifications of course. Don't kill me for this cliffhanger…Until next update!_


	5. Titan's Revenge

**Koutai: **_Death threats don't affect me; in fact they only make the story worse. Keep that in mind while you read this long chapter…_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS or the song Who I Am!!!!!_

* * *

_**NICK'S POV**_

_**My hand hit my jacket pocket and a small lump was felt. The whistle! I pulled it out and blew, not breaking my stride as I ran in the park. It sounded high pitched, loud and clear, like a lone raven's cry. Nothing happened.**_

_**I ran and ran, my legs pumping as I blew it again. I turned to see how far Joe was behind me, and saw he wasn't there. Then, I ran into a soft body, who threw me to the ground. **_

_**Joe stood over me, soaked to the bone, his eyes menacing and insane. **_

"**Joe, stop." **_**I begged, but he did not. He aimed the knife to my chest and his arm pushed down with dead accuracy. **_

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ Time slowed as Joe's arm came closer and closer to my heart as I counted its last beats. I looked away from my brothers' maniac face and onto the now dead flowers, once again comparing my life to them. I did not close my eyes, for I had accepted my death awhile ago, though I would have thought it to be by my own hand and not of Joe's. _

_Just before the knife pierced my chest and stabbed my heart, a figure swung over me, knocking into Joe. Joe was knocked to his feet and the knife was nowhere to be seen. I turned onto my side, looking at my savoir. Three guys surrounded Joe, not touching him, but glaring at him with enough intensity to cut diamonds. All three of them wore black masks that covered over half of their faces. I sat up and I felt a cold hand on my back. _

_I jumped and turned, to see Raven, kneeling behind me, her feathered mask securely on covering her face. Her silver eyes glinted dangerously, enraged by my brothers actions. She looked at me as if asking for permission to beat up Joe. I thought about, and found myself shaking my head. He may be an evil and deranged psychopath, but he was still my brother, and a terrible one at that. Raven sigh and snapped her fingers twice. One of the guys kicked Joe in the head, knocking him unconscious. _

_I looked, startled at Raven, though a deep satisfaction rose in my chest. Oh, revenge was sweet, but sweeter if done by your own hand. She looked at me and helped me up._

"Other than your arm, are you hurt?" _she whispered, concern heavy on her unwavering voice. I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. She nodded and the three others surrounded me, their eyes darting up and down, as if sizing me up. _

"We can do this later guys. Right now let's get him away from his insane brother."

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I awoke, cold and afraid for reasons I did not know. My head throbbed painfully and it all came back to me. My unjust anger at Nick, the gang…The Fallen...surrounding me and that girl touching Nick. Her talking to him and then him shaking his head, fear on his face and a scowl on the girls. Then one of the guys kicked me in the head as I had done to Nick so many times and I blacked out.

And now I was…where? I opened my eyes and found myself still at the park, the knife that was covered in Nick's blood by my side. I scanned the area quickly, and I found fear rising in my chest. _Where was Nick? Why do I even care? _

I though back to Nick's outburst that had set my anger level to a new high and couldn't help but think that maybe…just maybe Nick was right. But this might have been too far…No it was too far. Nick, if he was still alive, was probably terrified about me trying to kill him again. And I would have, if not for that guy knocking me down. _Why do you care Joe? It's not like Nick is worth anything. _I thought, but my nicer and soft side…a side I never shown to Nick before, attacked back at my rock hard side that was filled with resentment and hared. _He is your brother and you almost killed him! You beat him everyday and it brings you sick happiness and what does it bring Nick? Scars and bruises and a dead spirit. You are killing him slowly…in fact; I am surprised he is still alive today. _

I shook my head…ow, bad idea. I got up slowly, needing to see if Nick was home. If not, I would have to tell Kevin what I did, what I could have done.

……

I walked inside, Kevin was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, but he looked up hopefully when the door closed behind me. But the hopeful turned to disappointment and sadness and fear when he saw the knife in my hand. My heart ached, caught between two lives, one of abuse and one of caring worry. One brought me happiness, the other brought me shame. I had an idea which one I liked more, but I knew which one I should be feeling, and it was not the one I liked.

"Joe, what did you do?" Kevin asked as if afraid of the answer. His eyes filled with fear and his voice shook. "Where is Nick?"

I sat down on the counter, just starring at the knife and then to Nick's blood on the wall from when I cut him.

"I did something bad Kev. I…I was furious, heartbroken and confused about Stella and I needed to vent. Nick came in and I chose him. I grabbed this knife and he managed to dodge before I got him in the arm but he got away before I made it longer or deeper. That is why there is blood on the wall."

I started shivering from the coldness of my wet clothes and thunder boomed as lightening flashed outside. I felt tears come in my eyes, something I was not used to and something I never thought I would be shedding for Nick.

"Nick ran outside," I continued, "I chased him to the park and was…I was about to stab him in the heart! I was about to kill him Kevin!" I said, rocking back and forth, dropping the knife in the garbage, never wanting to look at it again. Kevin got up and put both of his hands on my shoulders. I looked up into his terrified gaze and my tears started falling.

"Did you?" Kevin asked his voice fearful and stressed. I shook my head.

"But I would have. A guy came out of nowhere and knocked me down and took the knife from my hand. He dropped it next to me as the rest of the gang showed up and surrounded me. A girl stood by Nick and said something to him that he didn't like and she didn't like his answer. The last thing I remember is them kicking me in the head."

Kevin looked down, his own tears forming. "So, they got Nick. The most dangerous gang around has our little brother." He sounded so broken and I exploded.

"We don't even have the right to call him our brother! Look what we did to him! We killed his spirit Kevin! We killed his heart and soul. When we were in the park and I was about to…you know…I looked into Nick's eyes for the first time in a long time. They were dead Kevin. They had no light, no sparkle. All I saw was an empty portal to Nick's broken soul. He didn't deserve any of the things we did to him. Why are we such terrible brothers?" I sobbed.

Kevin pulled me into a hug I know I didn't deserve and I cried on his shoulder. My tears were of guilt, shame and fear and they fell for Nick and because of Nick. If I could take it all back, I would. But what is done is done, and what we did eternally scarred our brother, on his arms and heart.

"You're right Joe. We are horrible brothers and excellent liars. Let us make our lies a reality. Nick didn't deserve any of this, and we don't deserve him." I untangled myself from Kevin's hold and went upstairs, and I followed him.

I went to Nick's song book, the one thing Kevin and I actually respected. I opened to a random page. On it was a song, dated a few weeks back, titled "Who I Am." The chorus of the song was circled and had a side note.

I want someone to love me  
For who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
But it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am

*I want someone, ok, mainly my brothers, to love me and accept me for who I am. What did I ever do to them to make them hate me? NEVER SHOW THIS SONG TO THEM THEY WILL KILL YOU!

I threw the notebook away from me and fell to my knees, my heart shattering into a million pieces, smaller than the size of a fleck of dust. I shook with renewed sobs and I felt Kevin's own tears and on my back.

"What have we done?" he whispered, asking no one, his voice full of pain and remorse.

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_ Stupid idiotic Lucas brothers. They lived with a gem among stones and they treated him like he was dung. I looked at Nick, who sat huddled in the abandoned barn, my gang around him, talking softly to him. I saw how empty Nick's eyes looked, how dead his soul seemed and how broken his heart was. I would personally see to a brutal revenge of those two piles of crap. I walked over to them and they stopped talking, looking up at me, all of their eyes shining with respect. _

"Ok Nicholas, you need three things before it is safe for you again. A new look, name and attitude. Are you ready?" _I asked, looking directly into Nick's empty eyes. Something flickered through his eyes, briefly bringing light, and he nodded. _

_I smiled slightly and asked him a calm voice that contrasted the angry fire in my heart. _"What is it your heart desires most?"

_He looked at me, thoughtfulness in his eyes. _"Truthfully, I do not know what my heart desires. I am torn between two lives right now, and my heart is as confused as my head."

_The three guys, my family, nodded approvingly at his words. I nodded as well. _

"Good answer. Are you serious about this though Nick? Once it is done, it may be impossible to turn back." _I meant it too. This gang all pledged to be together until death drives us apart. _

_Nick looked at me, his brown orbs full of certainty. He nodded. I nodded. I then pulled out a pair of scissors and told him he needed a haircut, a mask, and a new identity. He didn't show any disproval throughout the whole time. _

_The three guys around us gasped in shock as Nick removed his blood stained shirt. I couldn't help but wince at the damage. His whole torso was covered in multicolored bruises and long puckered scars ran all across. I bit my lip and forced my gaze away as I cleaned and bandaged is arm where Joseph cut him. He did not wince at my touch, and that angered me even more because that lack of action told me he was used to the sting of antibacterial spray, and that he suffered too much pain to care about its petty sting. _

"I think I know what I want now_." Nick stated, putting on his mask and the gangs uniform. _"Revenge."

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I woke up, cursing myself for falling asleep. Kevin was already up and at the computer, researching The Fallen. I was at his shoulder in an instant, reading with him. He went to the news site and a clip titled The Fallen Rise popped up. Kevin clicked on it.

"_Hello. This is an urgent news report. Late last night The Fallen have been very active. A man was found in an alley way, barley alive and tied to a flagpole by his wrists. The image you are about to see may disturb younger children and it is advised that they leave the room."_

The image flashed to a shirtless man, hanging by his wrists and he was turned so his back faced the camera. Cut onto his back were words.

_**The ones who abuse are victims of a Titan's Revenge. **_

"_This disturbing message was carved into the back of a young male, Van Dyke Tosh, a student and reported bully and jock of Horris Mantis High. Similar, but less threatening beatings have been found all over the city and they are all connected by the school. An eye witness, Macy Misa, reported five silhouettes of mask wearing people. Two of them were armed with knives. Four of them had black masks and one had a white mask. Where did the fifth member come from and where will this group strike next? Stay tuned for more information and click on the link below for safety ideas from our sponsor." _

Kevin and I starred at the computer screen, not believing what we saw.

"There was only four when they took Nick…you don't think…"Kevin asked quietly.

I shook my head frantically. "Nick would never. I know that much about him." At least, I hope I do.

Kevin sighed and nodded, saying I was right. Kevin was about to close the page when a new video appeared above the one we just watched. He clicked it.

"_Miss Misa was able to draw a picture of the five Fallen. If you see any people that resemble them, do not approach but call the police immediately."_

_A picture that was skillfully sketched appeared. All that we could see of the figures were their torsos, because their faces were covered by masks. There were what looked like one girl and four boys. The girl had long hair going down just past her shoulders. One guys hair was straight and went just past his eyes, two were curly, and the last one was short and spiked. The girl's mask was simple, covering her eyes and had feathers coming from the side. The boy's masks all covered their eyes and different parts of their faces. The white one covered the teens' eyes and went over his cheeks forming point level to the end of his nose. The three other guy's had mask were all different as well. One of the covered half of his face, another covered all but his mouth and nose, and the last one spiked up and down his face and over his straight hair. _

I starred at all of them and let out a breath with relief. It was obvious that none of those boys were Nick.

"If they aren't Nick, then where is he?" I asked fear coming heavily into my voice. Kevin shook his head and got up, leaving a note to our parents that we would be at a friends' house and Nick was coming home from his sleepover a bit later.

We then walked out the door and searched everywhere for Nick, coming up empty handed every time. I did not know whether to be relived or terrified that we did not find his broken body anywhere. Night fell faster than Kevin and I anticipated and we started making our way home, trying to figure out how we would tell mom and dad everything without having them put us in jail.

A stick broke behind us and we both jumped, spinning around. But nothing was on the empty sidewalk. We started moving again, paranoia rising in my chest and increasing my fear, causing my heart to thunder against my chest and speed up my breathing.

Another snap, but of a finger this time and Kevin and I spun around to see two figures dart in the shadows. We walked backwards, watching them creep silently after us. We turned around as an alley met our side and saw two more black clad figures blocking our way. We turned to bolt across the street when we saw the eerie glow of a white mask in the shadows on the other side. We backed into the alley, which was exactly what they wanted and the white mask faded into the shadows.

A tall fence, too tall to jump and too slick to climb hit out backs. We were trapped. My heart sped to the speed of a terrified rabbit's and my eyes darted for an escape route that wasn't there. Bone chilling laughter reached my ears as the four stepped into the entrance and blocked our only way out.

The moon moved from behind a cloud and their faces were visible to us, not that it mattered because they each wore a mask. They looked exactly like Macy's drawing, except more sinister and terror bringing in real life than they could ever be on paper.

"Where's Nick?" I asked, my voice shaking. The girl tilted her head to the side.

"And you care why? May I remind you that you tried to kill him last night?" She spoke, her voice smooth and cunning, reminding me of a snake.

"I…he is my brother! Of course I care!"I shouted at the girl, but she just smiled tauntingly.

"Wow. So beating him senseless is a sign of love. Well then Joseph, Kevin, let us show you how much we _love_ you."

The four advanced, all cracking their knuckles. One of the guys pulled off his black leather gloves and something on his hand shone.

"Like them?" he asked, noticing my gaze, his voice was hoarse and gruff as if challenging me. He displayed his hand and I saw three long and sharp pieces of metal imbedded into his hand. Like Wolverine from the X-men. "Courtesy of my father." He stated, flexing his fingers and pushing his messy curls from his face.

"Who are you?" Kevin asked. The group stopped within three feet of us and the girl answered.

"Our names will be given but they are not who we are. I am Raven. Over there is Omega the one with straight hair, Shadow is next to him, and this is Scythe." Scythe, the boy with the metal in his hands smiled at us in a mocking way.

"Where is the fifth?" I asked my voice quiet with fear. Scythe's green eyes went above us and I looked up to see the fifth member, standing on a flagpole and leaning against the buildings wall. His white mask stood out like a ghost, glowing hauntingly in the faint moonlight.

"And what is that coward's name?" I asked, putting all of my anger and hatred into my voice. The figure stiffened and anger flashed in his chocolate brown eyes. Omega stiffened his faded blue eyes on the spot above my head.

Shadow answered, his brown eyes glaring at us. "Our new leader." Was his short reply.

"And what is his name?" I asked with the same anger on his voice. The three guys went behind us and roughly grabbed our hands and arms so we couldn't move. The guy above us jumped down and flipped once before he landed lightly on the ground. Shock rose in my throat for that jump must have been thirty feet. He moved to Raven's side and the moonlight fell onto his shadow covered body.

He was the only one to wear a sleeveless black leather jacket. He took of his gloves and tossed them to Raven. I took a sharp intake as I looked at the scar and bruise covered arms of the unknown man. I turned my gaze up and looked into his murder filled brown orbs.

He took one step forward and kicked me hard in the stomach. I tried to regain my breath and I felt his tight grip in my hair, pulling my head back up so I was looking to the sky. His hot breath was on my ear and I repressed a shudder.

He opened his mouth and out came a voice I knew very well. But it was different, low and menacing and cold. It was not the voice I grew up hearing, but yet, it was.

"My name is Titan." He whispered just as his fist collided with my stomach.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Hi! You have reached Arie's voice mail. Please leave a review at the beep…..BEEP! Until next Update. _


	6. Night Walkers

**Koutai: **_Hi! Wow…for once I got some nice and none death threat reviews! Boo! I mean…yay. Lol. _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!_

* * *

_**JOE'S POV**_

**He was the only one to wear a sleeveless black leather jacket. He took of his gloves and tossed them to Raven. I took a sharp intake as I looked at the scar and bruise covered arms of the unknown man. I turned my gaze up and looked into his murder filled brown orbs.**

**He took one step forward and kicked me hard in the stomach. I tried to regain my breath and I felt his tight grip in my hair, pulling my head back up so I was looking to the sky. His hot breath was on my ear and I repressed a shudder.**

**He opened his mouth and out came a voice I knew very well. But it was different, low and menacing and cold. It was not the voice I grew up hearing, but yet, it was. **

"**My name is Titan." He whispered just as his fist collided with my stomach. **

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

I wanted to rage out, fight back, show them my wrath, but I couldn't for two reasons. One; I was restrained and two; Nick may be hurting Joe, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt Nick again…17 years of torment is enough for him to go through. But still, my heart was torn in two from my conflicting emotions.

On one side was regret for my actions and the _want_ to be punished by our little brother. But on the other side, Nick chose the Fallen over us, the wrong group of people and causing the bullying around town was just wrong, no matter how you look at it. I wanted to fight back and beat some sense into this kid before dragging his sorry butt home.

I watched, unable to decide what to do as Nick pulled back from Joe, and Nick glared daggers at Joe's fear and pain filled gaze. Nick's eyes glinted in a not so friendly way and his mouth turned to a sneer. But for some reason, he turned his back to Joe and took a step towards Raven.

"What, is that all you've got _Titan?" _Joe spat.

_Titan?_

I saw what Joe could not. Murder flashed in Nick's eyes and he turned faster than what I thought possible and punched Joe in the face, with enough force to throw back the guy that held Joe. Joe gasped in obvious pain and Raven looked impassively at him, but there was a hint of a smile in her silver eyes. Nick was visibly enraged; his pupil's dilated, chest heaving, knuckles clenched. Not one sign of mercy showed in his once calm and broken features. I did not know which face hurt me to see more.

Joe looked up and my heart stopped beating for a second as fear and shock covered it with their iron hold. I think my heart just made its decision.

Joe's pale face was covered in blood from his disfigured nose. Shock was evident in his eyes. _Well Joe, you did goad him…_

Nick turned away from Joe, disgust on his changed face. He looked to me, laughter in his eyes at some unknown joke. Raven's lips turned into a cruel smile. _Why do I get a bad feeling about this?_

The laughter did not fade from Nick's eyes as he punched me hard in the gut, knocking the breath from my lungs with an all mighty breath. I made up my mind as I watched Joe struggle from the corner of my eyes, but the guys just hit him again. Anger flared in my normally calm heart like a wildfire on dry grass.

I let my knees fall from under me, loosening the surprised grip of the guy behind me. Nick stepped back, but of fear or challenge, I knew not. I threw the guy over my shoulder and he sailed through the air and landed, on his feet, behind Raven. He ran towards me, but Raven blocked him.

"This is not your fight." She told him, her eyes on Nick, full of confidence.

I finally met Nick's gaze and flinched involuntary. He looked at me like I was a pile of dung; unimportant and useless. His stance was one of experience, one that has seen and been the victims of many fights, and one that has a desire for revenge, no matter the cost. He waited, in no hurry, for me to make the first move. A move I once would gladly take, but I hesitated, and then charged.

Nick easily ducked under my blow, not moving his feet, and bent back far enough for his hands to touch the ground. As I recovered, he went on his hands and spun his feet around, kicking my chest and forcing me away. He flipped onto his feet and looked at me in a mocking way. _Since when did Nick know how to fight? _

He ran to me, but I managed to jump away, but somehow, his foot hooked on mine and I crashed to the ground. I looked up into his loathing filled eyes as he shook his head at me, clearly saying; _This wimp is nothing. _

He turned from me and walked between Joe and me, and looked at each of us, a small smile on his lips and an evil glint in his eyes. He snapped his fingers once and Joe was let go. Relief coursed through my body was the thought of release came, but that was not their intentions, as we soon figured out.

Scythe kicked Joe hard and Shadow came over to me, kicking me in the arm with his lead topped boots…_ow. _

Then, Nick and Omega gave a high pitched whistle and just as I saw Raven and Nick jump clear across the twenty foot fence by using the garbage can off to the side, Shadow's boot meet my head and then blackness met my mind.

* * *

_TITAN'S POV_

_ I heard the sirens just as Omega did and we both whistled high pitch and long, like the whistle Raven gave me not to long ago. Raven and I jumped onto the trash can and vaulted over the fence and at the same time Scythe and Shadow kicked Joe and Kevin in the head and unconsciousness was immediate. _

_We landed safely and lightly on the other side as our new family followed us, making the way to our barn hide out. _

_Now that the moon was full, I saw an elegant and large looking house in the distance as we entered our hideout. Raven glared in the direction and sighed at my questioning gaze. We sat down around the small light and no one spoke for a good while. _

_Blood still thundered in my ears from adrenaline and the fire of rage that still burned in my heart. It had felt so good, after all of these years, to have the tables turned in my favor. To feel my knuckles slam into Joe's face and feel his nose shatter from the sheer force behind it. It was different with Kevin, he never actually caused me as much pain as Joe, but he did nothing to stop it either. To see them both withering in pain from my hand gave me a better feeling than cutting did. It was addicting, a burst of energy and the feeling of power and satisfaction it gave. I know knew why people called revenge a sweet mistress. _

_I recaptured the moment when I met both of my "brothers" fear filled orbs, loving the fact that I was the one to bestow it in their hearts. I allowed a humorless smile to lift my lips and I pulled the white mask from my face and placed it on my lap, admiring the way it glowed in the darkness, like a ghost stalking its next prey to haunt. How fitting…_

_Raven looked at the group and we all returned her gaze. Her silver eyes, now tired, were full of one question. _

"Was it worth it?" _She asked the group, but her words were directed at me. _

_I spoke without thinking, knowing the answer even before the question. _"Definitely." _I surprised myself at the chilling murder behind my voice and the others looked at me, hinting a smile. _

"They deserve a thousand more beatings for what they did to you." _Omega said, his sightless eyes starring off into the shadows of the barn. Raven laughed in agreement. I stood up suddenly, unable to take just sitting anymore. Raven looked at me and followed me out of the barn._

_By some unspoken consent, we walked towards the old house, alone under the full moon, walking in the night with the wind as our only witness. _

"That building was the place I called home an eternity ago." _Raven stated suddenly. I did not break my stride or the silence between us, but just shot her a glance. Her eyes were glued on the growing structure, her eyes unreadable. _

"My father and my mother were both genetic scientist. They unintentionally killed my little brother by an experiment. He was seven, I was nine. They changed me as well. I do not call myself Raven because of my hair, but because of my wings."

_I stopped and turned to stare at her, my eyes wide and confusion bubbling like lava beneath the surface. She smiled without humor and looked to the moon. After a long breath, she shed her jacket and turned towards me, something growing from her back. _

_A large and black wing emerged from her back, like a growing shadow. In the faint moonlight I could see the feathers blow softly in the breeze and it struck me how calm I was. I mean, why not? Omega was blind but he could still rob any museum and was the best fighter out of us all and Scythe had his claws. Shadow, well he is invisible in the shadows, even the faintest ones, as long as he doesn't move. So why would I be surprised that Raven was actually part raven?_

"How?" _I asked her, hoping she would entrust me to tell. _

"Before I was born, my father put bird genes in me, raven genes. Every read the book Maximum Ride?" _She questioned. I nodded, familiar with the story of the Avian Americans. _"Well, it is almost exactly like that except I cannot read minds or so on. My only 'special' powers are those of flight and increased hearing and sight. The genes also paled my eyes, which were once as dark as yours."

_I was silent, but not because I was stunned, but because I was contemplating. Thoughts and questions swirled around my brain, such as, why am I the leader to this group when nothing is special or even worth the attention about me?_

"When I saw you that one night, I knew that something about you was off. ´_she told me. _"Something I couldn't place. So when I saw you and that girl in the park, and I saw the scars, I knew. You were brought up unloved, you were one of us but living with the ones who brought you pain. That was Omega's mistake and he is reminded everyday of it when he opens his eyes and only can see an eternal night. When I reported your existence to our family, we agreed to take you in. But when we met you, we thought, no, we _knew _you were the right one to lead our gang. And you've proven it today."

_She looked at me, as though seeing if I would contradict her. I didn't verbally but my mind raced with different arguments to the fact. I was not one of them; I was not special or strong, I was only an unloved and hate filled puppet of despair. Raven looked away and sighed, and I saw the way her wings seemed to catch and hold the moonlight in each of her feathers. _

"I can see your doubt. Only one like you could lead us because of your past, your pain, your heart and your intelligence. Nick, you can pick a lock in a matter of seconds, faster than Omega can, you hid in the gloom as well as Shadow, you can cause the kind of pain Scythe can never achieve and your soul can fly higher than I ever could. You are different in your own way, a gem among stones. I am so happy we got to you when we did. Who knows if you would still be here today if we hadn't? But it is not you who is in debt to us, but rather the opposite. You gave us more that I can list. We are proud you are one of the Fallen, no, we are proud that you are the leader of the Fallen!"

_For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, but was only….years….I smiled out of joy. The joy of being spoken so highly of and for being accepted without fear of my brother's wraths. Raven smiled too. _

"You called me Nick." _I told her, not really caring. Raven smiled. _

"Don't get used to it Titan."

"You do know a Titan is the father of the Greek Gods and ruled in the age before the Gods as the most powerful being on this earth? According to Greek mythology I mean."

_Raven looked away, blushing slightly in the dark. _"Yes, I do. I gave you that name because that is what you are, a mortal Titan of today. Making your own changes to the world with your own power."

_I looked down at her, watching her blush grow. I put my hand over hers and she stiffened, but soon relaxed, grasping my hand ever so gently. _

_But even Raven couldn't brush away my own night that lived in my soul. The night I forever will walk in, searching for the nonexistent light of day to take away the sufferings my heart has endured throughout the dark years I all my life. _

* * *

_MACY'S POV_

I always thought that people can never forget who someone is, not their face, that can be forgotten, but the little things they do in their life is what someone remembers. Though I instantly knew who the fifth member was of the Fallen, I could not bring myself to accept it. This was not the quiet and sensitive Nick I knew, so in my mind, it could not be Nick. And yet somehow, it was.

I looked outside my room window, lost in my own thoughts and sorrow for the my best guy friends, avoiding answering Stella's multiple texts, needing time to myself, time to figure things out. Time to take a second look at my philosophy about remembering a face. Time to think over what might have cause Nick to defect to the side of the Fallen.

My phone rang for the thousandth time and I finally picked it up with a sigh. All of the texts said the same thing:

MACY!!! JOE AND KEVIN HURT BY GANG. THEY ARE FINE ON THE OUTSIDE BUT THEY ARE HIDDING SOMETHING!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!

Alarm ran through my heart as one explanation came to mind; Nick. I quickly answered, my fingers flying like lightening.

_Ok, Lucas house?_

Her reply was instant, like she was hovering over her phone.

_Finally. Yes, be here in 5. _

I sighed and grabbed my coat, told me mom where I was going and my dad drove me.

I was at the Lucas house in 4 minutes. As soon as I walked in, I sensed the tense mood. Joe and Kevin sat on the couch, black and blue. Both had their shirts off and I winced at what I would normally faint at.

Kevin had one large bruise on his stomach and another on his chest. His head bled a bit and his hands were covered in blue marks.

Joe was much worse. He had a bruise that covered his whole stomach and the skin was broken in some places. His face was pale and his nose was blue and red and had one of those nose band aid things that you have to put on when your nose is broken. I should know; I play too many sports not too.

Joe eyes depicted anger and Kevin's were dead. They turned their gaze towards me and I received one silent word that confirmed my hearts fear; Nick.

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**Koutai: **_Hi. More will be explained later, I promise. A war within a war shall emerge as well. Bye. Until next update!_


	7. Wars Within War

**Koutai: **_Hi! You guys are getting so much better at nice and non death related reviews…sigh, just when I thought I was loved enough to be threatened nicely….lol_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!_

_Nicks haircut that I mention looks exactly like his hair now. _

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_**NICK"S POV**_

_**I looked down at her, watching her blush grow. I put my hand over hers and she stiffened, but soon relaxed, grasping my hand ever so gently. **_

_**But even Raven couldn't brush away my own night that lived in my soul. The night I forever will walk in, searching for the nonexistent light of day to take away the sufferings my heart has endured throughout the dark years I all my life. **_

……**Macy's POV**

**Joe was much worse. He had a bruise that covered his whole stomach and the skin was broken in some places. His face was pale and his nose was blue and red and had one of those nose band aid things that you have to put on when your nose is broken. I should know; I play too many sports not too. **

**Joe eyes depicted anger and Kevin's were dead. They turned their gaze towards me and I received one silent word that confirmed my hearts fear; Nick. **

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

"My baby!" my mother said, tears running down her normally smiling face. "Oh Kevin, Joe, what happened to you? Who did this?"

I glanced at Kevin and saw he was looking to me. I gestured to my nose, not wanting to talk because my voice sounded weird from it and it kinda hurt too talk…and breathe.

Kevin sighed. "Well, Joe and I were walking to pick up Nick from his friends and…well…the newest gang came from nowhere and beat us up." He said lamely.

I saw Macy pale when he spoke, but it was not from fear, but of knowing. But that was absurd, she couldn't possible know that Nick was the one that caused this. She couldn't have possible known that the gang she drew included our brother. Our brother that I wanted to hit so hard that his children would be dizzy.

"Did you get any descriptions, any names?" our father asked, kneeling so he was eye level with us.

"No, it was too dark and they didn't say a word." I answered quickly. Truthfully, I had no idea why I was protecting my traitor of a brother.

Our dad sighed and nodded. "Just as well. I will tell the agency to cancel the upcoming events until Joe's nose is healed."

He walked off, concern showing brightly in his eyes.

"Boys, where is Nick?" Mom asked her eyes wide with what I thought to be fear. My heart clenched in my throat. How could I possibly tell our mom that Nick left with the gang after I almost killed him and he was the one responsible for this? To say that would ultimately be the end of Kevin's and my beautiful lie we spun about being a happy trio of brothers.

But we were saved from answering when the front door opened and closed. Macy squeaked and moved away as she saw who it was. I craned my neck, and Kevin did as well, wanting to see, though we already knew, who came to call.

"Nick, honey, I am so glad you aren't hurt!"

* * *

NICK'S POV

_I gazed at the door to my home, wondering what horror lay on the other side tonight. I turned back and saw four figures watching me, gesturing for me to continue. I shot them a thumbs up and heard their low whispers._

"Do you think it is right to let him return to the ones that nearly killed him?" Omega quietly questioned.

_Raven's response could have just been the whisper of the wind._ "Yes. He can take care of himself and too many questions will arise if he does not."

_I took a deep breath and laid my hand on the cold doorknob, knowing that my homecoming would bring the same temperature_. _Dread shifted in the shadow depths of my heart, making it more difficult than it should have been to turn a simple handle, to take three steps, to go home. Though my heart denied it, my mind's will was stronger and I opened the door and took the hardest three steps in my life. _

"Nick, honey, I am so glad you aren't hurt!"

_My mom gushed, engulfing me in a hug I did not expect. So, my brother's did not rat me out. That can mean one of two things; they are protecting me or they want to get their own revenge later. The last one was more likely. Joe and Kevin never cared enough about me to protect me and if my actions did not anger them, then they would not be the ones I call my brothers. But if the tried, they were in for a surprise. Raven was right; I can take care of myself now. She gave me the courage to do just that and I would no longer be a rug to walk on. _

_My mom released me and I feigned curiosity and ignorance, making my voice skeptical. _"Why would I be hurt?"

_My mom sighed and backed away and I finally saw the mess I left Joe and Kevin in. I had to fight to hold down a smile and it was even harder to force shock and sympathy onto my face and in my eyes. _

"What happened?"_I all but screamed, putting everything into making this act perfect. Kevin refused to meet my gaze and Joe glared daggers, all of which were missed by my mom and Macy, who walked into another room, obviously expecting us to share a brother to brother moment. Yeah right. _

"Like you don't know." _Joe's response came. His voice was cold and low and before, it would have sent shivers down my spine, but today, it brought a smirk to my face. _

"You are right Joseph. I do know. And I enjoyed every moment of my sweet revenge." _I whispered, my voice echoing with icy happiness. Kevin shivered and Joe lost his mad demeanor. They both gazed at me as if I where a stranger, and to them, I was. I even was one to myself. No more would Nick Lucas sit on the sidelines and be walked over and pulled apart at the seams. I grew out of that and adapted, 17 years too late. _

_Kevin finally looked at me and winced from the raw emotions of joy and anger my eyes held. _"Nick…" _He began, but Joe cut him off. _

"You little brat. And to think I was sorry about almost killing you. Now I just wished I did it when I had the chance!" _His words held the spark that leapt from his tongue to the dry weeds of my heart, instantly starting a blaze. My fingers balled into a fist and Kevin eyed my hand warily. But I did not strike, but smiled, letting my meaning flow without words. _

_Joe stiffened as he looked into my murderous gaze and Kevin looked away. _"My life is too precious to be lost." _I whispered, my words holding a hidden meaning. _"Yours on the other hand…" _I trailed off, letting the threat hang in the chilled air. Kevin looked at me, startled. Joe suddenly found the back of his hand interesting. _

_I turned away after one last death glare and walked upstairs alone. When I was up there, I went t a window and saw my new family watching, waiting to see if I was ok. I motioned to them and gave a low whistle. The answered it with a high one and ran off, the shadows of the night engulfing them like prey. _

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I was hardly aware of what I was doing the next day. My first hour class went by amazing slowly and my mind was having a little and thankfully unnoticed battle. The voices in my head sounded quite different. One was of a military commander and one was the one I used in front of cameras, the nice and sweet one that fans loved.

_Alright Joe, he may be your brother, but would a brother, especially your punching bag, get away with what he did to you? I think not. Now soldier, go out there and take your revenge!_

_No Joe, don't do it! He is your brother and this was only natural. You ruined his life and now he is taking his revenge. Yes it is wrong and violence never solves these problems, but he acted on the one thing that he knew; fighting. You taught him that for pain of his own beatings came from you. _

_Joseph Lucas! Shape up. No brother of yours gets away with something like this! He broke your perfect nose! He punched and kicked you in the gut, almost bruising a rib! He had you beaten and knocked out. Are you gonna take that with a hug or are you gonna show him what Joe Lucas is made of?!?_

"Mr. Lucas!" My teacher yelled and I finally jolted out of my attention hogging thoughts. _Shoot._

"Yes Mr. Larson?" I dared ask. My teacher scowled at me.

"Pay attention Mr. Lucas. You may be a rockstar, but you may NOT slack in MY class! Understood?" he steamed.

"Yes sir." I answered, both sorry and not.

I walked out of class, thirty minutes later and Kevin joined me. Macy stood, gazing through the atrium windows, at something or someone unseen. We walked over to her and gasped.

What is it about fear and shock that takes over every aspect of your mind and stills your body, making thinking and moving an impossibility? I can handle the pounding of a frantic heart that fear wrought, but the immobility that shock brings drags my limited sanity into darkness.

I gazed at the five through the windows, all by Nick's locker, all laughing and carrying bags, and all brought back memories of last night. Four guys, including Nick and one girl. Omega, Scythe, Raven and Shadow, all in the Horris Mantis uniform, all standing like they belonged here and all smiling like idiots. I suddenly knew why Macy was so scared.

Kevin and I ran around the corner and stopped a few feet away from Nick, standing and glaring at the group. Nick's back was to us but as soon as our gaze reached him, he stiffened and turned to look at us with a gaze I could not read. The group around him all looked at us curiously, gazes shifting between us and Nick. Raven stepped forwards, her hand extended, and a pleasant smile on her face.

"Hi, I am Ali, my brothers and I am new here." I glared at her, noting how her smile faltered and she withdrew her hand as if stung.

"Hey, buddy. I don't care who you think you are but what is with the cold shoulder to my sister?" Scythe asked, not meanly, but not warmly either.

Anger flared in my heart. How dare this mongrel speak to me like that, after what he did to Kevin and me! I balled my hands into fists and before I knew what I was doing my fist was cutting through the air towards the guys face.

But it never hit its target. Nick's hand shot from nowhere, grabbing and stopping my own fist, inches before it made contact. Scythe's face was one of surprise and fear. He stepped back, his sister and brothers forcing him behind him. Fear and shock froze their faces and I began to wonder if they were acting or just had a creepy likeness of those that attacked us last night.

I finally looked into Nick's face and bit down a flinch. His eyes were filled with controlled rage and his face was calm, which made the effect a whole lot scarier.

"Joe, Kevin. This is Ali, Jaden, Ethan and the one you almost hit is Caden. They are new here and I am their guide." Though his voice held no warning, his eyes clearly told me that if I didn't leave now, I would be very sorry later. _But when was I ever one to be afraid of my punching bag of a brother? Oh, that's right, when he totally kicked the snot out of you last night. But in a fair fight, one on one…_

I left the thought at that, ignoring the growing sense of wrong it brought. My little brother deserved punishment for last night and I didn't care how bad it made me feel, I was going to do it.

"So guys, I am sorry about that. You remind me of the gang around here, the Fallen. You see, they beat Kevin and me up pretty badly last night, broke my nose and knocked us out. Do the names Omega, Raven, Scythe, Shadow and Titan ring any bells?"

I watched their body language carefully. Nick gave nothing away, as he finally let go of my fist and pulled down his rolled up sleeve. The boys had no expression on their faces and Raven/Ali smiled. She walked up to me and went on her tip toes so she was whispering into my ear.

"Listen here Lucas. If you harm another hair on Nick's head, I will see to it personally that you will be more broken than your nose." She stepped away, smiling sweetly.

Nick gestured to them, and they all followed. Looking over their shoulders and sending us a silent death threat with their eyes. I willed my heart to not accept the fear at its door, but it was nigh impossible to hold back the shock.

* * *

_MACY'S POV_

School was finally over. It dragged on, slower than any snail could have gone, and all the while my confused heart spat up jumbled thoughts and charismatic insults. _Macy, he is changed now, let him go. _But my heart would not listen to the logic of my head. I walked into another hallway, not wanting to go home, when I stopped, as dead as my heart felt.

I saw him, hand in hers, lips on hers, alone in the hall of the school.

My heart screamed an unheard cry and its fire died casting my soul into a frozen winter wasteland. My breath stopped in my chest, willing my heart to stop for reasons denied. My mind spat insults that caught on the tip of my tongues, trapped behind my sealed lips.

_Why her? I was the one who loved him, the one who gave him everything. But he still chose her, the girl who will bring him nothing but heart ache. He was her flavor of the week. She didn't deserve his kindness or his vast am amounts of love; she deserved the fiery pit that lay deep within the earth's crust. _

_I willed my feet to step back, slowly and soundless to vanish in the shadows, but it was as if my shoes turned into cement, making movement nigh impossible. _

_My hearts screams turned into silent weeping as I watched the scene before me, realizing her would never have me; his best friend. He would never see what is best for him. But right now, the jealous and heart broken wreck that stood in my shoes didn't even know what was best for herself. _

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_ I walked over to Nick after the last bell, wondering to see if he would return home quickly, or if he was willing to delay. _

"Hey Ali." _He said, not even looking up. I loved it how he could tell a person from another just by the sounds of their footsteps. _

"Hey Nick. I really appreciated you showing us around school today and saving Caden's face. That was really brave to stand up to your brothers like that." _I stated, keeping up the act in case anyone could be listening. He smirked. _

"It's not a problem. I know you would and have done the same for me Raven." _He said, after sweeping the empty halls with his deep chocolate brown eyes. _"Besides, it is the least I can do."

_I looked at him as he pulled another notebook from his locker and into his bag. _"How can you stand the homework? I mean that language arts assignment on love is pointless and juvenile. No one should have to spill their deepest feelings to the teacher."

_Nick nodded and closed his locked, walking in front of me. _"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

_I looked at him and understood immediately. I reached for his hand and warmth spread through my fingers as his enclosed around mine, his amazing eyes filling my vision. _

"When you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of heaven." _I quoted softly. His eyes sparkled in amusement and his beautiful voice filled the echoing hall. _

"Gonna tell you that I love you, in the best way that I can. I can't take a day without you here; you're the light that makes my darkness disappear."

_I smiled as he softly brushed my cheek with his velvet hand. Never before has a guy paid enough attention to me to catch my attention, or for me to catch heart fluttered at his touch, a smile formed on my face and my cheeks grew hot as they blushed and I never wanted him to move his hand. Is this love?_

_Nick leaned in hesitantly, and closed his eyes as he closed the distance, pressing his soft lips gently against mine. _

* * *

**Koutai: **_Ugh this chapter sucks. Huh……explanations to questions of last chapter's reviews will be explained next chapter, I promise. And next chapter will be epic…with more fights…yeah…Until next update. _

_Wars can be of many and all sizes and causes. Whether of love, infatuation, heartache or sibling rivalry, all are important and none should be taken lightly. And, in more ways than one, wars form within wars, inside thoughts and hearts, confusing the struggle and blocking the fighter's goal from view. Take the time to ask yourself, what are you fighting for? _


	8. Silent Death Threat

**Koutai: **_Hi….enjoy…this may be death threat worthy….I'm gonna hide…_

_I NEVER HAVE/NEVER WILL OWN JONAS OR ITS CHARACTERS!!!!!_

* * *

_**Macy's POV**_

_**My hearts screams turned into silent weeping as I watched the scene before me, realizing her would never have me; his best friend. He would never see what is best for him. But right now, the jealous and heart broken wreck that stood in my shoes didn't even know what was best for herself. **_

…_**..(RAVEN'S POV)**_

_**I smiled as he softly brushed my cheek with his velvet hand. Never before has a guy paid enough attention to me to catch my attention, or for me to catch his. My heart fluttered at his touch, a smile formed on my face and my cheeks grew hot as they blushed and I never wanted him to move his hand. Is this love?**_

_**Nick leaned in hesitantly, and closed his eyes as he closed the distance, pressing his soft lips gently against mine. **_

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I glanced again at my watch, seeing that is was 9 pm and still no sign of Nick. He never came to my car after school and he never came home either. But I wasn't worried for I knew where he was and what he was doing. Actually, I was ecstatic. This was my chance to show Nick his well deserved punishment.

I walked out the door, Kevin following without a word. I had a feeling he knew what I was going to do, and I also knew he didn't like it. But hey, the silent ones never get their way; the ones with a voice prevail.

The warm wind hit my face as I walked swiftly, eager to get to my goal of my own revenge. Though I had no idea where The Fallen were, somehow I knew that I would be able to find them if I looked in the park, where I almost killed Nick. I don't know why, call it instinct.

But when I walked into the park and found the spot, nothing but motionless shadows and the haunting cry of owls greeted me. Kevin stopped a few paces behind me and he looked uneasy. But this drawback would not stop me.

"Joe, I don't think…" Kevin started, but I cut him off.

"HEY! FALLEN BRATS! COME HERE, OR ARE YOU TOO SCARED?" I screamed to the waning moon.

The leaves stirred in the slight breeze and the owls stopped their singing. Nothing moved, nothing approached. No laughter, angry cries, just Kevin's quick and scared breaths. My own anger mounted higher in my heart and clouded my thoughts. _Where are those losers?_

"Joe…" Kevin started again, this time moving closer towards me. But again I ignored him and yelled, anger manifesting in my already frigid voice.

"COME OUT HERE!!!! TIME TO FACE JOE'S REVENGE! SCREW TITAN! SCREW YOU ALL!"

"JOE!" Kevin shouted, forcing me around to face him. "Stop this! I've been silent for far too long!"

"And you found your voice too late," whispered a small and cold voice from the tree next to us. Raven and Titan dropped down, Titan's white mask standing out like a snowflake in the dark. Three other figures emerged from all sides, surrounding us, but I only had eyes for the one that broke my nose. The one who starred so impassively at me that it almost sent shivers down my spine.

I stepped forward, making the simple movement as challenging as possible. Titan tilted his head to the side and cocked his eyebrow, in a rather mocking manner. Scythe laughed, Omega stood there listening, Shadow was almost invisible but his scowl was clear and Raven had warning in her eyes.

"Titan." I sourly said, addressing him with scorn fit for a woman.

"Joseph." He answered, completely uncaring. "What do you want?"

"You and me, one on one, a fight for vengeance. If I win, you drag your sorry butt home and away from these piles of crap."

"And if I win?" he asked, his voice neither accepting nor denying my challenge.

"We'll be the brothers we should have been from the start." Kevin answered for me. I glared at him and Titan raised his head to look Kevin in the eyes.

"You may mean that, but Joseph won't hold it true and he will manipulate you. No, what I want is the worse thing that I can think of."

"And that is?" I asked, putting fear from my voice.

Titan smirked. "That is a surprise."

This time, I was unable to keep the shiver from running through my spine and chilling my toes. Kevin shifted behind me and I looked at him, and was surprised to see huge amounts of guilt in his eyes.

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Now that Nick stood in front of me, saying things that sent fear into my very core and froze it, saying those things without even a hint of joking or remorse, did I see the damage my silence has caused. This is what we turned our brother into, what we forced him to become. How could I be so silent? How could I let it get this bad?

Nick gazed at me, and I saw that his brown orbs did not hold the resentment and rage as they did when he starred at Joe. But they still were not happy or pleased to see me; there was still a small amount of hate in them.

"Nick, listen…I…I should have never stayed silent. Can you forgive me?" I pleaded, not meeting his eyes. I chanced a glance up and saw his eyes soften just a bit, but when he looked down, I saw no forgiveness.

"Kevin, shut up." Joe harshly said. "He should be the one apologizing, not you."

Nick glared at him and I took a step back. Raven clenched her fists and the three other boys shot their heads up, getting ready for whatever came next.

Nick took off his jacket and leather gloves and his shirt. I was thankful, for his sake, that the night was warm. He stepped into the bright light of a street lamp, and I gasped, finally seeing what I have been denying.

"Look at this and tell me who should be the one that is sorry." Nick spat out, his eyes full of animosity and hatred. Joe gasped slightly as we took in the discoloration and numerous scars that Nick adorned. My eyes found the first of the three I marked Nick with. Nick traced the one on his side, his face hard.

"Kevin, being silent was not the best thing to do in your situation, but that can be forgiven. But marking my body as you would a painting cannot be easily forgiven." He pointed to his side, to the scar he had been tracing. "Remember this one? I do."

I did too. I starred at it, seeing the scene rise up like a movie. Nick and I in a fight and Joe egging us on. I lost in, grabbing a random glass vase and chucked it at Nick. He managed to dodge most of it, but it hit his side and glass dug into him. I left the room, not helping him and Joe on my tail, laughing.

He turned so his left shoulder was visible and a long scar stretching from his shoulder blade to the small of his back was easily seen.

"Or this one?" He asked quietly. I shuddered.

"That one was an accident Nick! That was the last time I ran with scissors!"

Nick laughed coldly. "Yes, but when it sank into my skin and I screamed, you did not pull it out but dragged it down my back, laughing at my pain."

I looked to my feet, ashamed.

Nick pulled up his right pant leg and displayed the last scar I put on him.

"I know you remember this one. You made it two weeks ago."

"Stop it." I said, tears threatening to overflow. To my surprise he did. But he turned towards Joe and gestured to the many bruises and scars. Joe's eyes traced every blemish on Nick's muscled stomach and on his strong arms. His eyes narrowed when he looked at some of the scars.

"Not all of those are by my doing." Joe said.

Nick shook his head. "They are not by yours or Kevin's hand, or anyone's. The hand that wielded the weapon was my own."

I felt my eyes widen and my mouth drop in shock. I suspected it, but never actually knew. How did I let this happen? Joe was confused and did not understand, I understood that when he scratched his head.

"Kevin, you know what I am talking about. Explain it to Joe and how your silence helped me hold onto the habit." Nick said, without heat, but I knew from his calm tone that I had to be the one to answer.

"Nick…I never thought…I hoped…"I stuttered.

"But you suspected." He inserted. I nodded shakily and Joe finally understood, gasping loudly and putting a hand to his mouth.

He turned to me, his face pale and eyes pleading for me to deny the truth. "What is he…what?"

I took a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to calm my nerves. "After you ran to catch Stella, Nick went into the bathroom. For a few moments I heard nothing and then a crash. But Nick didn't cry out so I wasn't too worried. But after twenty minutes I became worried and walked in to an open window and the towel rack on the floor with a nail missing. I looked everywhere for that nail, but I couldn't find it. But what I did find was blood stained toilet paper and my own denial." I finished, finally letting out my secret.

Nick pulled something from his pocket and I need not look to know what it was. Raven and the others cast off their jackets and showed their own scarred and extremely pale arms. I stood next to Joe, watching his eyes widen as he looked from Nick to the nail.

"No…" He whispered, too quietly for anyone but me to hear.

I finally turned m gaze back onto Nick, who was rolling the nail around in his palm, watching the way the light reflected off its silver surface. He put the nail to his forearm, his eyes on Joe and filled with conflicting emotions I could identify as hate, anger, and…sorrow? I wanted to look away but was mesmerized by it at the same time. I watched my brother cut himself, no pain or regret of it in his eyes, in fact, his orbs lightened, as if happy by the fact he hurt us by hurting himself.

"Nick…"I whispered, not caring that my voice sounded so pathetic and broken. Joe stiffened next to me, his eyes unreadable.

Nick pocketed the nail and ignored the thin trail of blood that ran down his arm. "So Joseph, I accept your challenge."

Joe's eyes widened and for a second, he looked uncertain as to what to do. But he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, the all too familiar wildfire of fury raged in his hazel eyes. He took two steps forward, meeting Nick in the center of the circle The Fallen made. Nick put on his tank top was he walked, covering some of his marks.

They stood, facing each other in the center, neither moving. Joe moved, running to Nick, attempting to punch him in the side, but Nick was faster. He dropped to his knees and tripped Joe. Joe did not fall, but stumbled a few steps, which gave Nick time to stand again, making no move to attack his brother.

Joe ran again, only this time he stopped, intending to kick Nick in the shins or stomach. But again, Nick's speed surpassed Joe's and he grabbed Joe's foot and pushed it roughly away, not taking the opening he created.

"Fight me! You coward, fight!" Joe screamed, his voice wavering between anger and hesitation.

Nick's eyes narrowed as Joe pounced forward again. Joe's eyes widened in pain as Nick's fist met Joe's stomach. I saw Joe pale, but Nick's face was turned from me. Nick then kicked one leg under Joe's feet and knocked him to the ground and put a single foot on his chest.

"Too easy." He stated, backing away. Joe sat up, his eyes wide. Nick's eyes were wild.

"Code 912." Omega whispered, his soft voice ringing clearly. Nick stiffened and his eyes searched the perimeter and pointed to a clump of bushes. Raven ran to said bushes and jumped behind them, and brought out two very startled and dirty girls.

"Stella? Macy?" I said, shock in my voice.

Stella was pale and starred at Nick as if he was a maniac and Macy glared at Joe…an odd sight. I glanced at Nick, thankful his mask was on and I hoped Stella would be fooled.

"Nick…how could you?" Stella asked quietly. So much for fooling her. Macy stepped forward.

"You all better get out of here, I called the police and they are on their way." She stated.

"Omega," Nick said hurriedly, "Is she lying?"

Omega shook his head. "No, I can hear the sirens approaching as we speak."

Nick swore under his breath. We all turned to look at him. Nick _never _swore, no matter what the situation was. He ignored us, turning to his gang.

"Ok, Raven, you take Scythe and fly the coup. Shadow, lead Omega to invisibility. GO!" He all but screamed at them, urgency in his voice. It was at this moment I realized how much Nick cared for them. It made sense; they were the only people to stand by his side and to encourage him, no matter his actions.

Raven shook her head and the four gathered around Nick. "We are not leaving you. The Fallen fall together, just as we fight together." Raven said, grasping Nick's hand. I saw him squeeze hers, contradiction in his eyes. I also saw the way Macy stiffened and looked hurt.

"No, go! I won't have you locked up because of me!"

"Save it. You may give the orders, but we always have had a rebellious streak." Shadow added. His voice was quiet and smooth, like he was very well educated and good at getting his way.

Nick was silent, looking at the four with mixed emotions. But he nodded and watched the flashing lights approach as the Police drove through the park.

"So leader, what's the plan?" Rave asked.

"Beta-3," Nick responded. The others nodded and ran off, grabbing Macy's, Stella's, Kevin's and my hand. They led us to different hiding places; behind trees, under bushes, in the reeds of the pond, places like that. Nick stood alone on the sidewalk, making sure his mask was secure.

The police pulled up around him, three cars, 6 officers, each holding a gun that was pointed at Nick.

"Hand's up, on the ground!" one officer screamed. Nick complied. As two went to take off his mask and check him, Nick let out a long and deranged sounding bid cry, one that I associated with a sparrow. The Fallen rose and attacked.

Nick jumped up and in one move; the two police were down and out. Raven dropped onto another one and took care of him while Scythe tripped one and hit him out. Shadow came from nowhere and with one punch was successful. Omega crept up behind the last one and pushed him down, and kicked him with accurate precision so unconsciousness was immediate.

"Omega, Scythe, Shadow, do your thing." Nick whispered and the three went to the police cars. Shadow and Scythe lifted the hoods and shut down the cars, permanently. Omega went to one of the radio's which was asking for a report. When he spoke, it sounded exactly like the one that told Nick to go on the ground.

"No back-up needed. Rounding them up as I speak. Be back to the station in twenty if all goes well."

He listened to the reply and sent Nick a thumbs up. Nick nodded and turned back to Joe, cracking his knuckles.

"Well, ready to finish what we started?" He asked, quite confidently. Joe pursed his lips, looking between Macy, Stella and me. He then looked at his other brother and then to the defeated cops.

"I would, but you would kick my butt." He answered. I was never more proud of Joe than I am now. Nick smirked and the rest of his gang started laughing, calling Joe a chicken and other things.

"All bark and no bite when his punching bag starts punching back." Nick said, quietly, but his voice rang loud and true. Anger flared in Joe's eyes and he turned running back towards Nick, who easily stopped his punch. So much for being proud.

Joe skipped around Nick and feinted to the right, gaining an opening and taking it, hitting Nick hard in the side, in the exact spot I first scarred him. But Joe's face was not triumphant as I expected, but filled with unease of his actions. But he did not have time to do anything because Nick kicked him hard in the stomach and I winced from the blow. Joe retaliated with a kick of his own that missed Nick's shins by an inch. Nick made the mistake of grabbing Joe's foot and Joe made the mistake of punching Nick in the cheek. As Joe's fist made contact with Nick's skin, Nick pulled on Joe's foot, causing him to crash to the ground, on top of Nick. For a while they rolled around, scratching every inch they could find and drawing warm blood that stained the sidewalk.

Nick was forced from Joe, he sported a large bruise on his cheek with a bleeding scratch down the middle and Joe rolled away and stood. Nick grabbed something from the ground and stood as well, his arm out to Joe.

Joe turned to face Nick, and his eyes widened. For Nick stood, legs squared, murder on his pale face, and a gun in hand.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Still hiding…Until next Update!_


	9. Black Shock

**Koutai: **_So you have wished it, so it shall be. But if I had my way, I would make you all sweat a bit longer…I will with this chapter…that's for sure…muwhaha. _

* * *

**Nick was forced from Joe, he sported a large bruise on his cheek with a bleeding scratch down the middle and Joe rolled away and stood. Nick grabbed something from the ground and stood as well, his arm out to Joe. **

**Joe turned to face Nick and his eyes widened. For Nick stood, legs squared, murder on his pale face, and a gun in hand. **

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Fear held onto my heart, stopping its beats and clamping down on my legs so I couldn't move. The only thing I could do was stare at the scene on front of me; Nick pointing the gun straight at Joe's head. Murder reflecting on Nick's covered face and fear and confusion on Joe's.

"Nick, you don't…you don't want to do this." Joe stuttered out, his eyes only on the gun. Mine flicked to Nick, who wore a scowl.

"You're right." Nick said raising the gun. "I don't. I want to do _this._" He put the gun to his own temple and we all stepped forward. Raven stepped behind Joe, her lips forming frantic and silent words. Nick looked at her and answered just as silently. Obviously they could lip read. Raven bit her lip and nodded; backing off, fear in her own orbs.

"Nick…don't." I whispered, unsure if he heard me.

"Give me one thing that I have to look forward to in my life. One reason why I shouldn't pull the trigger." Nick quietly demanded. I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. But Joe intervened.

"Nick…please don't. I…I'm…I'm sorry." Joe said, his eyes lowered to the ground. I could have sworn to see tears accumulating in them.

I looked to Nick, to see his unforgiving and cold stare, directed at Joe's pitiful state. He shook his head.

"Wrong answer."

His finger tightened on the trigger and Macy let out a frightened squeal. I closed my eyes.

* * *

_TITAN'S POV_

"You'reright." _I said raising the gun._ "I don't. I want to do _this._" _I put the metal to my own temple, repressing a shiver from its cold touch and a laugh as the ignorant ones stepped forward. _

_Raven went behind Joe, in my line of vision and mouthed to me; "What are you doing? This won't help a thing!"_

_I scowled at her lack of seeing. "Of course it won't. The safety is on and I tested it when I stood up. I just want to scare them. I know exactly what I am doing."_

_I could tell she didn't like this, but she bit her lip and backed down. _

"Nick…don't." _Kevin whispered as quietly as shadows breathe. _

"Give me one thing that I have to look forward to in my life. One reason why I shouldn't pull the trigger." _I quietly demanded, wanting them to see that they turned my life into my own personal hell. I wanted them to feel how I felt every day, scared and utterly alone. I wanted them to suffer as they made me suffer._

"Nick…please don't. I…I'm…I'm sorry." _Joe said his eyes lowered to the ground. I could have sworn to see tears accumulating in them. But his tears did not affect me. He was only experiencing a small amount of remorse that would vanish as soon as I gave in. I knew Joe, and I knew that he only felt anger and hate when he looked at me._

"Wrong answer."

_I tightened my finger on the useless trigger, hearing Macy scream out and watching Raven tense as Kevin, the coward, closed his eyes. There was no bang, no pain, no anything really. There was a deep satisfaction about seeing my so called brothers cower in their fear of losing their punching bag. _

_But in one simple move, I was able to turn it around so they were the lonely defenseless lambs and I was the lion. Strong and unopposed, feasting on the terror of its prey before it makes the final death strike. Playing with its food, proving who the real master is. Lambs were weak and useless as everything, except as the all mighty lion's prey. _

_I pocketed the gun and motioned for my new family to follow. They walked silently to me and fell a step behind me. I stopped and glanced back at the pitiful image behind me. Joe's tear stained face looking at me with shock and anger, Kevin was white and guilty, Macy was filled with raw rage and Stella fainted. _

_I smirked and looked away, but did not move. _"Because you did not win the challenge Joseph, you're punishment is telling mother and father that their youngest son is not coming home. You have to truthfully answer each of their questions and follow their demands. I shall know if you do not. Goodbye Joseph and good luck." _I put every ounce of sarcasm into that last sentence, wanting Joseph to see that I was laughing at his demise. _

_I led the group away from the park and to one of the many underground tunnel's Raven's family had dug. The darkness was absolute, but Omega, even though he was blind, took the lead. He had the best hearing and sense of direction, having to live in this kind of darkness daily. He was our secret weapon, I guess one could say. _

_I pushed open the door to the outside and climbed out, making sure the field was clear. It was, so I pulled everyone out of the tunnel and we walked to our hideout, the old barn. _

_After tossing the gun to Shadow, I went outside, trying to calm my jumbled and racing thoughts. Raven walked out after me, glancing very briefly to her old house. She took off her jacket, which she must have retrieved when Joe and I were fighting, and let her wings spread a little. _

"How did you parents do that? And why?" _I finally asked her. _

_She looked to the moon, thoughtful. _"My parents always wanted to have unique children; kids that weren't 100% human. In reality, I am there fifth kid and first daughter. I am the only one to survive past the age of five. They used amniocenteses to put various animal genes in my siblings and me. I got Raven's and my little brother, the only one of my family I vividly remember, got cheetah. The result for me was wings and heightened senses, for him, were spots and speed. He died two years back from it. His body couldn't handle it anymore."

_I nodded, in what I hoped a sympathetic way. _"What of your parents?"

_Raven pursed her lips and something flew across her eyes. _"They were their own downfall."

_I waited for her to say more, but she did not. _"What about the others? Scythe, Omega, Shadow?"

_She smiled, thankful for the change in topic. _"Scythe's dad was from the military and quite mad. He wanted his son to have a way to protect himself when no weapons were available. Omega was abused as a child and his own mother pricked his eyes with needles before he left. Shadow was so badly hurt that he learned how to blend into the shadows when his drunken family came home. We all got together, meeting at your school three years back and formed the Fallen a year ago. We left school for that year and now we are back, new names and identities to help another Fallen in need."

_I nodded again, staying silent; listening to the song the wind made when it brushed threw the long grass. I heard footsteps behind us and turned to face Shadow._

"Joe is talking to your mom. Wanna listen?" _He asked. _

_I walked to the barn without another word and watched the television broadcast live from the camera I placed in my old living room. _

_Joe sat, our mom standing in front of him. She did not look sad or angry or even scared. Strike one against Joe. _

"Joe honey, what happened to your face?" _Our mother asked, concerned. _

"Nothing, I fell again." _The liar responded. _"Oh, by the way, I talked with Nick in school. He is staying at a friend's house to work on a history project. I'll call him later to check up on him." _Strike two. _

_Joe got up and walked upstairs to a waiting and disappointed looking Kevin. Joe turned his back to the other camera I placed and crossed his arms. _

_In an undertone Joe said, _"That brat of a brother has no sense. I will personally drag his sorry butt home and have him tell mom and dad how we got our bruises and I will make sure he stays silent about how he got his."

_A cold hand grabbed around my heart and brought the all too familiar fire of rage rushing through my being. Letting nothing show in my face, I stood up and turned off the TV._

"Strike Three."

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

The next day at school, I saw Nick and his little group of violent police beating weirdo's smirking at something Nick had said. Macy and Stella met me halfway down the hall and so far they kept to their oaths of secrecy, fearing that I might turn my anger on them.

As I sat down on the steps, waiting for Kevin, I watched Nick lean against the lockers, a cocky smile on his face. I almost didn't recognize my brother anymore. But then again, I never actually took the time to look at him this closely before. Nick's gaze passed right over me as he looked off in thought. He spoke a few short words and the whole group nodded, giving him a fist pound. The bell rang and I looked again for Kevin and saw him walking down the stairs, avoiding looking at Nick's locker and he walked right past me, ignoring me even when I called his name. Laughter burst from the hall behind me and when I turned, I saw Nick smirking and the other's rolling their eyes as if to say "_So, how do you like being ignored?" _

My military leader in my head woke up and screamed insults that I had to bite my tongue to refrain from saying. I don't know how yet, but Nick was going to pay dearly…maybe even with his life.

…….

Mom and dad were gone over night and Frankie was at a friend's house again. It was a little after midnight when I finally went to bed, a plan for my vengeance made out.

At 2 am, I awoke to the sound of almost silent footsteps. Fear grasped my half asleep heart as I bolted upright, making the darkness seem more complete than it actually was. I crawled out of bed and woke Kevin silently, and whispered to him what I heard.

We were both silent and then a creak in the floor from downstairs was heard. He grabbed one of his guitars and I grabbed a random baseball bat. We crept downstairs, and just as we reached the level, the light blared on; blinding us and laughter of five people reached my ears. _Oh, so that's what this is about._

I looked up, blinking away tears and saw Nick and the Fallen, all with masks and standing there, watching us.

"What do you want?" I spat out, letting my anger flow evenly into my words.

Nick shook his head and cracked his knuckles. "You didn't abide to my wishes. You failed the rules of your own challenge."

Nick stepped forward menacingly and Kevin walked back to the stairs and sat down, not even attempting to calm Nick or help me. Nick's eyes flashed to him and narrowed but he did not comment.

I stepped forward, willing, but at the same time not, to endure another battle with Nick. He took something from his pocket and gave it to Omega; the gun. And before I was ready, he pounced towards me, smacking me hard in the face. I did not cry out as I felt the sting as I dropped the bat. I would never give him the satisfaction of knowing my pain. Adrenaline coursed like wildfire through my vein and my exhaustion disappeared from my mind, whipping it into action.

Nick turned and I forced my fist into his gut, but instead of stopping like I suspected him to do, his face just contorted in pain as he grabbed my wrist and twisted, making me hiss in discomfort. He let go and knocked my feet from under me, but I grabbed the side of the counter and hoisted myself up before he could take the opening. This time, my bother of a brother would not best me.

I twisted in a way my spine screamed in protest, but it allowed me to grab Nick's curls and pull up, causing a tear to fall from his eyes. But this did not last, for he chopped my side with his foot and I let go involuntarily. Nick shook out his short curls and glared.

"No one touches my hair." He spat out, full out hatred in his wide and deranged looking eyes.

He jumped onto the couch and over my head, pushing me over the back of the couch and I flipped onto the ground. I landed funny though and my arm throbbed, but it was not broken. I stood up, only to see Nick on the couch, ready to force me down again. But I was faster for the first time and ran, knocking into Omega, who dropped the gun and tripping over my own two feet. Nick's harsh laugh filled the room and I saw a glint of silver in his hand as he pulled a knife for the garbage. The same knife I used on him.

Instinct drove me. I grabbed the first thing in my reach, jumped to my feet and did something I never thought I would do. I pulled the trigger of a gun and Nick went down with a bang and burst of red.

* * *

**Koutai: **_I know it is short. Blame silvereyed angel for the cliffhanger cause she told me she could take an intense one. Nick is not dead…yet…Until next update!_


	10. More than One

**Koutai: **_I purposely waited to post this…I am evil. I wanted you all to simmer in the terrors of my last chapter's cliffhanger. Muwhaha._

_Happy Christmas! This is my gift to you…though it may depress a lot of you and inspire death threats and watermelon throwing…and fire chainsaw's….yeah, I will hide now. _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!_

* * *

_**JOE'S POV**_

**He jumped onto the couch and over my head, pushing me over the back of the couch and I flipped onto the ground. I landed funny though and my arm throbbed, but it was not broken. I stood up, only to see Nick on the couch, ready to force me down again. But I was faster for the first time and ran, knocking into Omega, who dropped the gun and tripping over my own two feet. Nick's harsh laugh filled the room and I saw a glint of silver in his hand as he pulled a knife for the garbage. The same knife I used on him. **

**Instinct drove me. I grabbed the first thing in my reach, jumped to my feet and did something I never thought I would do. I pulled the trigger of a gun and Nick went down with a bang and burst of red. **

* * *

_SHADOW'S POV_

_ Quickly I reacted, expertly kicking the gun from the rat's hand and catching it, putting the safety back on. It must have come of when Omega dropped it because this scum probably had no idea how to work a gun. Omega's head whirled to Titan, his sightless eyes wide and I followed his path of vision and saw Raven on the floor, next to a very pale and wide eyed Titan. _

_His hand was covering the right side of his stomach and covered in crimson liquid that stained his skin. His breaths were surprised and pained pants. For one moment, I allowed myself to feel fear. My heart pounded and covered my thoughts in a haze. And then, I pulled out of it and took charge. _

"Raven, take him and fly. Omega and Scythe will clean up this mess. I will meet you there. Get the first aid kit and put pressure on that wound. GO!"

_Raven nodded and helped Titan stand, taking most of his weight onto herself. Titan's mask must have fallen off and his now exposed face was filled with the kind of pain that broke my steel heart by just looking at it. It was as if he was silently asking Joe 'why me?' Titan's eyes were wide and full of denial and pain as he looked to Joe. Joe opened his mouth, but closed it, tears falling from his eyes. If Titan was affected by his tears he did not let it show in his face. Raven led him out and I saw the outline of her wings in the darkness, and then they were gone. _

_I turned towards Joe and saw him silently pleading with the other brother. Kevin shook his head, fear and disgust and worry all crowded in his eyes as he ran up the stairs, not taking another look at Joe. Omega turned his head at Kevin's sobs. _

"What were you thinking? He would have never hurt like this. In fact, his requests never involved anything like his. He is a gem among dung, and you…"_ I couldn't go on and I turned running out the door until the night swallowed me whole, my own tears falling from my almost black eyes. _

* * *

_OMEGA'S POV_

Sometimes being blind was unbearable, but other times, it let me see more than my team could. I heard the safety click off when I dropped it, I heard Joe's finger crack as it tightened around the trigger, and I heard the bullet rip through innocent flesh. Now all I heard was tears and sadness from my own heart and from the ones around me. I heard Scythe yell at Joe and tie him up for Kevin to later undo.

I smelled Nick's blood on the ground and Scythe pressed a rag damp with a strong smelling solution for me to clean it up with. So I did just that.

From the amount of blood I could smell and feel, I was able to gauge where the bullet entered. To me, it looked like the shot wasn't immediately fatal but it would bleed too much. Maybe a side shot. If that was true then I needed to know.

"Scythe, what side was he shot on?"

"The right," was his reply. I nodded, feeling him kneeling down and start cleaning with me. I heard Joe's breathing somewhere to my left and behind me.

"Joe, did Nick have his appendix removed?" I asked him, knowing this answer could save or end Nick's life. Joe must have nodded or shaken his head because I heard the swish of fabric but not is voice.

"Out loud please. I am blind you know." I informed him.

"Yes. When he was younger," came a very broken reply. I found myself hoping that Nick would find it in his heart to forgive Joe for this. It was easy for me to tell that this killed Joe and pained him worse than a broken heart could ever pain someone, or worse than twenty pins to your eyes, and trust me, I knew.

I nodded and finished wiping up the blood. Twenty minutes have passed. I looked to where I guessed Scythe's face would be and gestured towards the door. He nodded.

"You best hope he makes it through this. If not, you will _never_ have a happy day again. I shall see to that." Scythe threatened Joe, his voice colder than liquid nitrogen and so anger filled that I could almost hear the magma boil in his heart.

Truthfully, I felt the same way, but for Joe's sake, I stayed calm and strong, though my heart was far from stable. Sadness rained silently and created a smoke of fear as it hit the magma of anger. All in all, I was a wreck but show it I did not.

* * *

JOE'S POV

Kevin did not come down when Scythe and Omega left, but I liked it better this way; the rope digging into my wrists and the silence engulfing whatever sanity I had left. How could I have done that to Nick? My little brother…No, I don't deserve to call him that. I was never a brother to him. Never. And I still don't know why I found terrible pleasure in his pain when I beat him in the past. He never did anything bad to me and yet I was always there to punish him for the bad things that happened in my life. I always blamed Nick for things he wasn't involved in; like breaking my tambourine when a fan trampled it, setting fire to my straight iron because I forgot to unplug it, and for Stella breaking up with me. All of those things were my fault and yet I made myself believe they were Nick's. I was the one that deserved to be shot and on a deathbed, not Nick. But then again, Nick would ever have caused me that kind of pain. Never.

As I sat here, unable and not wanting to move, I can to realize there is more than one type of pain. There was the pain in my heart as it shatter beyond repair and then was trampled on by a hoard of elephants. There was the pain I felt in my wrists, which was a petty reminder of the pain I brought Nick. And there was the pain that echoed all over my mind, pummeling my anger to the ground and replacing it with guilt and remorse that tore apart my entire being. I now knew what it felt like to want to die. _Maybe Nick would be better off if I was dead and gone…if he lived. _

_No Joe, don't even think that. He will live, he has to! If he doesn't then there is no way you will be able to apologize a million times and hug him and follow his every wish and show him how immensely sorry you are._

_Ah, but will he forgive you? I wouldn't after all you put him through. Apologizing will do nothing, he has turned his back on it once and he hasn't even forgiven Kevin yet. What makes you believe he will ever look at you with love or respect or even without a glare?_

_Shut up military leader. No longer will I allow you to rule my thoughts. If Nick turns me away, I won't get angry, he has every right too! Especially after all I put him through. I wouldn't forgive myself either but the least I can do is show him that I am truthfully and with all of my broken heart, sorry. _

My thought fight died as I starred at the same spot on the floor. My vision was blurred from my tears and the rope was now bringing droplets of blood, but I did not cry out. I deserved more pain than this, but for now, this was all I had.

Kevin walked down the stairs and his eyes went around the blood free floor and rested on my pitiful form. He walked over to me and untied the ropes and I didn't acknowledge him for I was too lost in my own suffering.

"Joe?" he whispered, his own pain and disappointment filling his quiet voice. I could not look into his eyes, which I knew were filled with the same kind of emotions. I hated myself for doing this and I knew Kevin must feel the same way.

"Joe, listen to me. I don't hate you but I am disappointed. Nick…Nick will be fine. He is a tough one."

I still did not look at Kevin but I did speak, my voice cracking from sadness at every breath. "What if…he doesn't make it? I…I hate myself for this Kevin! I can't take it anymore! And…and…as soon as mom and dad get home…I will tell them what I should have told them from the start of this whole thing. No more lies."

When Kevin spoke, there was a hint of pride in his voice. "No more lies."

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I felt the wind blast my face as Raven flew quickly to the hideout and I felt her tight embrace as she held in bridal style. I felt the coldness my wound brought every time my heart beat forced out more blood. I felt the pain of Joe's actions heavy on my mind and weighing down my soul. _Why did Joe do that? I would have never hurt him…not like this…even after what he did to me…

_Raven landed lightly and set me down, grunting. _"Man, you are heavy."

_Normally, I would have laughed, but her words barely brought a sad excuse for a smile to my lips. She helped me to the barn and had me lay down while she got out the kit. She pressed a rag down on my side and pain shot through like lightening from her touch. I was unable to not hiss in pain and Raven apologized. It was silent for a span of seconds and I became aware I was getting lightheaded. _I'm losing too much blood…_I realized. But what did it matter? Joe wants me dead so maybe I should just give up…_

_I closed my eyes, trying to ignore Raven's sobs and keep my breathing even. But those two things were impossible and with each growing second I failed with that more then I failed at life. _

_The growing lightheadedness turned into soul sucking darkness that grabbed at my conscience and pulled it, little by little, into its promising hold of nothing. I knew fighting would be futile because in the end, everything would be the same. So I gave in, and fell into the darkness of my soul, which was the first step to death. The last thing I head was Raven's soulful cry._

"Nick!"

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Mom and dad called an hour later. They told us that the business meeting was pushed back so they will be in Arizona for a few more days. They already told Frankie's friends mom, who he was staying with and she just wanted me to know. So I guess telling them would have to wait because this is something no one should find out over the phone.

Joe and I went to school, same as always and Joe's eyes still held a dead look and it looked like he did not get any sleep. We separated for class and I hated to leave him in this state. I then saw Omega, Scythe and Raven by Raven's locker, all looking downcast and tearful. I feared the worst. Raven's gaze caught mine and she instantly looked away, but I saw her pain and fear. My heart ached and I hoped Joe would not see them today. But where was Shadow?

I walked over to them and Omega and Scythe left, leaving the hall empty to just Raven and me.

"Raven…?"

Raven looked at the ground and did not answer. She walked pass me and stopped. "I don't know Kevin. I don't know." She walked away, her eyes filling with tears and somehow, I knew that she did know. She was just protecting me from the harsh truth.

* * *

**Koutai:**_……………………………………………………………Until next Update………………………_

_Sé mor'ranr ono finna un sé onr sverdar sitja hvass!_


	11. Death of Heart

**Koutai: **_ So, who thinks Nick is dead? Let's see if this chapter changes your guess…More Raven's post in this chapter as well…it is kinda sad…even for me. _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!_

* * *

_**NICK'S POV**_

_**The growing lightheadedness turned into soul sucking darkness that grabbed at my conscience and pulled it, little by little, into its promising hold of nothing. I knew fighting would be futile because in the end, everything would be the same. So I gave in, and fell into the darkness of my soul, which was the first step to death. The last thing I head was Raven's soulful cry.**_

"**Nick!"**

……**KEVIN'S POV**

**I walked over to them and Omega and Scythe left, leaving the hall empty to just Raven and me. **

"**Raven…?"**

**Raven looked at the ground and did not answer. She walked pass me and stopped. "I don't know Kevin. I don't know." She walked away, her eyes filling with tears and somehow, I knew that she did know. She was just protecting me from the harsh truth. **

* * *

MACY'S POV

Something was definitely up. Joe looked like a walking zombie that died from sadness, Kevin looked like he was trying too hard to be his version of normal and Nick…well he wasn't here, which is odd enough. But neither was that guy from his gang. Were they doing a mission of some sort? Golly I hope not. It was bad enough that Nick went the joined the gang as readily as I join sports, but now he is missing school for it? That is so not like Nick.

Wait, why do I care? He may be Nick, but he changed! He is not the guy you fell for Ms. Misa… So then, why does my heart still cry from his hand in mine? Love sucks.

I walked over to Kevin, who was putting a book in his locker, avoiding catching anyone's eye or looking to the side, where Nick's locker was. Strange.

"Hey Kevin! Are you ok, you seem…different." I asked him, rather lamely.

Kevin looked up and tried to force a smile on his face and failed miserably. "Hi Mace. I'm good…I think."

Curses, he was getting better at lying. Maybe a more direct approach would crack him. "Where's Nick?"

He looked away and closed his locker. "Sick." He turned to see my face fall in disappointment, but he took in a sorry and sad manner. "Don't worry Mace; I am sure he will be fine." But it sounded as if he was attempting to convince himself and not me.

"Sure Kevin of Jonas, I don't have a doubt. Do you know when he will be well enough to come back?"

Kevin shook his head. "No Macy of School, I don't know. Really, I don't. I got to go to class. Bye."

I opened my mouth but he was gone. School ended five minutes ago. What is going on?

* * *

_SHADOW'S POV_

_ Every time I treated a victim on their death bed, I always wondered what death would be like for them? Would they see the pearly gates of heaven and be admitted with praise and love, or would their welcome be the eternal fire of the Devil's world. I could normally tell where a person would end by just looking into their eyes, but that was getting harder each day. _

_Raven had the purest eyes I had ever seen and her heart was a beacon of hope for those who lived in darkness. She started this gang, took as all under her wing, no bad pun intended, and she did the same to many others, but none of them lived. Omega, forever sightless but forever my idol. He inspired hope in life where Raven can not by doing things people with sight would find impossible. Scythe…well what I can say? He tries his best to find the answer to solve his friends' pain in ways most people would frown upon, but his intentions were pure enough. It gets harder from here. _

_Kevin Lucas, the silent one who recently found his voice. Yes, he did mark up his brother but I could see his guilt and remorse in his eyes every time he thought someone wasn't looking. Joe…he found joy in the worst way possible by slowly and painfully ending the life of his own brother. But the look in his eyes last night…I don't know. Nick, his heart was as white and pure as anyone could hope for, truly a diamond among mud. As for myself…even I can not answer that. My deeds in life have not all been good, but in the end, I hope my good outnumbers the bad. _

_I watched the sun light fit through the tightest spaces on empty in the barn, filling the dank hideout with an indescribable glow. I closed my eyes as the light fell on me, feeling the warmth it brought my cold skin. But not even the fire of the sun could thaw my newly frozen heart. _

_Joe…his own brother…how…_

* * *

_OMEGA'S POV_

I followed Raven's almost silent footsteps as she wandered to our barn. Scythe had run off for an errand of his personal nature, so it was just us two.

"Caden…?" Raven whispered with the wind.

"I know." I answered. Some might call me a mind reader, but no, I was reader of hidden emotions.

I heard someone run from a building to behind a tree, following us. The footsteps sounded of an experience stalker, one used to watching its prey. A male no doubt, a male that ran a lot…possible from fans.

Without stopping I spoke amused. "Joe, I can hear you."

Raven stopped and twirled around, her hair flying around her head like a black halo. "Joe?"

I heard Joe walk out. "I have to know…" He sad, his voice full of sadness and hopelessness. For a minute I felt bad for him, but I did not allow the moment of pity to show on the stone features.

I felt Raven tense and she bolted to the right, me close on her tail, one finger in her belt loop. She kept turning and I heard Joe running after us. She ducked and slid, pulling me with her, under something large. I knew silence was needed for this hasty hiding spot.

I heard Joe's footsteps stop exactly four feet from us. I heard him kick the wall and swear softly and I heard his tears hit the pavement with gaining speed. I heard him whisper Nick's name.

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_ I lied more than I ever did today. I lied to Kevin when I told him I didn't know, I lied to Joe by staying silent, I lied to the office about Shadow an Nick's absence and I was lying to myself. Trying to convince myself last night never happened, it was just a bad nightmare. That after I got out from under this trash bin, I would go to the barn and walk into Nick's open arms and hold him without a care. But that was just a fantasy…one of the many I hoped for…one that will never happen. _

_I felt Omega relax and nod next to me and we both got out of the hiding place and ran straight for the barn. _

"Wait…Omega, I need to do something first and I need you to do it with me." _I said, stopping at the front door of my house. _

_He nodded and walked to the door, always knowing what I wanted and picked the lock in 13 seconds, 6 slower than Nick's record. _

_I stepped through the threshold and smelled the dust almost immediately. Omega scrunched up his nose and I breathed deeply, trying to find the scent of my mother's old air freshener, my father's laundry detergent, or my brother's smell of the forest. But none of it was there. It faded with the lives of those I loved. _

_I don't know why I was here. Maybe I just wanted to show myself that there was a life before all of this, and there could be life after it. Maybe I wanted to remind myself of what I lost and that I could lose again. Or maybe I just wanted someplace to cry quietly, and no one could see me or draw me from my heart filled with sadness. _

_Omega patted my back and left, leaving me standing in broken memories of a broken heart. I waltzed up to my brother's room, like my mom always did and found it virtually untouched and dusty. I bit my lip and went to our bathroom and pulled out a box of dusters. I cleaned my brother's room and sat on his bed, thinking to the many times I would tell him a story, tuck in his little black head of feathery soft hair, and pet the spot he had on his cheek. His large brown eyes would stare at me with such love that it broken the pieces of my heart just thinking about it. _

_I moved onto my parent's room and dusted it as an offering of peace to their spirits. They changed me, but without my raven abilities, I wouldn't be able to do what I do now. _

_I stopped at my room and held the cold silver handle, gaining the courage to open it once again, as I did so easily all of those years ago. With my eyes closed and a heavy soul, I turned the knob and entered. Opening my eyes to the soft silver designs on my walls and the many pictures of my family and friends. One was of Scythe, Omega and Shadow, before the Fallen started. I walked over to it and saw the pain in Omega's face and the smile on Scythe's. That was a troubled time, but even the Scythe could find a reason to smile. I gazed at the multiple pictures of loved ones, three alive, and three not. I wished I had a picture of Nick to stick up here thought it would be meaningless, seeing I never came in here. In fact, this was the first time in three years._

_I turned from the wall and looked out the window to see the view I still adored. The giant field of grass dancing in the wind and rippling like waves, gently hitting the old barn I begged my parents to keep standing. Trees were on either side of the field and a pond glittered innocently at the very end of my estate. _

_I cleaned my room and sat on my bed, feeling like I should be here, but at the same time, like I should be running far away from this place. I took off my jacket and allowed my wings to stretch out a bit, as I did so many times in my past. And like my past self, I gazed at the wall of pictures, remembering the times when I used to be able to smile easily. I used to laugh at the memories of the old, but now they brought up the tears my heart wept._

_They brought their minders of whom I've lost and who I will lose. They told me again and again that there is no life after death, there was just nothingness that eternally claimed your soul. I've been told death is a great adventure, but I don't believe it. Nothing cannot be an adventure…only the pain and suffering of living is an adventure. In fact, life is the great and terrible adventure, you fight to live and live to fight, only to lose in the end no matter how hard and true you battle. _

_My parent's, as uncaring to me as they were, I still loved them and missed them. My brother…he never deserved to die or to become a freak. My parent's cursed him by bringing him a fate of a short life and long death. And yet he still found love for me in his heart and he still smiled at the wreck he knew I was. Oh God, I missed him so much. Noah, why did you leave me?_

_I looked at his picture, tears blurring my vision to the point that his silhouette looked as if it were made of watercolors. I recalled my last conversation with him, neither of us knowing that this would be his last night. _

_**Flashback**_

"**Tell me a story sissy." **

_**I smiled at the cuteness of his puppy dog eyes. He was too young to understand the life he lived, so he had the right to be cute and happy. **_

"**Not tonight Noah. Let's just talk for awhile, ok?"**

**He nodded. "So, why do you want to change your name? I like your name Yana." He looked closely at me in confusion. **

**I touched his one cheetah spot on his cheek before answering. "I need a new life, one that isn't ruled by science. I need a new name so I can breakaway from my pains of this life and move on."**

"**But you won't leave me, will you Yan?" He asked, fear entering his small voice. **

"**I would sooner cutoff my wings than leave you." **

**He relaxed in my arms. He knew how much I loved flying at night. He pulled out of my arms and looked at my exposed wings, stroking them so softly that I could barley feel his touch. He smiled. **

"**As dark as night but a contrast of a heart so pure." He whispered. I brushed his long black hair from his gorgeous brown eyes and smiled. It wasn't uncommon for my little seven year old brother to say something so old, so it did not bother me. **

"**A lone raven's cry dominates the midnight sky." I whispered, quoting a poem I wrote, not so long ago. **

"**Raven…That's it! Yana, you can be called Raven!"**

**I thought about it. "No longer will the chains of past hold this soul, for now her life is in her control. Yana is gone and done, but Raven is second to none." I rhymed randomly. **

**Noah clapped and I took a fake bow, making him laugh and lighting his eyes up like the diamonds in the sky. **

"**Night Noah. Love you bro. See you in morning when the sun kisses your head and brings hope for a new day that outruns your fastest jog." I said, starting our long going tradition.**

"**Night Raven. Love you sis. See you in the morning when your wings may hide but your soul is flying higher than you did last night."**

**End**

* * *

_**JOE'S POV**_

__"Anything?" I asked Kevin, not caring how urgent and pitiful my voice sounded.

Kevin shook his head and I gripped my hair and yelled in frustration. Ever since Kevin got home, he has been looking for Nick's name in hospital's, cemeteries, news sites, anywhere for hope that our brother was alive, or just for the news that he wasn't. I held back hot tears and thought back to after school.

_I know Raven is hiding something. Why else would she run like that? Was Nick alive and did he beg her to not tell Kevin or me that he was fine, maybe out of fear that I would try and finish the job? Or was he really…Nick…I am sorry…_

* * *

**Koutai:**_ So…yeah…I feel bad for Raven now…cursed to eternally live, love, and lose. Until next Update!_

_Du Súndavar Freohr un Domia abr Wydr_


	12. Three Days

**Koutai: **_Special shout-out to Potter8 who correctly translated the phrase at the bottom of my last chapter! Woohoo! Ok, on to the story!_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS!!!!_

* * *

_**JOE'S POV**_

"**Anything?" I asked Kevin, not caring how urgent and pitiful my voice sounded.**

**Kevin shook his head and I gripped my hair and yelled in frustration. Ever since Kevin got home, he has been looking for Nick's name in hospital's, cemeteries, news sites, anywhere for hope that our brother was alive, or just for the news that he wasn't. I held back hot tears and thought back to after school. **

_**I know Raven is hiding something. Why else would she run like that? Was Nick alive and did he beg her to not tell Kevin or me that he was fine, maybe out of fear that I would try and finish the job? Or was he really…Nick…I am sorry…**_

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Our mom and dad walked through the door with happiness on their faces to see us again.

"Kevin! I am so happy to see you again! Can you pick up Frankie in an hour?" our mom asked.

"Yeah, sure mom. Can you and dad come to our room? Joe needs to tell you guys something…and I do too."

They looked surprised but did what I asked. I followed them and saw Joe sitting on his bed, knees to chest, and determination in his eyes. The first emotion other than sadness I had seen for two days.

"Joe, what is it, and where is Nick?" Mom asked him.

Joe bit his lip and told our parents to sit down. Our dad looked suspicious, and our mom looked worried.

"Mom, dad, I have done something that is really bad and I've been doing it Nick's whole life. I…I…"

"Joe, honey, whatever it is, I am sure once Nick gets back he will forgive you. He loves you, just as you love him." Mom stated, smiling softly. Joe lost it.

"Nick may never come back! He…I…I shot him ok?!?" Our dad stood up, his face pale and mom's hand went to her mouth. "I have been terrible to him his whole life, beating him…hurting him…not allowing him to make any real friends." Joe's eyes were filled with tears that fell and he spoke into his knees, his hands in his hair. "I beat him up in front of Stella one day and Stella broke up with me. I took my anger out on him with a knife. He ran to the park and I chased him and was inches from killing him when the gang, The Fallen, rescued him. Ever since, he has been a member of that gang, seeking his revenge of me. Two nights ago…We had a fight and Nick won…again…and he…took a gun from one of the police his gang beat up. I didn't follow his demands so he came to this house later with the gang and we fought. One of his gang members dropped the gun and Nick grabbed a knife, the same knife I almost killed him with, only I knew he wasn't going to use it. I panicked and grabbed the gun…and…" he completely broke down and I sat next to him, pulling into a hug and finished.

"He shot Nick in his right side and one of the gang members told us it was not fatal, but he would lose too much blood. We don't know if Nick is alive or not."

Tears streamed down all of our faces and our mother ran from the room. "Three days after today…if Nick or his gang doesn't give us any info in three days, then we can assume him dead." Our dad told us, running off to find our mom. We knew this talk was long from over though.

A knock on the door. I got up and answered it, expecting Macy or Stella. But no, Scythe stood on our doorstep…I was glad Joe was not here because I had a feeling I knew what this would mean.

"Wait, before you say anything…" I walked over, picked up Nick's lonely guitar and gave it to him. He looked surprised and confused. "If Nick is…you know…then I know he would have wanted to be buried with that…and if he is not…he would like to have that."

_,………., _

The next school day passed quickly, but that did not ease our nerves. It was now three days since Joe shot Nick, and we had three days to find out the truth. But much to our dismay, none of the gang was in school today.

Joe ran into the boy's bathroom and I followed him in. He went into a stall and collapsed onto a toilet seat, sobbing silently. Thankfully the bathroom was empty, so I locked the door, letting no one in.

"Joe, what's wrong?"

Joe lifted his head and starred at me. "Three days after a person's death, a funeral is held. That is why Raven, Omega, Shadow and Scythe aren't here. Nick's funeral…"

I knelt in front of him and took his hands. "No Joe. Nick is still alive…he has to be. They may be out for another reason, like…they didn't want to come to school today…" I said lamely.

Joe shook his head. "No Kevin…Nick is gone…I know it…"

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_ Not a word passed any of our lips as we sat in my parent's old room, all around their large bed. Omega was listening intently to the tiny sounds that cut through the silence, sounds most of us couldn't even detect. Shadow stood in front of the large double doors, his eyes on the ceiling above me. Scythe sat on the lower right hand corner, refusing to look at the bed, instead gazing at Nick's guitar. I sat, holding Nick's cold hand in mine, and brought myself to gaze at his once so princely face and his still form. _

_He was marble pale and his face was the calmest I'd ever seen it. He was shirtless, exposing Shadow's handiwork of white bandages, no longer stained red. All of Nick's bruises were gone and the only things he now carried were his scars. I closed my eyes, letting my old sadness overtake me once again, and felt a hand on my shoulder; Shadow._

"It will be alright Raven, you know this better than any us."

_I nodded, thankful for his reminder. I opened my eyes, drying my tears and smiled small at him and at everyone, Omega even smiled back. I turned my gaze back to the one that held my heart and watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, reminding myself he was not lost, Shadow had seen to that. I looked back at the bandages and remembered that night. _

_**Flashback…duh**_

_**I watched Nick close his eyes and pale and I begged him to open them again. But he did not. His breathing became more and shallower as his warm blood soaked through the rag and covered my fingers. Just as Shadow ran through the barn door did Nick stop breathing. **_

"**Nick!"**

_**Shadow ran over and pushed me out of the way, telling me to pull to kit closer to him and to cover the wound with a new rag. I did so as Shadow started to breathe life back into Nick. He counted the chest compressions and breathed again, me silently crying. After the second time, I whispered Nick's name again and Nick took his own breath as his heart finally restarted. **_

_**Shadow sighed in relief before he moved, swiftly cleaning around the wound and pulling out the bullet, stitching up the hole as well as he could and bandaged the wound, ignoring the traces of red that began to appear. **_

"**Keep pressure on that, we have to stop the bleeding!" **_**He yelled, throwing me another rag. So that is what I did, all night and Shadow took over the next day, watching over Nick while he forced us all to go to school. He told us that if Nick survived today, he would live. **_

_**We all came back to the barn that day with a heavy heart and found Shadow leaning against a wall, not far from Nick, and reading. He looked up at us and gave us a tired smile. Nick was still alive. **_

_**End**_

_I looked again at Shadow, silently thanking him for saving Nick, even though it seemed hopeless since we had no blood to give him, or the means we needed to give him blood. All we could do was wait and keep him comfortable. That was when I suggested my house, my parent's bed. _

_Now we sat here, on Shadow's and Omega's guess that Nick would finally wake up after three long days of suffering through his darkness and us battling our doubts. Omega stirred and looked at Nick's form with sightless eyes, listening to his breathing. _

"I am…" _He started softly and we all nodded, smiling. _

"We all are." _Scythe answered, patting Omega's shoulder. _

_I stiffened as I felt Nick's cold hand gently curl around mine. I looked at his face, hope rising in my chest. My family did the same. One breathless second passed and Nick slowly opened his eyes. I bit my lip and tears of joy spilled from my eyes as I smiled. His tired brown eyes met my silver ones and a smile graced his lips, lighting up his orbs and filling them with happiness._

"You called me Nick." _He stated, referring to when I called his name three nights ago. I laughed. _

"Well, don't get used to it Titan." _I said, punching him lightly in the shoulder. He laughed, I laughed, and soon, my parent's room was filled with laughter and the bliss of Nick's waking. _

_My heart sang as it has never sang before, for Titan…Nick…was alive!_

"You scared us man." _Scythe said after the laughter had died. Nick nodded in a way that told us he knew and he was sorry. _

"You are brave Nick, to have not allowed yourself to die, to end the misery your brothers put you through." _Omega stated. _

_Nick shook his head. _"Brave I am not. Not nearly as brave as you all anyway."

_This time, I shook my head and tightened my hold on his hand. _"No Nick. None of us could have lived through what you have, and you still found a reason to smile and laugh. That is bravery in itself."

_Nick looked at all of the faces of his new family and smiled again, his eyes filling with grateful tears. I hugged him carefully and I felt his arms go around me as he kissed my cheek lightly. When we released each other, the room was empty. He chuckled when he noticed this as well and I smirked._

"Hey Raven?" _He said his voice low and hesitant._

"Yes?"

_He looked down, as if trying to find the right words. _"I have no idea why I even care, but my brother's…"

"They don't know yet Nick. We have not told them that you are alive. It is not our place. But before you judge Joe about doing this to you…know this. We saw him tell your parents everything." _Nick looked up at me, wonder and shock filling his orbs, getting rid of any exhaustion that was in them. _"Your dad is giving us three days to tell them about you, and if they don't hear about it by then, they will assume you are dead."

_Nick looked away. _"Tell me more." _ He quietly begged. _

_I complied, keeping my voice even for his sake. _"Your parents were shocked and sad, that is all I know. Kevin has the most guilt in his eyes I have ever seen and has approached me about you. He is terribly worried and sorry Nick. Joe…he is like a living zombie. His eyes are dead and it looks like he never sleeps. He chased Omega and me the other day, not threatening, but trying to get answers. He was crying when we lost him and he whispered your name. I have never seen a more hopeless soul…"

_Nick stirred guilt in his eyes and a touch of uncertainty. _"How long…"

"Three days. Joe told your parents last night, when they got home."

_Nick nodded and a visible war was raging in his eyes._

* * *

_NICK'S POV-I LOVE WRITING THIS AGAIN! :~)_

_ As much as I wanted to believe Raven's words, my heart denied them as impossible. Joe's hate towards me can't have died in one single action…it hasn't when he almost killed me before…If I forgive him and go home, will he return back to his abusive state or will he become the brother I always secretly craved to have? I looked at the scar that encircled my arm. Did he really change? Does Joe really hate himself for doing these things to me, for scarring my heart and placing sorrow and pain in my empty soul?_

_I knew Kevin would see the errors of his and Joe's ways but I never knew when. Long before he has, I found a small place in my heart for forgiveness, but that spot is almost microscopic now. But that didn't matter. Kevin I could forgive. He only hurt me three times in the past and remained silent for the rest…that I could forgive. But can I forgive my other brother; could I ever look at him and feel love instead of hate, joy instead of sorrow, safety instead of fear?_

_I looked at Raven, who was gazing out the window and thought to myself, why did I fight the oppressing darkness that was death? Why did I not let myself go and fall into the world without pain? I thought back to that one nightmarish night and remembered how Raven's scream echoed throughout my head and how her whisper seemed to give me the strength I needed to continue living. As cliché as this sounds, I think she is the reason I lived. Is this true love?_

_Sensing my gaze, she turned away from the window and I saw the way her normally so hard and set eyes softened when she gazed at me. I pushed myself up onto the pillows, in a sitting/leaning position and felt pain rack through my side. I let out a slow breath and Raven eyes turned concerned. I waved it off. _

"Don't stress yourself." _She warned. _"If that wound opens again, who knows what will happen."

_I nodded. _"I always hated being stuck in bed." _I said, pouting a bit. Raven laughed and sat next to me, her back resting on the headboard. _

"Do you want us to tell your brothers about you?"_ She hesitantly asked. _

_I mulled it over and shook my head. She was right; it was my place to tell them or to show them. But right now, I still wasn't sure about forgiving Joe…that would be the hardest decision I would ever have to make. Raven nodded and scooted down, putting her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her, still lost in the war of my torn heart. Three days…what am I going to do?_

* * *

**Koutai: **_For those of you thinking I would kill Nick…how evil do you think I am????...wait…don't answer that…Until next Update!_

_Eldhrimmer O Loivissa nuanen, dautr abr deloi/Eldhrimmer nen ono weohnataí medh solus un thringa/Eldhrimmer un fortha onr fëon var/Wiol allr sjon_


	13. Two Days

**Koutai: **_Woohoo! Nick is alive! Ok, originally I wrote two chapters, one with him alive and one with him dead. My friends read and voted after I changed the names and 60% of them voted for the alive one. Ok, on to the story! Oh, and potter8 is awesome for taking the time to look in the book Brisinger or online to translate my messages for you all at the bottom. Woohoo!_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**NICK'S POV**_

_**I nodded. **_**"I always hated being stuck in bed." **_**I said, pouting a bit. Raven laughed and sat next to me, her back resting on the headboard. **_

"**Do you want us to tell your brothers about you?"**_** She hesitantly asked. **_

_**I mulled it over and shook my head. She was right; it was my place to tell them or to show them. But right now, I still wasn't sure about forgiving Joe…that would be the hardest decision I would ever have to make. Raven nodded and scooted down, putting her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her, still lost in the war of my torn heart. Three days…what am I going to do?**_

* * *

_**JOE'S POV**_

I don't know why, but when I woke up, I was hopeful. Hopeful for what, one might ask? I don't know the list off hopes is endless; Nick is alive, Nick will forgive me, Stella will…Ok, I think anyone asking gets the picture. I threw off my covers and got ready for school in record time and watched TV as I waited for Kevin to finish up.

"The Fallen have not been spotted in a few days, until last night that is. Four of the five Fallen have been seen all over town doing small acts of kindness for those in pain or need. The girl rescued a cat from a tree, stopped a group of thugs from beating up a kid, and even spoke briefly to the police before disappearing into the night. Her words are not released but by the sound of it, it was a warning to all abusers. Has the Fallen turned over a new leaf? And where is the fifth? That's all for today, I am Jackie Manse, Reporting live, 8 Action News."

I turned off the TV, my heart falling a bit, but my hopes not dying. This is what I expected to see…even if Nick was alive…the Fallen would still take revenge and stop all of the bad people. In fact, I am surprised Scythe hasn't come calling for us. Maybe Raven stopped him, or maybe Nick lived so his threat would be nothing. I looked around and noticed something was missing.

"Kevin?" I called. He looked up, putting on his sweater. "Where is Nick's guitar?"

Kevin looked away. "I didn't want to tell you this Joe, but Scythe came over yesterday and before he could say anything, I gave him Nick's guitar. Nick would want it in life or death…I know that much about him."

My hope died with that news. So Scythe did come…does that really mean Nick is…Nick…no…I am so very sorry little bro…where ever you are…

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_Everyone except for Raven left for school today. Shadow said he did not want me to be alone quite yet and Raven willingly volunteered to stay behind. As much as I appreciated them doing this, I wish they didn't go through all of this hassle; I've taken care of myself with open injuries all alone before, in fact, I was a pro at it. _

_Raven was taking a shower and I was still stuck in bed, strumming my guitar to a new tune that has been running through my head ever since I put on that white mask. I wrote down the lyrics in a notebook Raven had found for me and re-read them, titling it "Don't Charge Me for the Crime," and underlining what I imagined Joe would sing…a rapper, maybe Common, could do what I bolded. _

**This is life in this world  
Some things go right  
Some things go wrong  
It's just how the world can be  
People just want to be free  
Yeah...**

**The verdict came in and it said I was guilty  
I looked at the judge, "Hey America built me"  
Tried to get rich but they labeled me filthy  
Only God can judge me, touch me, feel me... **

My friend calls me at 9 o-clock  
Says, "Get the car it's time to rock"  
Never heard him speak this way

I grab the keys and hit the road  
It's all a flash but who would know  
How the story would unfold  
Don't charge me for the crime

**(Wrong place, wrong time)**  
Don't charge me for the crime  
**(Wrong place, wrong time)  
**Don't charge me for the crime

My friend gets in the car with bags  
Filled to the top with loads of cash  
Throws his pistol on the dash

Says, "I'm sorry for the crime  
That I've involved you in this time  
You're the only friend I've got."  
So don't charge me for the crime

**(Wrong place, wrong time)**  
Don't charge me for the crime  
**(Wrong place, wrong time)  
**Don't charge me for the crime

I start to freak and scream so loud  
Just like the females in the crowd  
That's when he gets in my head

You could live just like a king  
With everything you'd ever need  
All the dreams of every man  
Don't charge me for the crime

**(Wrong place, wrong time)**  
Don't charge me for the crime  
**(Wrong place, wrong time)**  
_Don't charge me... _

**Siren sound and my heart was poundin'  
I looked at my man as the cops surround him  
A teen on the scene with no objective  
The American dream can be so deceptive  
**  
Now I see the flashing lights  
There goes my future and my life  
Now I've got to do what's right

I stop the car and throw the keys  
Out of the window sets me free  
I throw the pistol in the back

I throw him out of the car  
I Say, "You know me well  
I'm not going to jail  
I'm not paying your bail"  
Believe me when I say  
They wont charge me for the crime

**(Wrong place, wrong time)**  
Don't charge me for the crime  
**(Wrong place, wrong time)**  
Don't charge me...

_Satisfied with the lyrics and the fact I finally got them down on paper, I put the notebook down and strummed a random tune…_

I'm a one man show  
I don't need no one  
I'll be fine alone  
Oh yeah  
You can call me but  
I won't pick up my phone  
'Cause I'm a one man show  
Oh yeah  
I don't need you Joe…

_I cringed as my heart protested and my mind agreed. A war within myself, this ought to be interesting…and painful. I started another song, letting my heart chose it for me. _

Can't make it alive on my own  
But if you have to go, then please Joe  
Just leave me alone.  
Cause I don't want to see you and me going our separate ways.  
I'm begging you to stay  
If it isn't too late…

_I sighed in frustration and banged my head on the headboard, hating myself for not knowing what I should do. I was Nick Lucas, I always knew what I needed to do, I always knew what was best for me…but now, when I am caught between two lives, I am not so sure…_

_My heart sings of one emotion and my eyes rain from it. Glistening over and threatening to overspill the barriers I built around my soul. Drowning in it as if it were water and holding it back as successfully as holding back the wind._

_Never before have I lost my path as blindly was I have now. Never before have I broken into many pieces of stone. Never before have I let emotions, especially this one, rule my life, change my mind, and confuse my soul. There had always been light, no matter how small, that resided in my being, but all there was to see now was total blackness of a heart torn in two. _

_The dams of my eyes finally broke, spilling my hot tears against my face as I sat, utterly alone, shrouded in the shadows of my own personal night, unseen, unheard, unloved. Lost in my own sorrow of being eternally lost. _

_I was happy Raven wasn't here, but then again, I did not wish to be alone. I did not want to make this decision alone, though I knew it was only mine to make. If I revealed myself to Joe, then my parents would come for me and force me home, or try to. And if I stuck with the Fallen, my family would be broken about a false death. _

_I heard Raven enter and I tried to compose myself…and failed terribly. She wrapped her arms around me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear._

"I don't know what do Raven." _I told her, uncaring how broken my voice sounded. _

"You may not now, but when the time is right, you will. For now Nick, follow your heart." _She whispered. _

_Follow my heart? My heart told me to go home, hear Joe out, give him a chance…but it also told me to be careful; I won't be able to take another let down on his part. They broke me enough…but then why did I want to go back?_

_And what of Raven, Omega, Shadow and Scythe? I couldn't leave them…not right now. They were the closest thing I had to an actual family. They took me in and helped me. Saved me from myself as well as Joe's rage. _

_What do I do? Why me?_

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_My heart wept for Nick as I watched him cry from frustration, uncertainty, and fear. I wished I could help him, but it was not my place. Only he can make this choice, and whatever choice he makes, I will always stand by his side, as will the others. I know Nick knows this, but right now, he is too strung up to see it. _

_I flashed back to the lullaby I used to sing to Noah when he was scared or sick. I found myself singing softly into Nick's ear. _

Cierras ya tus ojitos.

Duermete sin temor.

Sueña con angelitos

parecidos a ti.

Y te agarrare tu mano.

Duermete sin temor.

Cuando tu despiertes,

yo estare aqui.

_He pulled away and looked at me, his eyes still wet. _"What does that mean?"

_I smiled and brushed a loose curl from his face. _"It means; Close your eyes little one and sleep. And dream while the angels watch over you. I will hold your hand. And when you wake with the morning, I'll still be here. I used to sing that to my little brother before he passed away."

_Nick nodded and wiped his eyes. _"Sorry for breaking down like that." _He started. _

_I shook my head. "_Everyone, even the great Nick Lucas, has to cry sometimes."

* * *

_MACY'S POV_

School was boring today. I missed my Calculus buddy and judging by the way our teacher always looked at Nick's seat when he asked a question, he did too. I walked by Joe and Kevin and greeted them and only Kevin responded. They missed Nick too, which is odd…I thought Joe hated Nick…or did something happen? I looked around and saw the hall was empty.

I pushed Joe roughly into the lockers and he grunted in surprise.

"Macy what?"

I silence him. "Where is Nick, what did you do to him?"

So they told me, everything, and my heart broke about fifty times as I thought of my crush, lying somewhere in the ground, never to move again.

But I did not cry, though I wanted too. I looked away from Joe, letting him fall go and took a few steps away, averting my gaze. I now knew, even though I did not want too…at least, now I didn't. Ignorance is truly bliss.

"So, two more days?" I asked. Kevin nodded.

Stella walked into the hall, saw me and ran forward, and then saw Joe, but not before I grabbed her.

"Listen to Joe's story Stells, please?" I begged. She nodded, only because she couldn't break my grip.

So Joe told her and Stella actually did cry and hugged Joe tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I had no idea…I am so sorry Joe!" Stella ranted. Kevin and I left them and walked into the atrium.

He turned to me. "So Mace, how long?"

"How long what" I questioned, although knowing what he was going to say.

"How long have you had a major non-fan-girl crush on Nick?"

I acted surprised, "What makes you say that? I don't…" I trailed off as he raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "Fine…about a year ago actually, when we started having classes together and became secret friends. He told me a lot you now…more than I wanted to hear, but I listened anyway, knowing he would never tell anyone else this."

Kevin was thoughtful and silent. "What did he say?" He finally asked, but he looked torn between wanting to hear, and wanting to run.

I played with my hands. "How much he hated his life...he always asked me why him? Why did God put him in the one family that hates his guts for no reason? He also mentioned once how much he wished he had brothers that loved him…"

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_The gang came home with all of Raven's and my missed work…fun. And to think, I would be doing Calculus without Macy…_

_When I thought her name my heart ached with loneliness. I missed my best friend…the one person I had before all of this started. The only one who was brave enough to stand up to my brother's for my sake. I though of her heart shaped face, large brown eyes and her smile that could brighten the darkest of my days. I missed her…_

"Any news?" _I asked the boys. _

"Joe and Kevin seem pretty shaken up still. They told Macy and Stella and Joe and Stella are back together. That's about it. Oh and your Calculus teacher wishes you a speedy recovery." _Scythe summed up. _

_I nodded, though a bit surprised at Joe telling Stella and Macy. Shadow asked if he could check my bandages and I nodded, lifting my shirt. He gently undid the white strips and inspected my side. I finally looked down at it, pleased with what I saw._

_It was just a line, a scar with stitches. Yeah it still hurt a bit if I moved wrong or was on my feet for too long, but other than that, it was fine. Shadow smiled. _

"I think the stitches can come out in two more days. Just to be safe." _He informed us. I nodded and Omega clapped, causing Raven to giggle and Scythe to chuckle. _"In fact in to days, you can go back to school…granted in two days it's a Friday…"

"I'll go." _I finished. Shadow laughed. _

_I have two more days…will my heart make the deadline?_

* * *

**Koutai: **_Boring I know. Next chapter will be epic and I really want to write it! And the one after that too! Yay! Until next update!_

_Atra nosu waíse fricai_


	14. One Day

**Koutai: **_I really wanted to write this chapter and I really want to write the next one! Yay! On to the story!_

_Potter8 _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**NICK'S POV**_

"**I think the stitches can come out in two more days. Just to be safe." **_**He informed us. I nodded and Omega clapped, causing Raven to giggle and Scythe to chuckle. **_**"In fact in two days, you can go back to school…granted in two days it's a Friday…"**

"**I'll go." **_**I finished. Shadow laughed. **_

_**I have two more days…will my heart make the deadline?**_

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I HATE mornings. I wish I could control the sun and have it take a day off. Unfortunately, no one can do that... I dragged my butt out of bed and into the shower and then went down for breakfast.

As soon as I sat down, mom was on me like a hawk. "Joe, if Nick isn't seen today or heard from, you are grounded for five years! If he is, two years, if he forgives you, two months!"

I looked at her and saw rebel tears filling her eyes. "Ok mom. Though I deserve a lifetime in jail for what I did, even before I…"

My mom straightened up and turned her back and the mood brightened as soon as Frankie came in the room. We were trying to keep the news for him. Mom and dad left the room to get ready for the day and Frankie instantly stood, arms crossed, and glared at me. So much for keeping him in the dark, though I wasn't completely surprised he knew.

"Joe, if Nick isn't coming back, can I be in the band?"

_Way to have a heart little bro. _

"No Frankster. If Nick isn't coming back, then the band is over." I said, a new realization coming over me. _If Nick is…then JONAS…God, what have done?_

Frankie crossed his arms and sat back down, not speaking. Did I mention I hate mornings?

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

Like every morning, I drove Joe to school, and like every morning, no words were shared. Mornings were too tiring to talk. Though if Nick were here we'd talk and talk all day…well, he wouldn't, but we would try to get him to anyway. Actually, he might talk; he is a morning person after all…_Focus on driving Kevin!_

So, we got to school without any accidents…thankfully. I leaned against my locker, scanning the crowds for any sign of Nick. There was Macy and Stella and Raven and Omega and Shadow and Scythe, but no Nick. _Maybe Joe was right about the funeral thing yesterday…maybe all hope was gone..maybe Nick really was…NO KEVIN! That is impossible. You would know…If Nick was dead, I would most definitely know as an instinct…maybe…hopefully. _

Macy walked over to us, noting the lack of Nick with a sad gaze.

"Hey guys, there is this dance coming up, did you know? They have an open mike so it would be so cool if you guys would sing one song…"

I shook my head. "Not without Nick."

"Wait, a dance? When?" Joe asked, knowing Stella would want him to ask her.

"In three days, Monday night." Macy answered.

"Why is everything three days?" Joe blurted out. "I'm gonna go ask Stella. If you see sign of Nick, tell me!" He ran off without another glance.

"I do not understand my brother." I told Macy and she laughed.

"They don't understand you either Kevin of JONAS."

I allowed a small smile to grow on my face. "And if they did, where would the fun be, Macy of School?"

She smiled and looked over my shoulder and watched Raven pass with Scythe walking next to her in hushed voices. "I know! I don't like it either, but you know it won't change. Nothing you say will change his mind." They walked out of our earshot, oblivious to anyone around them.

"They were probably talking about Jaden or Ethan." I mused, using their fake names, covering their other fake names.

"I don't know Kevin…though Ethan does have an iron will…" Macy said, but it was more to herself than to me.

_She is right, Shadow does always seem to get his way…but it doesn't seem right. _The bell rang and we ran off, just barley making it to our classes.

,……,

After school, still no sign of Nick. Joe dreaded to go home but we did and found it empty with a note from our mom saying she was at a movie with dad and Frankie was at another one with friends. So much for homework coming first.

Joe and I did our homework and when we were done, we told mom and dad we were going on a walk. They responded for the couch, with the news blaring on. We stopped as we were pulling on our shoes, hearing the words.

"Yes, six children are caught inside the burning orphanage. Oh my, who are _they_? It is! It's the five Fallen! They just jumped from the top of a two story building, over the line of police and entered the burning building!"

Joe ran into the living room, jus as they replayed the footage of five figures, one in a white mask, landing perfectly and running straight to the building. Nick kicked down the door and entered first, his form quickly fading into the smoke and fire.

Joe was on his feet, one word escaping his lips. "Nick!"

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I know no one was happy when I told them we were going out tonight, with me, but I was fine. And if I spent one more minute in that bed, I would have gone insane! So, after putting on the leather jacket and white mask, we ran into the night, finishing what we started. _

_The night was quiet, stars in the sky and a waning half moon providing the little light. We walked silently in an alley, listening for any signs of life. That was when I hear it; the crackling of fire devouring wood, and the soft screams of little kids. Omega pointed the way and I led the group up the side of a building, exactly how Shadow showed me to do, and landed on the roof, running to the edge and gasping in shock. _

_The old Orphanage was on fire, the flames racing, eating up the dry wood and coughing foul black smoke into the sky. _

"Help please help! Six kids are still in their! Someone save them!" _A women from below cried. _

_Fear and shock held my feet as I held the sight. My heart raced faster than it has in a long time I felt the adrenaline start to rush through my veins like lightening._

"Let's go."_ I ordered. A hand fell on my shoulder. _

"I'm going Omega, nothing can stop me. Now, come on!"

_Without another thought, word, or look, I jumped from the roof and landed beyond the line of police and spectators like Raven told me how to land from high heights, and ran to the door, faintly hearing the footsteps of my team behind me. Without breaking my stride I kicked the door down and ran in, ripping my shirt as I did so and covered my mouth and nose with the strip by tying it around my head._

* * *

_OMEGA'S POV_

One may ask why a blind dude is going alone to the basement in a house that is set ablaze. Whoever asked that, doesn't know me. I may not be able to see, but I could do other things. And if I could see, the heat would have seared my eyes, making visibility impossible.

_There! _

I heard it, the faint shuffle of shoes and a plead for help from a young boy's voice maybe around nine years old. I also heard the fire happily singing on both sides and I smelled the smoke. I jumped over a creaking pile of wood and grabbed where I knew the boy's hand would be and pulled him on my back, running, dodging every falling debris, hearing it whistle quietly as it fell and it splinter and break as it hit the hard floor. I heard the boy whimper in fear as I climbed the stairs, knocked down the door to the ground floor stairwell, and jumped over a low gap in the fire. I ran out the door, feeling the drop in temperature and dropped the kid off by the weeping women, who thanked me multiple times. I nodded and ran to the side, where I could better hear the footsteps of my comrades as they left the building.

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_ I disagreed with Nick going in here; he may strain his side and reopen his scar. His wound may slow him and cause him to die! But more of that later! _ _I heard three screams, two in the same room and one next door. Scythe took the two and I the one. _

_I ignored the heat and how it burned my eyes and made breathing harder than changing Nick's mind. _Go Raven, you've had worse before!_ I kept saying as I knocked down the down to a smoke filled room. The little girl was one the floor, finding the one pocket of fresh air by her open window. She looked about seven and her brown eyes shone wit fear and intelligence. I grabbed her just as the wall separating this room and the one Scythe's crumbled in the middle, leaving a huge hole. _Whose bright idea was this to build this whole thing of wood? And who lit the match in an old wooden home anyway?

_Scythe was unharmed, carrying two twins, one of his back, the other in his arms and he ran straight through the flames, which coated his face in black grime and I followed, only using my lighter bone mass to jump high over the flames, only scorching my ankle slightly. _

_We made it outside, dropped of the kids and ran to Omega, and a minute later, Shadow left the building, a boy on his shoulders. He did the same thing and starred at the entrance, coughing. _

"Where's Titan? He was at the girl's room when I left! He should have been right on my tail!" _Shadow informed us, between lung straining coughs. _

_Nick…Fear bubbled in my chest like lava and tears crammed into my eyes, one falling, leaving its trail as it carved through the grime on my face and slipped under my mask. The whole building shook and more ash than ever before spewed from windows and a crash was heard, along with a little girl's scream. _

_I ran forward, but a hand fall upon my shoulder, holding me back. I would be killed if I went in there…But Nick…_

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I pointed to the guy in the white mask that was briefly shown. "That's Nick!" I jumped up and down, hardly believing my eyes. Kevin stood up and I grabbed his hands, doing a funny dance and sang. "Nick is alive! Nick is alive!"

"Yeah Joe, he is alive, and he just ran into a burning building." Kevin said. I stopped dancing. Why did Kevin always ruin my fun with logic and reality?

I sat down again and let my old friend misery back into my heart and there it had a party with his girlfriend, fear. I starred intently at the screen, watching Omega run out, whispering his name under my breath and watched him put down the kid and run to the side. I watched him wipe black ash from his nose and bit his lip.

Scythe and Raven ran out, Scythe holding what looked like twins and Raven carrying a young girl. They both put the kids own and coughed as they ran to Omega, still coughing as they starred at the entrance that billowed smoke.

A minute later, the building shook and a small crash echoed in our silent bedroom. I looked back and saw Frankie watching from my bed. Wasn't he supposed to be in bed? Wait…I guess he was in bed…my bed. I looked back at the TV and listened to the annoying news reporter's voice.

"Three Fallen are out, with four kids safe. What of the other two teens and kids?"

Shadow ran out at those words, holding the fifth child. He did the same thing the others did and was almost on his knees from coughing. He said a few lost words that caused Raven to take a step forward, only to be stopped by Scythe.

The building shook and something large fell with a crash and little girl screamed just as I my heart screamed one word; Nick!

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_The heat was intense, instantly searing into my exposed and scarred flesh. But I did not care for my own health right now, not when six kids could very well lose their lives. Raven and Scythe took the ground floor, Omega the basement, and Shadow and I went upstairs to the second floor. _

_As soon as we got passed the first few doors and up the steps, smoke almost blinded me and the heat of the flames burned my eyes, making it harder and harder to see. Blinking did nothing. And despite the cloth around my face, breathing became difficult as the fire stole the limited air this building held. I hated myself for leading my new family to an untimely death…but maybe _they _would get lucky…_

_Shadow and I split up and I saw Omega run from the building, a small boy on his back. One down, five to go. I was so happy Omega was unhurt. Though he was perfectly capable of doing this, even without sight, I still worried for him. I worried for my whole family. If one of them died here, it would be my own fault. _

_I kicked down door after door, finally hearing a cry of a girl mixed with the creaks of dying wood and the thundering of my own blood. From the corner of my eye, I saw Shadow emerge with a small boy and run downstairs, yelling that the girl was the last. I nodded and ran into her room, finding it empty. I saw from the window, Scythe running out, holding twins, all three of the painted black, and Raven on his tail with a girl on her shoulders. _

_I heard the cry again and saw the fire knock down a beam in the hall. There wasn't much time! I turned towards the noise and opened the girl's closet, her face pale and her long blond hair covering her tear filled and scared eyes. She couldn't have been over the age of six. _

_I grabbed her and held her close, untying my rag from my face and tying it around hers. Her bright blue eyes looked at me and another tear fell onto her rosy cheeks. Her arms went around my neck and I ran as she coughed once. _

_She screamed as she saw the fire. I stopped running, taking careful steps and a good thing too. The wood beneath my left foot cracked, finally giving out and fell to the ground floor. There was no way out! I looked at the gaping hole, knowing there was no way I could jump it, and looked to the burning fire that surround us, to the broken window behind me. I had to save this girl, no matter the cost on me; she is young and has the right, the need, to live and to make her own future bright. I can't let her die. _

"Do you trust me not to let you get hurt?" _I asked the girl, letting none of my fear into my voice. _

"Yes, nice man save Aleia. Aleia trust you."

_I transferred her to my back, telling her to hold on and not to let go. She nodded and I ran, straight for the broken window, to clean air. I heard a crack behind me, but didn't look and a crash was heard as the whole building shook and spewed dust and ash. I made it to the window and jumped as far away from the structure as I could, fire jumping and touching my gloved hand, and then only open air was beneath my feet and Aleia's screams in my ear. _

_I hooked one hand beneath her and used one to steady my fall, only to see the one not holding Aleia was ablaze. I landed, harder than what I was used to, but shook off all of the pain. I ripped off my burning glove and threw it to the ground, ignoring the pain of my hand and smell of burnt flesh. The ground beneath me shook violently and I pulled Aleia into my arms, just as the cloud of dust, ashes, and embers from the falling building hit my back. I hissed lowly in pain, but kept running, and kept shielding the small girl._

_I set Aleia down by the nun who was crying and embracing the other children and both of my hands covered my mouth as I coughed and coughed, falling as though a lung was coming up. I suppressed the cough long enough to ruffle Aleia's hair and run to my already running gang when the nun's back was turned. I jumped onto a police car and over the line the posted, out of camera range, and scaled the walls of another building and stopped, unable to breathe. I felt a hand on my back as I coughed up the smoke I inhaled then I straightened, my gaze finding the one camera that found us and starred at it before walking into the shadows of the night. _

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I yelled in fear as I saw Nick falling from the building, but fear turned to joy and misery turned to hope as Nick landed and ran, throwing of his glove, which was on fire, and dropped off the girl before coughing visibly and then running off screen. His white mask was now charred black and parts of it looked like it was melting. But I could only look at his beat red and gloveless hand. I saw skin was burned severely, and in some places broken and bleeding freely, but Nick didn't even glance at it. In fact, I wasn't sure he knew.

For a moment, all that was shown were the crying kids. Then the camera view changed to the top of a building, showing five figures standing, one in a partially white mask, starring directly at the camera. Nick turned slowly and was swallowed by the night.

"The Fallen just risked their lives to save these six trapped children. Maybe we were wrong about this gang after all. Their deeds in the past were harsh, but really, now I see it was to stop the abusing of other people and their violence rate has dropped dramatically ever since the fifth member joined. You've seen in first here folks. The rescue of six lives by the five we all feared. Thank you for watching this news cast."

I shut off the TV. Nick was alive, but he didn't look happy, or very forgiving…_All you can do is try Joe. All you can do is try. _

* * *

**Koutai: **_Ok, I wanna write next chapter now…Until next update!_

_Wiol pömnuria ilian, Thorta du ilumëo._


	15. Silent Game

**Koutai: **_I really wanted to write this chapter and I really want to write the next one! Yay! On to the story!_

_Potter8 is awesome and shall have an eternal supply of sugar cookies. _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**JOE'S POV**_

"**The Fallen just risked their lives to save these six trapped children. Maybe we were wrong about this gang after all. Their deeds in the past were harsh, but really, now I see it was to stop the abusing of other people and their violence rate has dropped dramatically ever since the fifth member joined. You've seen in first here folks. The rescue of six lives by the five we all feared. Thank you for watching this news cast."**

**I shut off the TV. Nick was alive, but he didn't look happy, or very forgiving…**_**All you can do is try Joe. All you can do is try. **_

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_ We got back to my house after the rescue of orphans and we all took a shower in the thankfully still running water. It felt so good to get all of the grime and ash off of my face and the restore my clothes and mask to their normal state. I went into Nick's room, aka my parent's room, and found everyone already on his bed. Boys could get clean and showered so quickly…I envy that. I walked into an argument._

"It needs a bandage, don't be so thick!" _Shadow told Nick hotly. Nick rolled his eyes and Scythe crossed his arms and Omega stared at the floor. _

"It's fine." _Nick said for what sounded like the twentieth time, waving his burnt hand. I sat on the bed and starred at the beat red and slightly bleeding right hand. I gave Nick a stern look. _

"It's not fine, and you know it." _I told him and faster than most eyes could follow I grabbed his wrist and held it out to Shadow. Scythe laughed loudly. _

"Told you." _He told the boys, who all smirked. _

_Shadow pulled out the antibacterial spray that speeds the healing process of burns, specialty of my mom because my dad liked to play with fire. _

"Now Titan, this _will_ sting. Just a warning." _Shadow informed him. Nick shrugged and told him to continue. He opened his hand and relaxed his arm. Shadow sprayed and the only sign of pain was Nick's pinky finger twitched slightly. Shadow quickly bandaged it and Nick pulled it out of our grasp and set it in his lap. _

_It was silent and I thought back to the burning building and the happy cries of the children as we saved their lives and the lives of their friends. Adrenaline still ran through my veins like liquid lightening and it made the whole thing and all of the emotions more vivid. I looked up and saw everyone smiling, their eyes bright, bringing a large smile to my face. _

"We did it." _Omega stated. _

"That we did!" _Scythe yelled, punching the air. Needless to say, we all went to bed late that night, even though tomorrow was Friday, a school day. _

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

"Nick is alive! Nick is alive!" I resumed singing, this time, Kevin and dad sang along. Mom was crying and Frankie was pouting a bit, but he was smiling at the news. I knew my youngest brother had a heart under that cool exterior.

I jumped up and down, forgetting the dilemma I now faced, but as soon as the lights turned off and I crawled into bed, it slapped me in the face.

"Hey, Kev?" I hesitantly asked silent room, hoping he wasn't asleep.

"Yeah Joe?" He responded, poking his bed out from his bunk bed.

"What will I do if Nick is in school tomorrow?" I questioned, hearing my voice shake with uncertainty.

"I don't know Joe; it is your choice to make. I have to figure out what I am going to do…Night Joe; sorry I can't help you here."

"Night Kev."

I leaned back. I had expected this answer, but hoped differently. If Nick was in school tomorrow, what in the world should I do? Approach him? Subtly tell him? Blurt it out in the hall? Ignore him? No, never again will I ignore him…So what do I do?

_,……,_

We went to school early this morning, for no apparent reason and I wished we didn't. As soon as I walked in I heard his voice.

"Yeah, I have to drop off this Calculus to Mr. Tinder and then I'll meet you there." Nick's voice floated to out ears. We ran and or quick walked to Mr. Tinder's room and saw Nick walk in, a light in his eyes that I have never seen before; happiness.

We listened to their voices.

"Ah, Nicholas! Good to see you lad! What did you do to your hand?" The teacher inquired.

Nick laughed lightly. "Good to see you to sir. And nothing bad. I was changing my guitar string and it snapped, cutting my hand. Nothing big." He lied smoothly.

"Oh, well be careful. I can't lose my ace student. Goodness, I see you are already caught up, and in one night too! You do well Nick, you do well. I will see you fifth hour then, ta-ta!"

"Bye sir." Nick laughed and walked out, a smile still on his face. He stopped in the hall and looked right pass us and fixed his guitar strap and walked pass us without a glance, like we were a part of the wall. I didn't allow my old friend anger to come and take control of me, no, not this time. This time was sorrow. Nick didn't want to be apart of our lives at all, not anymore.

* * *

NICK'S POV

_Ignoring them felt wrong, but my heart was still in turmoil about talking to them…so for once, I took the easy route and played the silent game. That was when I saw her brown head and decide to have a little fun, following her silently to her locker and walking up behind her, waiting for her to notice. She turned slowly and looked up._

"Nick! Holy crap!" _She screamed and I laughed, smiling. She smiled and laughed, grabbing me into a large hug. I put my arms around her, still laughing a bit and I held her close, happy to feel the loneliness I had without Macy disappear. She pulled back too soon and smiled at me, light dancing in her large eyes. _

"I missed you!" _We both said at the same time, causing both of us to smile again. _

"Are you ok? Joe told me everything!" _She asked, suddenly going from happy to concern in the blink of an eye. _

"I'm fine," _I told her, completely truthful. She smiled and I pulled her to the stairs and sat down. _

"Can I run a new song by you?" _I asked, needing her advice. Her eyes widened and she nodded. _"It sounds a bit weird acoustic, so just bare with me." _I warned her, and again, she nodded._

_I pulled my guitar from my back and stared strumming, aware my brothers were starring at us with eyes larger than dinner plates. _

Yeah!  
Tonight I walked into the bedroom  
You were visibly upset  
Telling me I made a bad move  
But I didn't do nothing  
You start screaming, wake the neighbors  
Now everybody's out for blood  
I didn't want no confrontation  
Because of you that's what I've got  
Well you got to chill out  
Cause baby I don't want to fight with you  
And every battle we've fought  
Just made us look like fools

_At this point, Omega came out of nowhere and started singing in Joe's voice, causing Macy to gasp in either shock or fear. I hope it was shock. _

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And then I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III  
World War III  
Tell 'em Nick!

Now your rounding up your army  
Turning all your troops on me  
Telling lies just to feel happy  
But I wont retaliate  
No

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And then I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III

Well you got to chill out  
Cause baby I don't want to fight with you  
And battle we've fought just made us look like fools

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And then I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III  
Not gonna be World War III

Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III

World War III  
World War III

_I finished and Omega took a bow and sat down while Macy clapped. Omega leaned in and whispered into my ear. _

"The others agree with your plan for the dance. When we will get the details?"

_I turned so I was whispering into is ear, so quietly that no one but Omega could hear and make sense of it. _"I'm glad. Second period break, we will meet in the atrium. Tell Scythe to tell Shadow in first hour. I'll tell Raven."

_He nodded and ran off after he bowed to Macy and kissed her hand, causing Macy to blush. I glared at him, feeling a not so best friend like flare of protection and jealousy make my heart stop. He shrugged, feeling my gaze and smirked while I rolled my eyes. _

"Nick and Macy sitting in a tree…" _He whispered too quietly for anyone but me to hear, even though he was a few feet from me. _

_I replied in a lower volume, shooting him a rather playful glare. _"Jaden, unless you hate having lips, I would shut up before I tear them off."

_Omega shook with laughter as he ran on and slid around the corner with perfect accuracy. I looked back at Macy, who looked completely lost. I smirked and shook my head and stood up. _

"I got to go relay a message. I'll see you last hour Ms. Misa." _I said, and walked off. _

"Nick?" _She called and I stopped, right in front of my brothers and turned to look into her heart-shaped face. _"I'm glad you're back."

_I smirked. _"Believe it or not, I am too Mace." _I told her and she walked off and I walked on, again not even acknowledging my brother's presences. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

I hate this so much, but I loved the fact Nick was happy, truthfully happy, not that fake stuff he did for the camera. But I hated how he stopped in front of us, so close I could hear his breathing, and he did not even once glance our way…not once. I guess I know knew what it was like for him when Joe had us ignore him…and I guess I know knew the pain and loneliness he felt, for it ached in my own heart.

I longed to reach out and grab my brother in a hug and beg for forgiveness. I looked at Joe and saw his eyes filled with hurt, and noted the absence of anger. Joe really had changed; I just hoped Nick could see it before it was too late.

"Joe, come here man!" One of Joe's bully friends shouted and I saw Nick turn out of a room with Raven next to him and I saw his eyes narrow with controlled anger as he saw what I could not. I saw Raven hold his arm like she was holding him back as Joe walked over to his buddy and I followed.

Surrounded by two guys was the nerd of the school, Neville. His glasses were on the floor and it was evident he had been beat up. His eyes filled with fear as Joe walked up and I looked into Joe's eyes and saw broken rage as he looked at Neville.

"Take a swing man!" Joe's 'friend' told him. Joe gritted his teeth and I saw Nick tense and Raven bit her lip, her own anger raging in her eyes.

Joe fisted his hands and swung around, punching his friend in the gut and flipping the over guy over his back. They both ran off, leaving one other guy, who fled without a mark. Joe knelt down next to Neville and I chanced a glance back to Nick and Raven and I saw them walking away, both breathing rather heavily and talking under their breaths. Joe picked up Neville's glasses and put a hand gently on his shoulder.

"I am not going to hurt you anymore, and I won't let them hurt you either." He told Neville, strong truth in his eyes. Neville stood up and nodded, thanking Joe quietly and ran off. I patted Joe on the back as we split up for first hour.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ Why would Joe do that? Is he really changed or is just another one of his cruel tricks and acts? Does he really care enough now to see that the people he hurts have feelings too? Did he really grow a heart in my absences? Yeah, _that's _likely…In fact, I knew I would see the day hen Kevin got his otter playing the trumpet before I saw the hint of heart in Joe. _

_First and second hour passed by in a blur and now Raven, Omega, Scythe, Shadow and I were in the atrium finishing up plans we had for the dance. _

"Ok, it's settled. Now that that is over, Nick, have you decided what you are going to do with your brother's yet?" _Shadow asked me and they all looked at me as I looked at my hands and spoke to my feet. _

"I will talk to Kevin, but I need to do it alone, but Joe follows him like a lost puppy now."

"I can do that!" _Scythe told me, an evil gleam in his eyes. _

"Non-violent please Caden. But Joe…I don't know yet. Half of me wants to believe he really is changed and to go home and forgive him, but the other half is afraid. I can't stand another let down on his part." _I told them. _

_They all nodded sadly. Raven looked around at the sad expressions and sighed. She put her thumbs in her ears, wiggled her fingers, crossed her eyes and jumped up and down making a funny noise with her tongue. We all burst out laughing at the randomness of it, except for Omega, who stood their like a statue. _

"I imagine Ali made a funny face. Maybe like this;" _He did the same thing, except ran all around and purposely ran into the glass windows and we all laughed until my sides burned and my lungs cried for air. I saw Joe and Kevin and Macy sitting on their stairs, starring at us like we were idiots. But hey, we were…in our own way. _

_The laughter died down and we all just looked at each other and we all, at the same time, made the face and jumped up and down. I never felt more juvenile and stupid, but right now I didn't care. We were having fun and that was what mattered. But the fun did not last, but the pain in our sides from laughing did. _

"Wow. OK, weird moment over." _Shadow said, walking out of the atrium and going to his locker. Raven and Scythe walked out, Scythe winked and whispered, _"No violence, I'll remember to tell them that!"

_Wait, them? _

_Omega laughed and I turned to him as he shook his head. _

"Never mind, you will find out after last hour."_He said, brushing passed me and out the door. I rolled my eyes and followed, turning to go to my locker and I was aware of Joe following me into the empty hall. _Why were the halls always conveniently empty? _I opened my locker and ignored Joe lean on his, looking into my face. I pulled a book from my bag and felt his hand on my shoulder. _

_I stiffened from the contact, unsure what to do. I did not look his way, but kept my eyes on my book's spine and controlled my quicker than normal breaths. Joe did not move his hand and my own fear and uncertainty did not die. I wanted to run, to go far away and scream until my voice died, filling my screams with the sadness, pain and anger my heart held and the frustration in my mind. I also wanted to stay and hug Joe and let it all out in the form of tears, but that would give Joe another excuse to call me a pathetic weakling and punch me again, but maybe he wouldn't do that…but maybe he would. _

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I saw the fear and uncertainty in Nick's orbs as I touched him and my heart shattered again as he tensed and froze from my contact. I shouldn't have touched him, he obviously didn't have a thimble of trust for me and was still afraid I would try and hurt him again. I shouldn't have touched him. But my hand would no move. I could not move it; for me, this was confirming Nick was alive and not a ghost…Kevin's idea…and that he really was standing in front of me, as still as a deer in headlights, but still here.

After a full minute he moved, continuing to put books into his locker and taking folder's out. His eyes were void of emotions now and focused on the simple task he was doing. I wanted to hug him, to cry out and beg to him, to tell him I really have changed, but the way his muscles tensed when I moved towards him told me it was a bad idea.

"Nick…I…" I started slowly, watching him close his bag and the way his eyes started to drift towards me.

"JOE!!! COME HERE!!!! IT'S IMPORTANT!" My friend yelled and he was standing next to the principle, who slapped his knuckles with a ruler. I looked down at Nick's eyes and saw that he was turned away from me, his locker closing and he walked away without one glance. I was so close!

I walked over to my friend and the principle eyes me and I nodded to him. "Joe, sorry to interrupt, but I need you and your brother's to sing at the dance on Monday for the open mike. Nicholas is singing a solo, as I am sure you know, and I thought it would be great for you to sing with him as a dance closure thing. Goodbye." He walked away, leaving me standing there without agreeing and thinking _wait, Nick is doing a solo?_

"So Joe, what did you do to Nick?" My friend asked me. I looked at him, feigning confusion. "You know, his right side? I saw the scar and stitches and I saw how he is ignoring Kevin and you. I ain't dumb Joe." He informed me.

"I didn't do anything to him." I lied before walking away. "And neither did Kevin or Frankie and Nick didn't do it to himself either. It was an accident."

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Last hour, the only hour Joe, Nick and I had together. Joe kept looking at Nick and Macy who were talking quietly, already done with the worksheet we got ten minutes ago and they were laughing at some unknown joke. I looked down and answered question two, covering it so Joe wouldn't copy when I felt the weight of someone's gaze on the back of my head and I saw Macy walking to the pencil sharpener. I glanced at Joe and saw him crossing out previous work and risked another glance back.

Nick was starring at me with something in his eyes I couldn't place, but it relieved me to know it wasn't anger or hate. For three seconds he held my gaze, hesitation appearing in his eyes and he looked back down, his face set with determination. I looked back and did not bother telling Joe that Nick acknowledged me. I answered the rest of the questions and finished Mr. Tinder's notes just as the bell rang. Which was a good thing because I needed to talk to Nick, like now and I couldn't have notes to finish because I am sure Nick would not wait for me to finish.

Nick hung back and so did Joe and I. Nick walked out in the hall and walked close to the wall and as soon as Joe walked out, girls screamed.

"OH MY JONAS!!!! IT'S JOE LUCAS!!!! GET HIM!!!!" About thirty girls ran down the hall towards Joe who yelled out, "Look its Kevin and Nick too!"

The girls stopped, waved sweetly and winked at Nick, who looked confused but then he smirked and shook his head and they turned to me and waved and blew kisses before running after Joe. I looked back at Nick and saw that he had disappeared. Dang it.

I walked to my locker and emptied out my bag and grabbed my homework. I closed the locker door wishing Nick would have stayed back. I looked up and jumped, clutching my chest in horror.

Nick was leaning against the lockers, looking at me with a blank face that now looked like he was holding back a laugh. He knew I hated being scared like that! And when did he get so silent and stealthy?

"Geez Nick, you almost gave me a heart attack." I told him with a hint of anger and regretted it immediately. Nick's eyes fell to the ground and filled with regret and sorrow and pain. "Nick, I didn't mean it…" I trailed off.

Nick looked up again his eyes looked like they were fighting a war of emotions.

"Kevin…I'm sorry." He whispered, his voice shaking a bit and filled with truth and remorse.

I gasped a little at his words and was confused, "For what?" I asked softly, not touching Nick because I was unsure how he would react to it, if he would trust me enough to not hurt him again like I did three times in the past.

Nick closed his eyes and spoke in a strangled voice. "For keeping you in the dark, putting you through the pain of my wrong revenge. You never did anything to deserve what I did to you. And for that I am sorry." He spoke fast, like he was afraid his voice would die or I would cut across him. Or maybe it was because he was uncertain how I would take his words.

I took a step closer to him and saw his eyes clench tighter closed and his arms tense.

"Nick, I'm not going to hurt you. Not anymore. And you don't have to be sorry. I am sorry. I don't deserve you as brother. I wish I could take away all of your pain and if I had to, I would endure it myself. But I can't Nick, so right now I am promising you that I will protest you from that kind of pain, no matter what it does to me. I am so sorry… will you ever forgive me?" I closed my own eyes, holding back tears and waited for Nick to reject me.

I felt Nick's arms come around me and his head rested on my shoulder and I opened my eyes and returned the hug, getting past the shock of this whole scene. I imagined Nick yelling at me, not hugging me. I guess I don't know my little brother as well as I hoped I did, but I liked this way better.

I felt Nick shaking slightly and I rubbed his back in circles and ran my fingers through his curls. I was glad to see that Nick did not tense from my gentle touch and that his hold on me became just a bit tighter. My heart expanded and repaired from Nick's hold and a single tear escaped my eyes and ran down my cheek and onto his head.

I whispered "Nick, I promise to be that brother you always wished for."

I felt him smile a little and his shaking died as his breathing evened out. We stayed lie this for another minute, trying to fit in 17 years of needed brotherly love into one hug. We failed a little at that, but it felt good to have Nick trust me and forgive me, even though I was still surprised about him being so forgiving. He pulled back and took a half step back, not meeting my gaze, his eyes wet and the shadow of a smile on his face.

"I like you better without the mask." I told him and he smiled, looking up at me again, his eyes void of pain and full of relief and joy. His hand went to his side as he scratched and I starred at the spot. "Can I see?" I hesitantly asked him. He looked up and wordlessly pulled up his shirt to expose a clean two inch scar with stitches still inside, and smooth skin without any bruises. It was better than what I expected, but how did it come out that good without a hospital?

"I get the stitches out today. It's a good thing Ethan's parents had him learn medical routines." Nick quietly told me.

I winced at his words. "Ouch. Trust me little bro, I have had my fair share of stitches and it is not fun getting them out." I told him, warning him in advance.

He pulled his shirt down and shrugged. "I'm sure I've had worse."

I don't know what frightened me more; the nonchalantly way he said that or the fact that he was right.

"Nick, look man, Joe feels terrible about it all. He hates himself." I would have gone one but I saw the way Nick's eyes darkened when I said Joe and I saw him become more closed off when I continued. "Nick, I am not telling you to forgive him, just to do something about him."

Nick looked up and I saw the truth in his darkened eyes. "I don't know what to do with him yet Kev." He looked down at his bandaged hand before looking back up. "Can you not tell him about this? I don't…I don't want to hurt him more by…"

"Forgiving me and not him." I finished for him. Nick nodded to his shoes. "I won't tell him but he will find out."

"I know…I just hope by then I will have an answer." Nick said, clenching his fists.

"How's your hand? It looked bad last night on the TV."

Nick looked at his hand with mild interest. "It's ok. It was worth it." He said with a small smile.

I nodded and a question formed on my lips that I am sure Nick saw because he looked at me with his eyebrows raised. Before I opened my mouth he sighed. "No Kevin, I am not. Not anymore." He told me, rubbing his arms on the spots where he wielded a nail and drew his own blood.

I sighed in relief. "One more question."

"Just one?" Nick asked in disbelief with a smirk.

I smiled. "For now. Those fans…?"

"Courtesy of Scythe so I could talk to you alone." Nick told me before I finished asking. I nodded and laughed.

"They seem like awesome friends. And your song was amazing Nick."

Nick smiled and accepted the two facts with a nod. He suddenly dropped his gaze and tensed, acting like he was still mad at me and was ignoring me. He walked around me, brushing my hand ever so slightly and Joe walked around the corner, stopping as he saw Nick walking away from me and me standing there with a dumb look on my face.

At the end of the hall Nick stopped and turned his head so he was gazing passed me and into Joe's eyes. In both of their eyes I saw pain, misery and the lack of knowledge as what to do. And then, Nick was gone.

* * *

  
**Koutai: **_Geez, sorry for the long chapter… it turned out longer than I thought. Hope none of you mind. Until next Update! _

_Du Vrangr Gata abr Wyrda _


	16. He Knew

**Koutai: **_I really wanted to write this chapter and I really want to write the next one! Yay! On to the story!_

_Potter8 is awesome and shall have an eternal supply of cookies of her choice and this time so does Silvereyed angel and Destined Jonas for translating my message! _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

"**They seem like awesome friends. And your song was amazing Nick."**

**Nick smiled and accepted the two facts with a nod. He suddenly dropped his gaze and tensed, acting like he was still mad at me and was ignoring me. He walked around me, brushing my hand ever so slightly and Joe walked around the corner, stopping as he saw Nick walking away from me and me standing there with a dumb look on my face. **

**At the end of the hall Nick stopped and turned his head so he was gazing passed me and into Joe's eyes. In both of their eyes I saw pain, misery and the lack of knowledge as what to do. And then, Nick was gone. **

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

"Are you sure you want to do this Titan?"_ I asked him as we walked the streets, masks on, sun just setting. Never before have we been out this early in masks, but Nick needed to do this and we needed to be out to pick him up in three hours. _

"I'm sure." _But his voice quivered a little and I could tell he was frightened at the prospect of going home, just to reassure his parents. Even if he was leaving in three hours exactly, it was still hard for him to think about this and much harder to do it. _

_He walked up to his door and stopped on the step and hesitated before knocking as we ran all ran into the shadows and watched. _

* * *

_NICK' POV_

_Was I ready…no I wasn't, but I had to do this no matter how much I wasn't ready. My heart fell as I raised my hand to knock and waited a second before I lowered my fist one, two, three times. Three movements of my hand never were harder, but I knew I had to do it. _

_I waited exactly 27 seconds and Kevin opened the door and I looked up, shutting out all emotions for my eyes and face._

"Nick…what are you doing here?" _He quietly asked, glancing behind his shoulder. _

"Reassuring mom mainly. But I am not staying." _I told him, taking off my mask and throwing it to the shadows my friends lurked in. Kevin looked in them and I heard mom walk over. _

"Kevin, who is it?" _She asked, finally seeing me. _"Nick!" _She pushed Kevin out of the way and engulfed me in a hug which I slowly returned. _"Nick, honey, you're safe and home!" _She cooed, dragging me gently through the door and into the kitchen, yelling for everyone to come down. _

_I sighed and leaned against the counter, waiting for the worst. Frankie and dad ran down the stairs and a second later Joe slid down the poll, only to climb back up it again. My eyes followed him but I made no comment and my mother pursued her lips but stayed silent. _

_Joe…what am I going to do? I really want to talk to him and forgive him, but my heart still aches with fear every time I see him, whether from afar or when he is in the same room. I wish I could just forget the past and move towards a happy future…if there was such a thing for me. _

"Nick!" _Dad and Frankie yelled running to me, my dad hugging me high and Frankie hugging my legs. I allowed a small smile to show on my normally expressionless face. I returned the hug to each of them and my mom pulled my dad off me. _

"Nick…I hate to ask you this, but I need proof and to make sure you are ok. Please take off your shirt honey." _I looked at her and sighed again._

_I pulled my shirt off my head and heard multiple gasps and I was never more thankful my bruises were gone. _

"Nick…" _My mom cooed again lightly tracing my many scars and running her fingers over my now stitch free scar. Kevin was right, it did hurt but hopefully I kept the pain from my face when Shadow took them out. _"Is this where Joseph…?" _She trailed off, her finger directly on my newest scar as she looked at my face. _

_My eyes were on the ceiling as I concentrated on keeping my face blank of the emotions that raged beneath my surface. I nodded and she gasped. _

"It is so clean and perfect…how?" _She asked. I did not answer. I had a feeling it I did then I would spill my soul and the emotions I was holding in. _

"I have a friend." _I answered monotone, which happened to be the first words I have spoken to my mother in about a week. I pulled my shirt back on and looked at my family. _Bad idea Nick_. I had to look down at my feet as my emotions burst from my heart with the power of a tornado and spilled into my face, showing my sadness and longing and fear. I hoped no one saw it, but I know they all did. _

"I'm sorry mom, dad." _I told them, forcing myself to look in their eyes. My dad nodded and my mom looked confused. _

"For what baby?" _She asked. I held back a wince at the pet name and was glad Scythe wasn't here to tease me about that later. _

"For leaving and for making you think I was dead." _I answered shortly, watching Kevin move next to me with a wary eye. _

_He seemed to notice my guarded gaze and sighed softly before putting his hand on my shoulder in an encouraging way. I shot him a glance that said thanks and he smiled at me, bringing a small one to my face. Again, my parents were silent and did not question the fact that I was forgiving to Kevin, but not to Joe. _

"Nick… are you ok? I mean…" _Dad started and he stopped when I looked at him, his gaze faltering under mine. _

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." _I told them, pushing truth into my voice and Kevin's hand tightened on my shoulder until it hurt. I gave him a look and he instantly let go._

"Sorry." _He whispered. I nodded and eyed my hands again. Three hours of this…could I do it?_

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

The moment Kevin opened the door, I knew it was Nick. I knew I wasn't ready to face him yet so I retreated like any coward would. I remembered his fear filled and tortured gaze he gave me at school and saw the same look on his face when he saw me tonight. Was he trying to torture me?

I heard my mom doting over Nick through the poles and I heard Nick saw only three sentences total, all of them in an emotionless voice that made me slightly afraid. Nick did not want to be here, so maybe he only came for a short visit to reassure our parent's and not to torture me. Yeah, that had to be it. I hope. I don't think my heart could take it if Nick hurt me again or ignored me more than he was now. I hated this. I just wish there was some way to prove to him I've changed and was not going to hurt him ever again.

I heard footsteps and I knew it was Nick and Kevin and I was right. Nick went straight for his bed, picked up his song notebook and started copying in songs. I guess he was over his writers block. Kevin sat down next to me and gave me a meaningful look. I ignored it, all of this time watching Nick write swiftly. Nick raised his gaze for one second and met mine before he continued writing. His gaze told me many things, but the main thing was that Nick still did not trust me; I saw the fear that dotted his brown eyes when he looked at me again.

I got up and walked to the bathroom and closed the door softly, sitting down on the toilet as I knew Nick had down many times. I let a few tears fall down my cheeks as I tried to get Nick's eyes from my mind. I tried to get his looks of pain, fear, and heartbreak out, but I could not. All of the emotions and deadness Nick's eyes have ever held came to me like a movie and I was forced to watch them all, reminding myself the whole time I was the one who caused this. I was the one that ruined my little brother's life, I was the one that almost killed him three times…I was the one that deserved this pain…

"Nick, can I talk to you?" The sweet voice of Macy Misa carried through the bathroom door and I heard Kevin walk back downstairs.

"Yeah Mace. What's up?" I heard Nick ask, his voice empty of emotions. I could almost see Macy bite her lip from the lack of…well everything in Nick's empty voice.

* * *

_MACY'S POV_

I bit my lip at the nothingness Nick's voice held and he winced at the deadness of his own voice and looked at me apologetically.

"Umm, well, it's about Joe." I saw the way Nick suddenly seemed to close and darken at the mention of his older brother's name. This was serious.

"Macy, if this is another speech about how Joe is changed and that I should forgive him already, I don't want to hear it!" Nick snapped at me, anger and an ounce of uncertainty in his voice. "Sorry." Nick added, sitting down and putting his head in his hands. "I did not mean to blow up like that Mace. It's just…"

I sat next to him and leaned on him a bit and put my arms around him. My heart thumped widely but I did not make any other move; Nick was still Raven's…for now. He leaned against me and I almost lost it.

"Just what Nick?" I asked him, knowing he needed to vent to someone that wasn't Kevin. He looked at me and for a moment I got lost in his deep brown eyes that looked of chocolate.

He sighed and spoke lowly so his voice wouldn't carry. "It's just…I am afraid…"

Shock clouded my face. Nick was scared, that was his answer, fear? "Of what?" I questioned him, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Of Joe." He answered. "Everyone is telling me he has changed but will this change last? My mind, body, soul and heart can't take another beating or let down on his part. It will be enough to…"

I looked at him, not wanting him to finish his sentence. I knew what he was going to say. "To…kill yourself?" I questioned so quietly I doubted he heard. But he had and nodded once, tears forming in his eyes.

"Enough to end my miserable existence, as Joe would want me to do. He already tried to kill me three times...if he reverts back to his abusive and anger driven state, I will know what he wants and I will give it to him. The one gift of happiness I can bring my…brother…the eternal absence of me."

I was about to say something to contradict Nick, but the bathroom door burst open and Joe ran over, pulled Nick to his feet and forced him against a wall. Fear played in Nick's eyes as Joe grabbed his shoulders and squeezed and Nick stood frozen, shock and terror all over his face. Joe's eyes were full of pain and a trace of anger and his actions scared the crap out of me.

"Joe!" I said, kind of loudly, but I didn't care and Joe ignored me, hitting Nick against the wall again.

"Don't you EVER think that Nick. Never think that!" he slapped Nick across the face and Nick looked at Joe, his expression filled with broken sadness and pain. A solitary tear crept down his cheek and Joe panted still yelling nonsense at Nick. Thundering was heard as many feet raced up the stairs.

"Nicholas Jerry Lucas, how could you even think of doing such a thing!" Joe yelled again, ad kneed him in the gut, right over Nick's new scar. Nick hissed in pain but he did not fight back. Maybe he wanted this…to die from his brother's rage.

"Joe!" I yelled again. "Stop it your hurting him!"

Joe heard me and released Nick as if he received an electric shock. He looked at his hands, realization full on his face and then he looked to his terrified and crying unmoving brother, who stood exactly where Joe had released him.

"Nick…I…I didn't…" Joe started his voice breaking. Nick side stepped around him, song book still in hand, and shook his head, his eyes filed with dead shock and heartbreak.

"I knew it." Nick whispered, tears cascading down his face. Joe took one step to Nick and then clenched his eyes closed in sobs and Kevin ran over to Nick as Nick opened a window and jumped.

Nick's parent's and I raced over to see Nick running on the ground two stories below, to a group of four figures in masks. One held out a white mask and Nick took it without breaking his stride and ran until the shadow's made him their prey.

The four below watched him run off and turned to glare at us, the girl, Raven whispering Joe's name threateningly and Scythe cracked his knuckles.

"When I get my hands on that scumbag…" He started coldly but the blind one silenced him with a hand over his mouth.

"It is not your place to set him straight." The blind one said and he turned and walked into the night, after Nick with the other guy following him.

Raven and Scythe stayed, glaring daggers and I flinched and walked away from the window, not looking at Joe and went to Nick's bed were I cried, feeling my heart shatter for Nick. His own brother…again, after Joe promised not to hurt Nick…how? Joe will be lucky if Nick can even hear Joe's name without having a dark look haunt his eyes. Then again, Joe will be lucky if Nick doesn't do what he told me he was going to do if this happened. In fact, we all would be lucky.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Am I evil or what? Until Next update!_

_Du fodhr nama abr aí fricai un hjarta _


	17. Broken and Fading

**Koutai: **_How is the New Year treating you all? _

_Chapter 15 translation: The Wandering Path of Fate_

_Chapter 16 translation: The marked name of friend and heart_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**MACY'S POV**_

**The four below watched him run off and turned to glare at us, the girl, Raven whispering Joe's name threateningly and Scythe cracked his knuckles. **

"**When I get my hands on that scumbag…" He started coldly but the blind one silenced him with a hand over his mouth. **

"**It is not your place to set him straight." The blind one said and he turned and walked into the night, after Nick with the other guy following him. **

**Raven and Scythe stayed, glaring daggers and I flinched and walked away from the window, not looking at Joe and went to Nick's bed were I cried, feeling my heart shatter for Nick. His own brother…again, after Joe promised not to hurt Nick…how? Joe will be lucky if Nick can even hear Joe's name without having a dark look haunt his eyes. Then again, Joe will be lucky if Nick doesn't do what he told me he was going to do if this happened. In fact, we all would be lucky. **

* * *

_SCYTHE'S POV_

I don't care if it is not my place; when I get my hands on that evil, insane, cold maniac Nick calls a brother…I swear I will put him through ten times the pain he put Nick through in his entire lifetime. Nick never deserved this, especially from his own brother and just when he was starting to gain confidence around him too! I mean, yeah, Nick knew this happening was a possibility, but it still doesn't dull the hurt; nothing will dull this hurt. Joe went way too far and now we had to find Nick before he did something stupid.

We all pulled out our walkie talkies we took from Raven's house and we split up, trying to find where our broken leader and friend was hiding. Raven took the house and barn, Omega the underground tunnels, and Shadow and I are running all over town, building roofs, alley ways, the park, anywhere we can go, but still we had no luck.

"Raven, Omega, Shadow, anything guys?" I asked them through the handhelds. Static at first and then;

"No"

"Nothing"

"Nope."

"Dang it. Keep looking, he may be fast but he can't have gotten far!" I screamed to them and they responded, lacking enthusiasm.

I ran forward again, out of the park and to who knows where when I saw a familiar figure running in the same direction. I picked up speed and grabbed him by the back of the shirt, forcing him to stop.

"Kevin, what are you doing?" I asked, panting slightly from breathlessness and anger.

Kevin looked terrible; his face was pale, his eyes red but determined, and his limbs shaking. But his voice was quite steady and it held such fierceness that I knew nothing I could say could deter him from his goal. "I am looking for my brother. Where is he?"

I put my hands in the air. "I wish I knew. We've been looking all over for an hour now and there is no sign of him."

Kevin gripped his hair in worried frustration. "Nick was always hard to find when he was hiding…kinda like Frankie and Hide-and-go-Seek…but that's not the point."

Kevin is weird…but he was good intentions. I nodded to him. "I know, even Omega has trouble finding your brother when he doesn't want to be found. Come on, we will need another set of eyes."

Kevin nodded and followed me, matching my step as we jogged. You had to hand it to him, Kevin was really trying to protect Nick, and I loved the fact he seemed just as angry at that demon called Joe as I was. We ran for ten minutes, making our way through the maze of allies and winding through streets. A few times I spotted Shadow leaping from roof to roof. He jumped down and landed a few feet in front of us, glaring not so nicely at Kevin.

"He's not here, but why is he?" Shadow asked, nodding his towards Kevin.

"I need to help find Nick and nothing you do will stop me." Kevin told Shadow, his voice cold and threatening.

Shadow laughed and put his hands in the air just as Omega appeared from one of the many underground entrances. "Hey Scythe, Shadow and Kevin," he said, brushing off his clothes, "and before you ask, no he wasn't down there."

We all nodded sadly. Nick, where are you?

"Guys, are you there?" Raven's voice came through.

"Yeah, we are all here with Kevin too."

"Hey Kevin. I took to the sky and no luck so far. I'll radio in if I find him."

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_I landed a few feet behind Nick and just watched him lean against the lighthouse and throw rocks into the churning water. Tears no longer ran down his face but it was evident that he had been crying his eyes out. His face was void of emotions but his eyes raged of them. Anger, sorrow, pain, deadness. The exact look I first saw him with, except this was intensified by ten fold. I walked over to him and saw what I did not before; a rope around Nick's ankle attached to a large rock. But Nick was doing nothing except tossing more rocks into the water. _

"If this is your idea in how to solve things than I guess you're not the leader we thought you were." _I said, walking up behind him._

_Nick said nothing and starred into the murky water of the old and now unused harbor, his eyes still a storm of emotion. He looked down at his tied ankle, his face giving away nothing about his thoughts on what he might do. _

"Nick, come on, you know better than I that this is not the right answer." _I told him, trying to sway his thoughts, but again, he remained silent and so did I. The only sound was the crashing of the waves against the long boardwalk and the ruffle of paper as Nick's abandoned song book opened and closed in the slight salty wind._

"Raven, anything?" _Scythe's voice asked. I looked down and replied with a quick 'no,' and still, Nick did nothing. _

"Running always seemed to work in the past…but now that people are actually looking for me, it isn't as effective."_ Nick whispered quietly, more to himself than to me. I walked one step closer to him and laid my hand on his shoulder and noticed how he tensed, even from my touch. _

"Nick…" _I started, but he cut across me._

"Just leave me alone Raven. I am a burden to all I meet so just let me rid this world of the burden."

_His words and tone stung. He truly wanted to die, to end his pain in the most illogical way possible. He really believed he was an unloved dead weight that everyone he knew had to carry. He believed himself to be worthless and unneeded. _

"No Nick, I won't leave you and I won't let you do this. This is not the only way!"

"It is for me," _came his short reply as he looked into my eyes for the first time. I hated the look of they held; there was no light, no sparkle, nothing that I could see that linked this empty soul to the happy man Nick was this morning. It was like that Nick no longer existed. _

"How can you think that?" _I yelled at him, demanding his answer and expecting a terrible one._

_He looked back to the water and threw another pebble in before answering. _"My whole life I have known nothing but pain and heartbreak, and then I met you and the Fallen. But I was never truly happy because I knew I did not belong in the gang. But I did not belong at home at either. I came to realize I don't belong anywhere in this cruel world so why even try to live in it when I will only bring myself more misery and hurt? I want to feel the nothingness that is only promised in death. Living has just become too painful and hard…my only answer is death."

_I was shocked by his answer. It made sense and there was no opening for contradictions. But this…there had to be another way…but if Nick didn't find it before this…then maybe there wasn't._

"Nick, this isn't like you at all!" _I said, allowing my rage at Joe to flow into my voice. I saw Nick tense as he heard my anger and I saw the way his eyes widened in more fear. But I kept going. _"Never once in the short time I've known you have you given up so easily! I can't believe you think this way, that you settled on the one wrong answer!" _I was shaking with fury now and Nick avoided my gaze but I knew he heard every single word of my unfinished rant. _"Well, say something, or look at me, or are you too afraid? I knew it, you are not the kind of guy I thought you were! You are not the leader without fear we hoped we were. You are not worthy of that title anymore and you're right, you don't belong in the Fallen anymore!"

_I grabbed his mask from his hand and tore of his leather jacket, unable to suppress my unjust rage. I saw tears sliding down Nick's face again and new level of broken appear in his dead eyes. But I did nothing except take a few steps back and then turn and run, flapping my wings so in a moment, I was in the air and long gone, hating myself with every down stroke I took. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

About twenty minutes after Raven's reply, we saw her running to us, tears running down her face. Instantly I feared the worst for my little brother and my heart stopped as she gave me the most heartbroken and apologetic glance a person has ever given me. In her hands were Nick's jacket and white mask.

"I…I did something bad." She started. "I found Nick and talked to him and I let my anger at Joe get the best of me. He said things I did not want to hear and I snapped, kicking him out of the Fallen and saying terrible things. I hate myself…"

She cried out, Shadow taking Nick's things and Omega bringing his hand to his mouth.

"So where is Nick?" I asked, fearing the worst. Raven looked at her feet, another sob escaping her lips.

"Probably dead at the bottom of the old harbor, under the lighthouse."

That was all I needed before I ran, top speed, in the direction of where I hoped my brother was still alive, but I knew it was highly unlikely.

* * *

JOE'S POV

_Oh god, Nick…what have I done? I don't mean it, I did not mean to get so angry…_But they were empty thoughts. What was done was done and now I sobbed, knowing Nick was out there somewhere, broken and probably trying to rid this world of himself. I locked myself in the bathroom again, hugging one of Nick's pillows close to my chest as I sobbed and banged my head against the bathroom wall.

My heart was shattered beyond repair into tiny particles of dust and each particle wept with sorrow and remorse that had enough strength to tear apart my entire being and end my existence on this earth. I knew Nick would be better of without me, but could Kevin and Frankie and mom and dad handle losing two of their sons in one night? So I willed myself to stay alive, which was harder than it seemed, especially when you are the cause for your little brother's probable death.

Nick…Why did you say those things? The one and only thing that would set me off…you knew it and said it. You casted me in a cocoon of fear and brought out my anger…

Nick…

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_Why am I still alive? The tears of my broken heart and of the pain I was promised that I would never feel again streamed hotly down my frigid face and my heart gave of an incredible amount of pain every time I found the courage to take another breath. But my courage was fading to my distress and ache of Joe and Raven's last words. They were both right and Joe was always right. I was a pathetic loser and weakling, a burden all must carry, worthless in every aspect of my being. _

_I forced myself to my feet and dragged the rock I was bound to so it sat on the edge of the boardwalk and closed my eyes, savoring the last few breaths of air I was about to take. I was alone on this walk, as I was in this world and no one but myself stood in the way of that I was about to do. I searched and searched for another way to rid myself of this pain and found none. Fighting against Joe was the next option, but it only brought us both to be more broken and it would only delay my fading, which was inevitable. I took my last breath, not too deep; I did not want to prolong my life longer than needed. And then, I pushed the rock over the edge and jumped, landing in the water with a rock and heavy heart dragging me down and before my head was submerged I thought I heard someone call my name._

_But no one in their right mind would care enough to call my name so it must have been my hopeful mind deceiving me as I sank down to my fate and I closed my eyes and somehow tears still fell and were lost in the cloudy depths of my quickly coming death. I did not feel the cold current of waves as I was dragged further from the light of life above, I only felt the depression that clouded and clumped in my entire being. _

_I felt something hit my face lightly and I jerked my eyes open to see Kevin holding onto me, worry and love and disappointment in his orbs and I looked down to see Scythe with a knife, cutting off the rope that attached my ankle to the thing that kept me and them sinking._

_I closed my eyes, wishing with all of my throbbing heart that they would let me go and die in peace. Kevin tapped my face again and I opened my eyes, not bothering to hold back my wish of him leaving. Kevin's eyes widened and he shook his head, grabbing onto me even tighter and I felt the weight leave my ankle as Scythe succeed and he grabbed me from behind and Kevin and him dragged my unmoving body back to the surface where I would just face more pain and sadness. _

_We broke the surface and instantly I was pulled up by Shadow and set down, not being let go of, and then Kevin and Scythe were helped up. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in them, never wanting to see the eyes of those who wouldn't let me go. Sobs racked through my shivering body and I let them out, new tears freely falling and increasing the shaking of my shoulders. _

_I heard Kevin say my name with such disappointment that I almost threw myself over again, but I knew that would be in vain because they were all expecting it. I heard Raven whisper an apology and I felt someone drape a jacket across my back and pull me close. I still was unresponsive, too lost in my own horror of my heart ache to care what was going on around me. I still wished I was lost below the surface of the waves, welcoming the dark embrace of death. _

* * *

**Koutai: **_Ok, this chapter was based off a dream and an experience my friend went through. Don't judge her or me for writing it. But still, what is it with me trying to drown Nick lately? Geez…ah well, Until Next Update! _

_This is possible the third to last chapter…just fyi. _

_Ach neo eitha orono ie wilae yauna onr lifa_


	18. Change of Heart

**Koutai: **_Hi!!!! Ok, form now on, no more trying to drown Nick. I will stick to poison, guns, knives, fire…yeah…one or two swear words in this chapter…sorry_

_Chapter 16 translation: The marked name of friend and heart_

_Chapter 17 translation: Do not go or I will take your life_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**Nick's POV**_

_**I closed my eyes, wishing with all of my throbbing heart that they would let me go and die in peace. Kevin tapped my face again and I opened my eyes, not bothering to hold back my wish of him leaving. Kevin's eyes widened and he shook his head, grabbing onto me even tighter and I felt the weight leave my ankle as Scythe succeed and he grabbed me from behind and Kevin and him dragged my unmoving body back to the surface where I would just face more pain and sadness. **_

_**We broke the surface and instantly I was pulled up by Shadow and set down, not being let go of, and then Kevin and Scythe were helped up. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in them, never wanting to see the eyes of those who wouldn't let me go. Sobs racked through my shivering body and I let them out, new tears freely falling and increasing the shaking of my shoulders. **_

_**I heard Kevin say my name with such disappointment that I almost threw myself over again, but I knew that would be in vain because they were all expecting it. I heard Raven whisper an apology and I felt someone drape a jacket across my back and pull me close. I still was unresponsive, too lost in my own horror of my heart ache to care what was going on around me. I still wished I was lost below the surface of the waves, welcoming the dark embrace of death. **_

* * *

_SHADOW'S POV_

_ I watched Nick and Kevin from a short distance away, letting them share a moment as brothers instead of enemies. I watched Nick remain still as he sobbed his heart out and I watched Kevin's own tears fall as he held Nick close and gently stroked his wet curls. Nick was finally broken entirely, after all we did to help him, Joe had to come and ruin it. Shattering Nick's new confidence and his repairing heart. How could someone do this to one he supposedly loved, how could one do this to their own brother? Pushing him over the edge of insanity and pain until the only option left for them is suicide?_

"This is all my fault." _Raven whispered, kneeling on the cold rocks and not even trying t hide her tears. _"When I found him, he wasn't doing anything, but after I got angry and yelled…I made him do this, I took away the last place he had to go. This is my fault."

_I sat next to her and put a hand on her shoulder as Omega hugged her and Scythe kept watch. _"It may be your fault in a small way, but most of the fault lies with Joe. You are not the one Nick will blame, but you are the one he will forgive. I don't know if Nick will ever even look at Joe now. I know I wouldn't. Trust me Raven; this is not your fault."

_Raven nodded and whispered her thanks and she looked over to Nick and Kevin, her eyes full of heartbreak from the scene and memories. _"Not one of the girls and guys we have taken in has lived because something like this happened. Not one, except of Nick." _She stated quietly and we all nodded at her, ignoring the many memories of past family members covered in their own blood or blue from the lack of air. _

"Nick, please talk to me bro." _We all heard Kevin beg as he placed his chin on Nick's head. We could not see Nick's face but judging by the way his shoulders were tense and his neck tightened, he was still caught in the darkness of his heart and the sorrow still coated over his mind as his soul broke almost beyond repair. _"Come Nick, its not all bad. Joe will come around, Macy and I will make sure of that and I am sure Scythe will help too."

_A small and jerky laugh broke through Nick's sobs and Kevin smiled at the small accomplishment of drawing Nick away from his pain enough for him to chuckle. Nick lifted his head from his knees but did not let go of his death grip on them. _

"I'm sorry Kev." _His broken voice was barley heard over the whisper of the waves and the brush of the wind. _

_Kevin responded by just holding Nick closer, and this time Nick let go his knees and latched onto his eldest brother. _

"Just don't do it again. Please don't." _Kevin asked Nick, shifting so he was looking into Nick's wet and dead eyes. _

_Nick shook his head. _"I won't. I promise." _His voice shook still and his eyes still rained but in them held truth and regret of his actions of the past and he turned them away from Kevin._

"Thanks Nick. And I am sorry I wasn't up there to stop Joe." _Kevin told Nick, his own regret in his eyes. _

_It was Nick's turn to shift so he was looking into Kevin's eyes. _"It's not your fault." _Nick informed Kevin, his voice soft and comforting. _

_Kevin smiled at his little brother and looked to the water that could have taken Nick's life. Raven stood up and walked over and Nick raised his still hurt filled and wet gaze as he regarded Raven's tear streaked face._

"Nick, I should have never said those things to you. I should have never taken away your new family. I let the anger I bottled up from Joe's actions to you get the best of me. I spoke without thinking and acted wrongly. Will you ever forgive me?"

_Nick looked at her and blinked his eyes soft. He smiled, or at least tried to because the effect was ruined by his tears, and nodded. _"Of course Raven. I forgive you."

_Raven smiled and bit her lip. _"Can I tell you something? I have never told anyone this, not even Omega, Shadow or Scythe." _Nick nodded and Raven took a deep breath. _"My real name is not Raven. My little brother gave me that name the night before he passed. My name is Yana."

_Nick shook his head. _"No, your name is Raven. It matters not what you were called in the past, but who you've grown into. You are Raven."

_Raven knelt and hugged Nick briefly before she stood and he leaned back against Kevin. Kevin looked at Raven with a small smirk of approval and his eyes will filled with acceptance. I got up and Scythe and Omega followed as he stood behind the brothers and just watched the stars. Every so often Kevin would look at us, his eyes always full of thanks and I finally met his gaze briefly, smiled and nodded. He returned the smile before looking at his watch and he yelped, causing Nick to jump in fright. _

"Sorry Nick." _Kevin hurriedly apologized, pushing Nick off of him gently and standing up, pulling his jacket straight and looked down at Nick, who was still sitting on the rocks. _"I have to go. I've been gone two hours."

_Kevin, who was to busy fussing over buttoning his jacket, missed the way Nick lowered his eyes and looked away. Uncertainty and new tears in his eyes. I looked to Raven and Scythe and Omega and they all nodded, knowing that tonight, Nick would need more than his friends, he would need a brother, and no way was he going home. _

"Umm Kevin?" _Raven started hesitantly. I watched Nick as he watched the moon, which was still low enough in the sky to see without looking up. I could see the way he was trying to hold back his emotions and keep a straight and brave face, but his mask of fake emotions failed every time he blinked._

"Yeah Raven?" _Kevin asked, finally looking at her. Raven said no more, just looked down at Nick with sad eyes and Kevin got the message. His mouth formed a small 'O' and his eyes seemed to be full of indecision and Nick shifted briefly showing Kevin his eyes and face and Kevin sighed, making up his mind. He knelt back down next to Nick, who was unresponsive, and put his arm around his shoulder._

_Kevin whispered; _"Nick, do you want me to stay with you tonight? I'll happily do it for you little bro."

_Nick turned to face Kevin, his eyes full of thanks and he nodded twice before returning his gaze back to the water. _

"Ok, let me just call home, so our parent's don't worry…and I want to yell at Joe." _Kevin told us and I nodded in agreement. He walked a few steps away and Omega sat next to Nick, not touching him or saying anything, but rather just letting Nick enjoy his silent company. Nick turned a little to him and smiled before looking back at the moon Omega couldn't see. _

"Hey dad. Yeah, I found him. But the thing is, he is really torn up about this and I can't leave him tonight…Ok, thanks dad. Put Joe on will you?" _Kevin glanced down at Nick, obviously waiting for Joe to grab the phone. _

"Hey. Yeah I found him. No thanks to you. I don't want to hear it Joe! I found him trying to kill himself, because of you! What were you thinking? After the promise you made to me and yourself…You disgust me." _Kevin paused as Joe was pleading his story and I heard him sob lightly. I looked at Nick to see him and Omega both looking at Kevin, admiration in Nick's eyes and Omega's face was blank as he listened to Joe's voice. _"Fine Joe, but he may not take the phone and he may not talk either. Hang on."

_Kevin put the phone away from his ear and covered the mouthpiece. _"Nick, you don't have to but Joe wants you to listen to him."

_I watched Nick stare at the phone, his face blank but his eyes raged with many emotions like anger, hurt, sadness, and doubt in his eyes. But after a total of ten seconds, Nick nodded and held out his hand, standing up. _

"Ok Joe, Consider yourself lucky. Here is Nick." _Kevin gave him the phone and Nick walked a few paces away, listening to Joe rant and Omega plugged his ears, giving Nick and Joe privacy. After two minutes of silence Nick paled and Kevin looked concerned. _

"YOU BASTARD!" _Nick screamed and slammed the phone shut, visibly shaking again and tears of anger coursing down his face as he strangled the phone like it was Joe's neck. _

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I took the cold piece of plastic and walked a few steps away. _

"Nick, I am so sorry! I wish I could say this to you in person and I will if I ever see you again. You have all of the right to hate me! I hate myself. It's just…what you said about…you know, killing yourself, it freaked me out Nick. I should not have acted as I did, I should have hugged you and begged you to forgive me and to not do that, but its too late…I am so very sorry!"

_He sounded sincere enough and I was about to talk when I heard Macy's voice in the background. _"Hey Joe, can I talk to him?"

"No! I am not done!" _He shouted at Macy, anger in his voice. I stopped in shock. What did Macy do…nothing. Why was Joe turning his anger to her?_

"Ok, can you give me the phone when you are done?" _She asked politely and Joe spat fire at Macy, calling her names like Bitch, phone hog, person-that-won't-leave-him-alone, and so on. Macy gasped in shock and I heard the sound I knew well, a fist hitting flesh and Macy cried out in shock and then Joe screamed, one octave higher than he should have been and Macy ran from the room, crying. _

_I heard Joe whimper and start talking into the phone again, his voice still pained. _"Nick I…"

"YOU BASTARD!" _I yelled, unable to control my voice and anger and I slammed the phone shut and wasn't even aware I was strangling it until Kevin came over and pried my fingers from it. _

_I clenched my now phone free fist and closed my eyes, trying to hold back the waves of anger that flowed through my heart stronger than any tsunami and I felt new tears fall, but now they were of anger as well as sadness. Macy didn't do anything and yet that demon hit her and called her unforgivable names. And just when I thought I could forgive him. He was mental and insane and cold and…my brother. _

"Nick, what did Joe say?" _Kevin asked his voice calm though I knew his eyes would be murderous and sad. _

"It's not what he said, but what he did." _I answered and I heard Kevin breathe out in confusion. _"Macy was still there and asked him if she could talk to me when he was done. That demon turned his anger on her and hit her." _I spat out, finally opening my eyes. I saw Raven look rather jealous but whatever, Macy was my best friend. _

_Kevin's eyes widened in shock but then he chuckled and I looked at him in shock and confusion. _"What is funny about Macy getting hurt?" _I demanded and everyone exchange glances behind my back._

"Joe messed with the one girl that will fight back and if I know Macy, she would have hit him in Joe's one weak spot." _Kevin forced out between chuckles. And small smirk appeared on my lips and I shook my head. _

"Yeah, she did do that. And you are insane." _I said to him and Kevin straightened, his eyes still bright. I shook my head again but I felt the laughter still there and I felt proud of Macy for hitting back. Joe deserved it. _

_I walked over to one of the many underground entrances, the one I used to get here, and I opened it, Omega climbing in first and I followed Raven and Kevin followed me with Scythe bringing up the rear. Kevin exclaimed in fright at the complete blackness of the tunnels and I remembered that Kevin was afraid of dark tunnels…yeah that is one nightmare I will not go into. I grabbed his hand in a reassuring way and I felt him put his free hand on my shoulder. I focused on Raven's footsteps and followed them and in six minutes, Omega arrived at the house exit and Raven handed me my white mask, which I took, but did not put on. _

_Omega opened the hatch after listening for noises and climbed out. When Kevin was out he gasped at the house we now call our hideout. I led him up to my room and threw him a large shirt and sweat pants that Raven had bought with her dad's spare money before I joined the group. I grabbed my own pajamas and looked at Kevin as I shivered slightly, the cold of the water finally coming to my attention. Kevin did not notice. _

"You shower first Nick. I have to think." _Kevin informed me and I nodded and went wordlessly into the bathroom. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Joe…what am I going to do with him? I agree with Nick calling him a demon but I can't bring myself to hate him. I starred at the closed door Nick was behind and sighed, unable to come up with an answer. It took Nick seven minutes total before he was done and he came out and sat on the bed, inspecting his hands with thoughtful and tired eyes.

I hurried, not wanting to leave Nick alone for too long and was done in five minutes. I came out to him looking out the window, his eyes filled with sorrow at memories. I walked over to him and hugged him from behind, not missing the way he tensed from the unexpected contact.

"Don't think about Nicky. It will ok."

Nick turned and looked at me with a small smile on his face. "Don't call me Nicky."

I smirked. "Fine Nick J."

"Better." Nick commented before letting his smile die and his previous look returned.

Nick closed his eyes for a second and ran his fingers through his almost dry hair. He walked over to the bed and sat down near the pillows, knees to chest and head resting on knees. I walked over to him and sat down with an arm around his shoulder. After a moment, Nick's eyes watered again for some unknown reason and I pulled him into anther hug, which he instantly responded to. I hated Joe for breaking Nick like this, but I didn't hate him because I understood why he flipped, but not why he resorted to violence yet again.

There was a knock on the double doors and Nick tried to compose himself and failed, still holding onto me.

"Come in." He called, a bit broken sounding. Raven walked in, wearing a pale green nightgown.

"Kevin, if you want you can sleep in here or there is an empty room right next door to the left. And you have to…"

"I promise I won't tell anyone about this place." I told her and she nodded, looking relieved. She did not enter the room and did not turn around either.

"Ok, Night guys."

"Night Ray." Nick responded and Raven smiled a little and walked out backwards and closed the door.

I laid back a bit on the many pillows and pulled Nick down so his head was one my chest and he was on his side, his arms still around my stomach and lower back. "What are you thinking about Nick?" I questioned him, wanting to know why he was crying softly.

"Nothing much. I just don't know what to do anymore. Joe is making it really hard for me to think about forgiving him. He hurt me and now he hurt Macy. What is wrong with him?" Nick whispered, a bit angrily.

I stroked his curls at the base of his neck and sighed. "I don't know Nick. I wish I did know and I wish I could help you, but I can't. I don't have the answer."

Nick nodded against my chest and my heart let out a few tears as I realized that Nick was truly alone for this decision. I could not help him and neither could Raven, Scythe, Shadow or Omega. Joe could try and make it easier for Nick to chose, but so far he was doing a crappy job.

Nick yawned and shifted just a bit before closing his eyes. I smiled at him and continued to caress his curls and my other hand was resting on his arm that was across my stomach.

"I love you Kevin." Nick whispered and I was in shock at those four words. Nick never told me or Joe this unscripted and now that I thought of it…I never said that to him, even with a script. I needed to fix that.

"I love you too little brother."

* * *

**Koutai: **_One word: Awww!!!!! Lol, Until Next Update!_

_And I lied; there are more chapters…maybe about two or three more!_

_Eka weohnata néiat haina ono, fricai onr eka eddyr._


	19. Weeping Hearts

**Koutai: **_Hi!!!! Ok, from now on, no more trying to drown Nick. I will stick to poison, guns, knives, fire…yeah…_

_Chapter 17 translation: Do not go or I will take your life._

_Chapter 18 translation: I will not harm you, let us be friends._

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

**Nick nodded against my chest and my heart let out a few tears as I realized that Nick was truly alone for this decision. I could not help him and neither could Raven, Scythe, Shadow or Omega. Joe could try and make it easier for Nick to chose, but so far he was doing a crappy job. **

**Nick yawned and shifted just a bit before closing his eyes. I smiled at him and continued to caress his curls and my other hand was resting on his arm that was across my stomach. **

"**I love you Kevin." Nick whispered and I was in shock at those four words. Nick never told me or Joe this unscripted and now that I thought of it…I never said that to him, even with a script. I needed to fix that. **

"**I love you too little brother." **

* * *

_RAVEN'S POV_

_I woke up and got ready for the day and of course, was the first one up. I was so glad today was Saturday. After getting bored from wandering around the house for about an hour, I glanced at the clock and saw it read 9 am and decided to check up on all of my family…is that weird?_

_Omega was up, sitting by his open window, just letting the air hit his face and the melody of the singing birds float to his ear. He wore a scowl, like he was in deep thought and he turned his head to me as I sat down next to him. _

"Anything wrong?" _I asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder. _

"Last night. Nick got over it way too quickly. The amount of shock he went through just seemed to vanish after he screamed at Joe. I can only think of two explanations why that is."

_I waited for him to continue but he did not. _"Why do think that is? It could be because Kevin decided to stay with him."

_Omega shook his head. _"That would help but it wouldn't make the shock vanish. Either Nick has felt this kind of distress many times before, which I highly doubt, or he is acting…ask Shadow about it."

"Acting?" _I asked. Omega was right though. I was worried about this. Nick should not have gotten over this amount of alarm and his attempted suicide so easily. _

"Yes, acting. We all know he can do it. He lied and acted for years about his and Joe's relationship. But the real question is why would he cover this up? It will only make it worse and I know Nick knows that because he told me that in school one day. So why?"

_I shrugged, stumped at the oddness of it and Omega lapsed back into thoughtful silence. _"I check in on him and Kevin in a minute." _I said and Omega nodded and I left the little room and heard Scythe snoring behind his door and Shadow walked out of his room and nodded to me tiredly before going downstairs._

"Hey Shadow!" _He stopped and looked curiously at me. _"Any theories?" _I asked him, knowing he would know about what I was asking him about. _

"Two. One Nick is acting and two, sometimes shock subsides after the experience, but it comes back with a trigger of some sort." _He walked the rest of the way downstairs without another word. _

_I walked to the double doors and saw the room I told Kevin he could have was empty so I assumed he was still with Nick. I did not knock, just in case the silence the room held meant they were still asleep. I just opened the door a crack and peered in and smiled. _

_Nick was lying on his side using Kevin's chest for a pillow and his arms were wrapped around Kevin in a hug. Kevin opened his eyes as he heard me open the door a bit farther and smiled softly at me and out a finger to his lips before gesturing me to come in. _

"How is he?" _I mouthed, flicking a finger towards Nick. _

_Kevin looked down at Nick and brushed a stray curl from his face before looking back at me. _"Better than before." _He mouthed back and I nodded sitting lightly on the bed to not wake Nick. _

"I'm worried about him, as is Omega_." I whispered quietly and Kevin nodded. _

"I know; I am too. He shouldn't be this calm about last night." _Kevin whispered back and it was my turn to nod. _

"Omega has two theories and Shadow has one as well. One is that he is used to his kind of pain, which is unlikely, and two, he is acting, or three, sometimes shock can fade but come back with a trigger."

"I'm going for acting or the third one. But why would he hide this if he is acting?" _Kevin questioned, looking back down at his little brother who shifted slightly under Kevin's and mine gaze. I shrugged, wishing I could answer this but knowing only Nick held the answer. _

_We watched Nick for a minute, who stirred again and cracked open his eyes and blink a few times in the bright light of the sun. I smiled at the cuteness of it. Nick untangled himself from Kevin and sat technically upright and rubbed his eyes. _

"Morning sleepy head and don't worry, you aren't the last one up. Scythe is still snoring." _I said to him, with a hint of a laugh._

_Nick smirked but it did not reach his eyes. _"Morning." _He replied in a quiet voice. I looked over to Kevin and he nodded. _

"Nick, can we talk to you for a minute?" _He hesitantly asked. Nick looked at him in confusion and nodded. Kevin looked at me, unsure how to start this and I sighed, knowing exactly what to say because I have gone through many of these conversations with new members before Nick. _

"We're worried about you Nick." _I stared and his gaze flicked to me and I paused, seeing the confusion, sadness and pain in Nick's eyes. Maybe he wasn't acting. _

"Why? I mean, other than the obvious…" _Nick trailed off, his voce breaking a bit and Kevin started rubbing Nick's back._

_Omega and Shadow walked in, hearing our voices and Nick straightened at the sight of more people and fixed his hair a bit by running his fingers through it. Though I thought that pointless since Omega was blind and Shadow's normally short and spiked hair and falling everywhere over his face. _

"We are worried because you seem so calm, and in your situation, you should be far from calm and more in distress." _Shadow said, sitting at the foot of the bed and Omega stayed at the doorway, his sightless eyes on Nick and Nick averted his gaze, like Omega could actually see it. _

_Nick sighed and played with his hands, kind of like he was air drumming to a song only he could hear. _"I'm fine." _He said defiantly but we all crossed our arms and looked skeptically at him and Omega bounced to the beat of Nick's air drumming and looked sad when Nick stopped. _"Alright, I'm not fine. But it won't do any good to break down so why even do it?" _Nick questioned, looking up at us all. _

_I held back a wince as I saw the haunted look Nick's eyes held from holding back the pain and Kevin did too. _"It won't help if you hold it in either. It's ok to show emotion Nick, we all do it and we won't judge you about it. If I was you, I would be crying and not trying to be strong, because I know when I get all of my hurt out, I will feel better."

"I am sick and tired of crying." _Nick stated, looking back down at his hands._

"How else will you feel better then? Because we both know that holding it in will do more harm than good." _Omega questioned. _"In fact, you told me that the first day we had school together."

_Nick was silent as he looked for the one answer he would never find. After a minute he sighed angrily and gave up, leaning back on the pillows. Omega smirked, happy his point had gotten across and he and Shadow walked out of the room, saying they were going to wake Scythe when really they were just giving Nick, Kevin and I privacy to talk. _

_Nick was silent and his eyes were closed as he was lost in thought about something he obviously didn't like. His face had hints of pain and sorrow and when he opened his eyes, they were glistening with tears. _

"I can't do this." _He stated, getting off the bed a grabbing some clean clothes, courtesy of my parent's washer and dryer and underground well. _

"Can't do what, Nick?" _Kevin asked, but Nick ignored him and disappeared in the bathroom, locking the door behind him. _

_Kevin turned his scared, sad and questioning gaze towards me and I shrugged, though I have seen this kind of behavior many times before, and there was only one ending I knew of._

* * *

_MACY'S POV_

Oh, Joe makes me so mad! It's no wonder Nick took off and hasn't forgiven him! Joe is a time bomb ready to blow and he needs help! But I am never going to help that cute, insane, funny, cold hearted, weirdo ever again! I wanted to punch him so hard he wouldn't just scream like a girl, he would be one! I wanted to hit him so hard that it would make his children's kids dizzy and have a bruise!

Anger was an out of control hurricane in my heart as I ran through the park, trying to work off excess rage, and failing. I came to a stop where Nick showed me his arm, all covered in bruises and scars and I collapsed on the bench, a tidal wave of tears replacing the anger.

I knew Nick was alive but I also knew he was broken from Joe's actions. I swear, that boy's best friend has to Darth Vader…or..or…Lord Voldemort or something! He was like a Romulan member…except maybe less evil…But that is beside the point! Joe is a terrible person and brother to Nick and I think I need to hit him again!

So my feet carried me back to the Lucas house and I ran through the door, pass Mr. and Mrs. Lucas and upstairs before I can to a dead halt. Joe was lying exactly where I left him last night, the phone next to his ear and tear marks on the carpet.

"Joe?" I asked, kneeling down beside him, my anger evaporating instantly.

"Macy, I am so so so so so sorry." He whimpered, not even looking at me. "I am the worst and most twisted brother and friend in the world. What is wrong with me?"

I sighed and put my hand on his shoulder. "You forgot to mention cute, funny, and worried." I told him, but he shook his head. "Look Joe, I can't blame you for blowing up like that, but the violence has got to stop."

"I know." He said. "I already set up appointments with the school violence councilor. I talk to her in an hour…Will you come? For support?" He begged. "I don't think I can do this by myself and Kevin and Nick won't help me, or even look at me after all I've done."

"You don't know that Joe. They _are _you brothers, no matter what. They will see that you have changed, but only if you show them you've changed, permanently. And yes, I will come. Now get up and dressed!" I ordered him and I kicked, not literally, his butt into shape and with ten minutes to spare.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_I stepped onto the pouring hot water of the shower and clenched my eyes closed, unable to stop thinking about Joe's rage and the feeling's I was trying to push back. But it kept coming. The fear and anger in Joe's eyes as he slammed me into the wall, the words he yelled still rang in my ears and my new bruise from where he kneed me throbbed as the water hit it. I felt my broken heart, which I tried to hide; shatter again as I relived those words and a new kind of pain entered my mind. I felt alone and wasted and pathetic and wrecked and I felt useless. Nothing could stop those feelings, not Kevin, Raven, Omega, Scythe or Shadow and Joe proved to me he would only worsen it. _

_Joe…I hate him but at the same time…he is my brother. I can't not forgive him and yet I can't bring myself to forgive him. I have no idea what should be done and I know I am the only one that can make this choice. I have never been more alone before and with such an important choice. I don't know what to do, I am losing my right to wrong and I am frightened that I won't be strong. Why is this so hard?_

_I starred at the many scars that adorned my arms and saw the very moment every scar, even the ones I made, was gouged forever into my skin, telling a story I did not want to re-read. I traced the scar with encircled my arm and then I brushed over the first one my own hand created and I pushed down the urge to make another, convincing myself that I did not need another mark. But at the same time, it may make this pain leave as it did before. _

_No Nicholas. It won't help, not in the long run. Don't even think about marking yourself as carelessly as Joe did in the past. You are better than that, you don't need it and you don't want it. _

"Nick? You ok?" _Kevin's voice floated there the door and was muffled by the water. _

"I'm fine Kevin!" _I snapped and instantly hated myself for saying it so meanly. _

_I was pushing away the only person in my family who actually knew everything, the one person who could help me…as well as Joe. And I wasn't doing it on purpose. What is wrong with me? _

_I turned off the shower and became aware I was crying. I ignored my tears as I dried off and put on my clothes, but they soon became too hard to ignore and impossible to stop. Everything was going wrong in my life and yet I promised Kevin and myself I would keep living it. I wish I never made that promise. I lost my path and I knew I would never find it. I would always be alone and broken and afraid. This is now my life, this is now me; a broken wreck of tears and heartbreak. _

_I collapsed on the toilet seat as I had done many times in the past and ignored Kevin's calls through the door as I sobbed silently, letting myself get whisked away from the tidal wave of sadness and fear. Joe's torments and apologies ran through my head, melding together until two became one and one became a jumbled mess of incoherent emotions and words. I relived through every punch, kick, threat, scar, yell, every lie and lost sorry and every tear. I again lived through it all and I couldn't hold it back as I could in my history. And like I was then, I was unaided, no one was there to help or offer a hand or smile, I was always left bleeding and whimpering on the floor like a shot and unwanted puppy. _

_I heard, but did not register the lock clicking undone and I heard Kevin say my name softly but I was too long gone in memories to care. His arms came around me and he gently pulled me to the floor and embraced me, but I couldn't move, my grief was too much. _

_I saw last night again, going from my words to Macy, to Joe hurting me, to Raven's anger, to my attempted death, to Kevin being there for me, to Joe's words before he hit Macy, to suppressing everything and trying to be strong, to right here, right now. And it suddenly seemed like too much again. But according to Raven, after this, it would be better. I found myself hoping with all of my almost dead heart that her words were true, that after I got through this gut wrenching pain and rain bringing sadness, it would be ok. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

It scared me when Nick didn't answer me after he turned to shower off and ten minutes went by. Raven unlocked the door and left when she saw Nick, sobbing silently on the toilet seat. My heart broke but I was also happy; he was finally letting it out instead of holding it in.

"Nick…" He gave no sign that he heard me so I just walked over and pulled him from the toilet seat and onto my lap, holding him tightly, trying to draw him from his pain. And for five minutes, he didn't move. And then he unwrapped his arms from his knees and wrapped them around me and that was when I knew he would ok.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Yeah…had to be done and I keep getting more ideas so this story may not end for a few more chapters still. Yeah…Until Next Update!_

Iet _blödh un wyrda weohnata waíse vardo frá zar'roc._


	20. Uncertain

**Koutai: **_Hi!!!! _

_Chapter 18 translation: will not harm you, let us be friends._

_Chapter 19 translation: My blood and fate will be warded from misery. _

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

**It scared me when Nick didn't answer me after he turned to shower off and ten minutes went by. Raven unlocked the door and left when she saw Nick, sobbing silently on the toilet seat. My heart broke but I was also happy; he was finally letting it out instead of holding it in. **

"**Nick…" He gave no sign that he heard me so I just walked over and pulled him from the toilet seat and onto my lap, holding him tightly, trying to draw him from his pain. And for five minutes, he didn't move. And then he unwrapped his arms from his knees and wrapped them around me and that was when I knew he would ok. **

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I wanted it to stop, for all of this to end, but the pain still cascaded in a waterfall from my eyes, drowning out all control and sinking the limited memories of happiness I had until the were lost in its dark depths. And I was forced to sit here, alone, and relive what I suppressed, spilling all of my hot tears onto my jeans as I embraced my knees. I again saw what I did not want to see and it was all way too much for me to cage within the most shadow infested corner of my mind, and now it was free. It fell from my eyes and caused an earthquake to shake my entire body and engulfed my soul in its dark embrace, leaving me cold, broken and alone. _

_But then I remembered I wasn't alone. My friends and brother were forever there for me and my brother was here now, comforting me, holding me, whispering sweet nothings into my almost deaf ear. I finally unwrapped my arms from my now soaked knees and wrapped them around him, remind myself he was here and he would not leave. Just knowing that lit up some of my dark heart and brightened my mood, but not nearly enough to drive off all of the hurt, but enough to keep me sane, to save me from losing myself forever in sorrow and becoming an empty shell of my former self that only loved in pain, sorrow and fear. _

* * *

KEVIN'S POV

I held onto my shaking brother and waited, unable to do anything more than I already was. My butt went numb after the first ten minutes but I did not acknowledge it, knowing Nick's pain was worse than a numb butt. Thirty minutes went by before I noticed the decrease in shivers and tears from Nick and it was another five until he was completely still and his breathing, no longer hindered by sobs, was the only thing I heard. He started to pull back but I did not let him and he sighed and slumped back against me and clasped his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry Kev." He whispered.

I looked at him, genuinely confused. "For what?"

Nick looked down, ashamed. "For snapping at you before and for breaking down like a blubbering baby." His voice was almost to quiet for me to hear and I could not believe he was apologizing for those things!

I gently cupped his chin and ignored the way he involuntarily tensed and brought his face up so he was looking me in the eyes. "Don't apologize. I understand why you were angry and crying is not something to be ashamed of. You have earned the right and holding back 17 years of tears is impressive, but impossible to hold back forever. You need to cry sometimes Nick, it's just who we as humans are."

"Sometimes I don't want to be human." Nick stated.

I chuckled a little and he smirked a bit until a silence surrounded us. It was not awkward, but what did you say to your brother that you have not protected for 17 years?

"Umm, Nick, I realize this won't be the best thing to say right now, but do you know why Joe went berserk on you last you last night?"

Nick looked like he was biting his tongue from an insult of Joe and he shook his head.

"Well, he told me it was because he was so afraid of what you said about, you know, ending your life and he panicked and he reacted in alarm and without a thought. He doesn't want to lose his little brother…who is not his punching bag."

I watched Nick's gaze as he looked at his hands, uncertainty and a small war going on behind his eyes. "I understand and…I don't blame him…I can forget about this, but I can never erase 17 years of misery from my memory." He finally said, more to himself than to me. I had no idea how to reply to that.

"So…why did you hold all of this in? You know better than anyone it is terrible to do so."

Nick shrugged and I sighed, knowing Nick knew exactly why he did this. "Fine. It was because I was afraid Joe would use it as an opening. I did not want Joe to see how bad I was, to give him the satisfaction."

Again, I was struck speechless by the words that flowed smoothly and readily from my younger brother's lips. We sat in silence for a minute as we both thought about different things. Me about filling the silence and Nick probably about Joe.

"Think you will be ok for a few minutes while I get ready?" I asked him, unable to come up with anything else to say.

Nick looked skeptically at me and when he spoke his voice was light and his eyes seemed to shine. "I'll think I'll make it."

I smiled and ruffled his hair and he glared at me and got up and walked from the room and tossed me my freshly washed clothes. There was no big rush for me today so I took my time and when I got out, I wasn't surprised to see an empty and clean room, with the doors and window's wide open. I walked downstairs, and stopped at a corner as I heard voices.

"No, the police won't care about stopping us if we keep up these good deeds, so it should be safe." Nick explained to who I presumed to be the whole gang.

"Do you have proof about that? I never want to see the inside of a jail again." Scythe said, rather sleepily.

As an answer, a reporter's voice blared out. "I am here with Police Sheriff Marshall who is willing to talk about the subject. Good afternoon Sir!"

"Good afternoon Ms. Claire. Now the Fallen have been considered a threat in the past, but we all believe they turned over a new leaf from all of the good and heroic deeds they have accomplished, from cats in trees to saving six orphans lives. They have done a great deal and we expect more. And no, if we come across the true identities of the Fallen or if they cross our paths, we will not interfere with their lives and work unless they give us a reason to. They are on thin ice as it is right now, but we have a strong suspicion that they will not cause more harm."

"I agree. Ever since that fifth member showed up, the Fallen seem to have changed for the better of all."

Nick switched off the TV or radio. "Is that enough proof?" He asked calmly, curious.

"Yeah, that will do it." Scythe answered and Omega snorted.

"Scythe, you sound half dead man." Omega informed him.

Scythe growled. "I am up too early. And yes Raven, any time before 1 pm is early!" Nick laughed and I could practically see him shaking his head.

Raven sighed, like she heard this too many times before. "Alright, so now that this…mission…is planned and good to go, what should we do about Kevin?"

I stiffened at the sound of my name and Nick instantly spoke. "He won't tell anyone about this place, we know that. And I think we should let him in on the plan. I mean, he is already eavesdropping on it anyway."

I shook my head and walked in the room, smiling ashamedly and I was surprised to see all of them smirking slightly at me. "It was that obvious?"

Omega laughed. "I can hear a person breathe from fifty feet away Kevin and Nick and Raven both have excellent hearing. You would be hard pressed to sneak up on us."

I smiled at him and he smiled back, like he could see my actions. "So, what plan?"

Nick picked up his guitar, which was behind him and looked at me with an emotion I have never seen before on his face; mischief.

* * *

MACY'S POV

Ok, I may have been too nice to Joe, but whatever; I am not doing this entirely for him. He needs to get better so Nick can live without fear in his own home. That was the main reason I was doing this, for Nick, and not for Joe. So now I leaned against the white walls of the office, bored, as Joe reluctantly told the councilor women everything.

"Joseph…Joe, I believe you are not as much as a mess as you told me. You already are over two of the hardest steps and that is admitting to your problem and getting help."

I looked over to the women and saw she was pretty and young, her red hair falling over her shoulders while she wrote and her brown eyes sparkled, but Joe for once, was oblivious to the girl's obvious cute factor.

Ms. Tambala, as her name plate read, looked up at Joe, who looked at her in question. "Now Joe, I told you this before, not a word will go outside this room. Now I need to know the extents of the damage you gave Nick and Macy and the other kids in school."

Joe took a deep breath. "I did not really beat up other kids in school, but I didn't stop it from happening until recently. I've hit Macy once and scarred her arm with a knife, and Nick…the better question would be what didn't I do to him. I've…I've hit him, kicked him…scarred him…broke him…" Joe trailed off, unable to continue and Ms. Tambala turned to me.

"Macy, can I see where Joe scarred you?"

I nodded and pulled up my sleeve, revealing a bunch of scars from sports and the one from Joe. Surprisingly, it wasn't the biggest. I pointed it out. "The rest are sport injuries." I pulled the sleeve back down and Ms. Tambala noted something on her clipboard. This was going to be a long hour.

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

I ran from the mansion, Scythe following me to make sure I wasn't being followed and when I was far enough away, he shrank back and fell prey to the horizon. My legs carried me fast, down the streets and to Stella's doorstep. I knocked and walked in when Stella answered it and she ushered me up to her messy room and showed me a pretty crimson dress that was short and puffed out at the end with a large block of white and two thin golden lines ran horizontally across the puffed skirt.

"That one is for Macy for the dance and this…is mine!" She exclaimed, gesturing to another dress. It was a very light purple, almost silver actually, and it ruffled around the top of it and like Macy's the skirt puffed out into floating layers. It was simple but pretty. "I thought it would match Joe's outfit I made for him. Oh, Kevin, so you and Nick are going right? You both need a Stella Original, am I correct?"

I nodded. "Yeah Stella. But it is a big order from Nick himself. You see Nick is planning to…"

……

I walked home, humming happily after Stella agreed, like Nick told me she would, and walked in the door. After a few quick words to the parent's I went upstairs to find Joe and Macy talking.

"Hey Macy, Joe." I greeted them and Joe looked surprised that I even looked at him.

"Kevin…how's Nick?" He asked, and I noted how he hung his head in remorse and Macy looked at me, smiling slightly.

"He's ok." I answered. "But he wasn't before. I am only telling you this because you need to know Joe." I sat down on the other side of Joe and Macy turned to look at me.

"What do you mean Kevin?" She asked confusion and worry shining in her large eyes. I was surprised by how calm I was in this situation, but then again, Nick had told me what to expect and gave me permission to tell Joe and Macy the truth about what happened and how he felt.

"I mean that, until last night and this morning, Nick was holding in all of his hate, sadness and pain and that was killing him more than anything. He told me that he was afraid to show these emotions because he thought Joe would take advantage of it and hurt him more."

Joe stiffened, but his eyes were empty and his face calm. "Go on." He whispered and I heard the forced composure in it.

I turned to him and grasped his shoulder. "I am happy to tell you Joe, that Nick understands why you did what you did last night and he will not hold that action over your head, but as for the rest of it…he is still…"

"Not very forgiving." Joe finished.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Check out my new poll! I am having trouble writing right now with all of my stories so be happy I updated…even if it is short and sucks butt. Maybe some Nacy next chapter! Until next update!_

_Hlaupa hljödhr frá freohr un fyrn un finna mor'ranr_


	21. So Easy

**Koutai: **_Hi!!!! This is the longest story I have ever written and to think I wanted it to be less than fifteen chapters…ah well, that impossible now! And I swear twice in this chapter…sorry._

_Chapter 19 translation: My blood and fate will be warded from misery. _

_Chapter 20 translation: Run silent from death and war and find peace._

_**I NEED HELP IN MY NEW POLL PLEASE VOTE!!!!! **_IT IS DIFFERENT FROM MY LAST POLL!!!

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

"**I mean that, until last night and this morning, Nick was holding in all of his hate, sadness and pain and that was killing him more than anything. He told me that he was afraid to show these emotions because he thought Joe would take advantage of it and hurt him more." **

**Joe stiffened, but his eyes were empty and his face calm. "Go on." He whispered and I heard the forced composure in it. **

**I turned to him and grasped his shoulder. "I am happy to tell you Joe, that Nick understands why you did what you did last night and he will not hold that action over your head, but as for the rest of it…he is still…"**

"**Not very forgiving." Joe finished.**

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I was alone in the very same park I showed Macy my banged up arm, I was on the exact same bench, strumming my guitar and starred at the flowers I once compared my life to. I was waiting for one person who I knew would come for another run toady, the very same person who was my first friend to stand up to my brothers; Macy Misa. I strummed a few notes on my guitar, almost instantly closing my eyes and losing myself in the music I created. Unknown to me, a smile grew on my face as I strummed a song I was going to call "Rose Garden." _

_When I got to the second chorus, singing it silently in my head, I heard her light and quick footsteps, but I kept my eyes closed, knowing she may run pass me, but I had faith in her JONAS senses. Her footsteps passed and faltered before doubling back and I kept playing, acting as if I did not know she was sitting besides me. _

"Hey Macy." _I sang, opening my eyes to look at her._

_She jumped and smiled, not bothering to ask how I knew she was there. She bit her lip, holding back invisible questions on her tongue. _

"It's ok. You can ask whatever you want." _I reassured her and she brightened, nodding and smiling. _

"Hi Nick. Are you ok?" _She asked and I heard her genuine concern and watched worry fill her chocolate colored eyes. _

_I finished the song before answering, thinking. Was I really ok? I did not have the weight of tears in my heart and holding me back anymore, I finally felt free and, I never thought this possible, but happy. _

"Yeah Macy, I'm good." _I told her and she heard the truth in my 4 words and her eyes shined with the bright hot intensity of a thousand suns and the gently mystery of the moon. _

"I'm glad. But if you ever need to vent again, I am here for you." _She informed me, punching my shoulder lightly. _

_I don't know why, but when she touched me, I felt no fear like I did if Kevin, Joe, or even Raven did. It actually made me feel like I was accepted and loved when Macy did it. _

"What Joe did…wasn't as easy as you might think Nick." _Macy quietly said, starting a conversation I really did not want to have again, but I would persevere. _

"It's so easy to play with love, so easy to fool someone, so easy to make someone cry. But it's so hard if you're the one who's played with, fooled and the one who cried." _I replied, with the same volume and Macy nodded sadly, looking at me again with understanding but contradiction. But she did not pursue her beliefs._

"That may be true to you Nick, but Joe is trying. I went to the violence counselor with him today and he seemed uncomfortable, but he really wants to get better so you don't have to live in fear around him." _She looked over, beyond the dying and died flowers, and into the tall green trees. _"I know you don't believe it, but he has changed."

_I did not look at her and answered with truth. _"I believe it." _She turned to me in shock. _"But will he stayed changed? That is question that keeps me away from him."

_Macy sighed and did not bother to interrupt the silence, probably because even Macy Misa did not have the answer I have been searching for. We sat and my fingers started strumming again, against my will might I add. Macy hummed to the song that made JONAS who we are today and that gave us the great start we needed; "Please be Mine."_

_I did not sing, but I closed my eyes, letting the music take me into another world, one without sadness and fear, the one I often retreated to when I felt like I had no where else to go. I always found a home in music and it felt so right to be playing with Macy humming next to me. I heard a new set of footsteps of one I used to fear. _

"Hey Kev." _I said as he stopped in front of us, my eyes still closed and my fingers still waltzing as I strummed. Macy stopped humming. _

"You were right Nick." _Kevin told me, meaning Stella saying yes. _

"When am I not?" _I asked him, not opening my eyes nor pausing my playing. _

_He laughed. _"True. Anyway, I'll leave you both alone now."_ Kevin said, running away and I almost smiled at his hinting. _

_I opened my eyes and Macy looked uncomfortable at Kevin's statement. _"What's up?" _I questioned, feeling worried for her turn in emotions. _

"Oh, nothing." _Macy lied, not very convincingly, but I dropped it. Was it possible that Macy…nah, it can't be…or can it? Was it possible I was feeling the same way I think she is feeling? Is this why I never feel afraid or alone when she is around, why she can easily make my rare smile appear, why she was the only one that cared enough to care when I broken? _

"Hey Nick? Can I talk to you for a minute?" _Raven's voice came from behind and I looked to Mac, who nodded and said she would wait. I smiled and handed her my guitar and she waved for me to go and I walked a short way, out of Macy's ear shot and saw Raven sitting on a low tree branch, her feet dangling two feet from the ground. _

"Nick…I need to…I can't do this anymore. I am the only thing that is tethering you to your life with the Fallen and keeping you from what your heart truly wants." _She sounded hurt and heartbroken for a reason I had seen coming, but did not want to hear. _

"Ray, you are not the only reason I am staying with the Fallen and away from my family. But if I forgive Joe, as you are hinting I will, then the reason for me staying wit the Fallen still would be the same. It isn't only you that keeps me tied in." _I told her, trying to delay the inevitable future._

_She looked down at me and jumped down lightly, taking my hand. _"I know that Nick. But with me…your heart can't have what it needs. You and Macy… can't interfere. You two already have what we can never have."

_I did not bother telling her Macy and I were just friends. Even I could not deny my crush for my best friend. And I hoped she felt the same way. I guess Raven is right…but shouldn't I be heartbroken? Or is my heart to broken still to break again? Or did I know that this would happen, even before it started? I waited for the pain and sorrow to come in, but it did not and when I looked into Raven's silver eyes, I saw no pain in hers, only light for a new future. I nodded._

"Friends?" _I asked, accepting our fate and holding out my hand._

"The best." _She replied, taking my hand and I pulled her into a hug and she pulled away after a few seconds and turned away without another word and I walked back to Macy. _

_She looked at me in confusion but she did not question what Raven and I spoke about but I swear I saw a hint of jealously in her eyes. Time to clear that up…subtly…hopefully…_

"So Mace, are you going to the dance?" _I asked her and she nodded. _"Well then, would you be so kind to let me have just one dance with you?"

_I saw her eyes widen and she said a quick Yes, duh and then laughed lightly, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks and I held back a snicker, not wanting to embarrass her further. _

_I stood up, putting my guitar on her back and she got up as well. _"Race you to the entrance." _Macy challenged. She may be the star track player but I had the skills of the Fallen. We would be pretty evenly matched. _

"You're on!" _I told her, putting on my competitive face and a gleam of a challenge appeared in her eyes. She said go and we raced off, both of us neck and neck and soon laughing at how no matter how fast we went, we could not gain the upper hand. We raced passed couples skating, running, sitting, and flew at the speed of sound, jumping over stray rocks and fallen bikers, never breaking our stride and earning some laughs, cheers and swears. A guy walked out in my path and Macy managed to dodge him by sliding under his arm and I grabbed a tree branch and propelled myself over the guys head and astounded face. _

"Nick?" _The guy asked, and Macy and I stumbled into a stop and Macy fell, but I caught her and fell with her, somehow landing below her so she now lay across me. I felt the steady hotness of a blush creep onto my cheeks and she looked shocked and blushed as well and got quickly off of me, whispering her sorry. After another second, we both burst out laughing; clutching out sides and asking each other if we were ok, which we were. _

_I looked over to the guy that called my name and my laughter died instantly as I met the slightly hazel eyes that I was not ready to see yet. The floating feeling of joy left and my pants from laughing and running turned to pants of running and slight fear. Joe did not move towards me, but he held me gaze and I was hurt in his eyes and a silent sorry. I tried to calm the fear and hate that I knew was in my eyes, as they spiraled in a tornado in my heart, and I was not sure if I was successful or not. Macy stood up and offered a hand, which I gladly took and I was sad when she let go. _

_Joe stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked to his feet, finally unable to take my gaze, and he walked away, unable to say what his eyes told me. His shoulders were hunched and tense, as if he expected me to attack him like he did me and his steps were of one suffering from a war of emotions._

"Joe?"_ I called out, pushing down my anger and hate long enough to say this to him. _

_I watched him turn, his eyes wide in surprise that I actually said his name. As soon as his eyes fell on mine, I was tongue tied. I wanted to tell him that did not have a reason to be afraid of me or for me anymore and I did not want him to be. But instead, I could not speak, my old enemies of sorrow and pain and disgust holding my tongue. So I nodded once, trying to tell him what my tongue could not with my eyes, as he did before. I think he got the message because his eyes softened a little and he nodded back._

_Suddenly I had to get out of here. I could not take being in Joe's presence for another moment. I ran, as fast as I did when I was racing Macy, only this time, she wasn't by my side. _

* * *

STELLA'S POV

I like challenges and the one Nick gave me was perfect and I think I knew exactly how to design his outfit and I was proud at how it turned out. Now, just for Omega's, Scythe's, Shadow's, and Raven's…and I still needed to finish Kevin's…thank goodness I still had two days. And true to Kevin's word, the Fallen, minus Nick, showed up at my door with their masks an hour after I drew up their designs.

Raven exclaimed in wonder at her dress and Scythe nodded approvingly while Shadow described them to Omega. I got their measurements and the boy's left and Raven stayed to help. And much to my surprise, she was pretty good at sewing and making clothes. In fact, her parent's made her make one outfit a month for her little brother and she told me she always had to modify her own clothes after her parents bought it. She got curiously silent when I asked her why.

But it turned out she was pleasant company and I found a beautiful friendship blossom from the fabric that flowed evenly beneath our fingers and we transformed into garments, like magic. We spoke of many things, each other's past, Nick, Joe, Kevin, Macy, how cute Nick and Macy are together, and how Raven broke up with Nick and felt little to no pain. I had t reassure her that that was normal for a relationship that was never meant to be, and I told her not to worry about it because there was a guy out there for her. At that, she laughed skeptically.

I joined in and we laughed until our sides hurt and the impressive part is that Raven and I never missed one stitch in out laughter fit.

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

Should I be happy or pained by my brief meeting with Nick today? Let's look at the good's and bads like Ms. Tambala said I should…ugh.

_Nick was smiling GOOD_

_Nick looked hurt by looking at me BAD_

_Nick had fear in his eyes BAD_

_Nick spoke to me/acknowledged me GOOD_

_Nick did not punch/maim me GOOD_

_Nick did not look forgiving BAD_

Well, that was useless. The good and bad counts were the same…stupid Ms. Tambala.

I switched on the TV as soon as I got home and saw a reporter saying something about a robbery and the 'White masked Fallen' stopping it single handedly and now they were recording Nick begin chased by four guys, three of them armed, two had a gun, one a knife. But Nick did not look afraid, in fact, he seemed confident and I knew he had a plan. At least, I hoped he did.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I was in the area of the robbery, unknowing, at the time, that it was occurring. But I heard the ring of alarms and the muffled screams and sobs as soon as I listened to the night's whispers. And in seconds, I was running through the doors of a bank, right into a robbery. _

_I was over the shock in a millisecond and ran into action, ignoring the yells of orders and insults and fear that called around me and I punched the nearest guy in the face, whistling high pitched, hoping Omega would hear it from three blocks down. I knocked the gun out of another guys hand and disabled it by twisting off on screw, like Scythe showed me how to do. I tossed it to the bank teller and she looked terrified, but nodded all the same, pointing the useless gun at the man that I knocked down. _

_Omega did hear the call and the whole gang was bursting through the door and broken windows in seconds, running pass me and into the vaults, Scythe in the lead, showing off his claws. Four slipped pass them and pointed to me, yelling and waving a gun and knife. They threatened to kill one person for every step towards them I made, an I realized they did not know about Raven, Scythe, Shadow and Omega being here and that they were insane enough to live up to there threat. _

"Alright, pansies." _I said, trying to egg them on. _"Take it on me, if you have the guts you worthless pile of dog crap. Heck, I bet you don't even know how to work that gun."

_The guy turned red in anger and shot right above my head and I willed myself not to flinch and I ran out the door and smiled all four of them thundered out after me. _

_I ran as fast as if my life depended on it and I controlled my breathing and pushed down the limited amount of fear felt playing in my heart as I neared my location, with all four robbers still on my tail. I rearranged my face to what I hoped was confidence when I neared the broadcasting news crew, and no, I did not plan for this to be on the news. There cameras soon found us and locked onto us, like a heat seeking missal. _

_There it was the perfect weapon. It was better than their two guns and their knife combined. Behold and bask in the glory that is the street light pole. I slowed enough for them to catch up a bit, but not enough to grab me. I heard their ragged contrast my own smooth breathing and I heard one of them click off the safety of his gun and the other did the same. But I did not give them the chance to aim and pull the trigger. _

_Without breaking my stride, I ran _up _the light pole and took two steps vertically before I back flipped over their awed faces and landed perfectly behind them. I heard a satisfying _thwong _of one of them knocking themselves out as they hit the pole with their head and I ignored the gasps of the news people. Three to go. _

_The three tuned to me and before they could so much as blink, I knocked one of the guns from the guys hand with a well placed kick and as I brought my foot down, I remembered what Macy did to Joe the other day. The guy never had a chance and he went down with high pitched squeals of pain as he held his…area. _

_My ears picked up the sounds of sirens about three miles away and I knew I had about four minutes left to knock them out and disappear. Plenty of time. _

_I looked at the two down and kicked away the dull knife that lay at me feet, careful to not get any prints on any of their murder toys. I watched the other guy that had a gun aim it at me and I did am quick cartwheel to get out of the ay and I felt the bullet whiz past me and hit the empty air I had just occupied. He tried to aim again, but I never gave him the chance. I hooked my arm around the barrel of the gn and twisted, pulling it from his hands and I clicked the safety on as I tossed it away and it landed harmlessly on the ground. _

_But that gave the guy an opening, and he took it. Punching me hard and fast in the stomach, as I had endured many a time in the past. _

_But pain was not what I felt my heart fill with. No, what I felt was anger at old memories that surfaced of Joe doing this to me, time and time again. No more mister nice man, I am done with getting pushed around! Rage took over and it dulled my sense of caution as it raised my level of strength. _

_The second guy ran over to me as I acted in pain, wanting to in his share of the rebelling punching bag. But I moved to fast and hit him square in the jaw, causing him to stagger back. He leaped to me again, murder in his unforgiving eyes and I acted without a thought, jumping and kicking him in the right temple and he was down and out. _

_The other guy tried to punch my face, but I caught his hand and twisted it behind his back and ran him into the street light's pole, and heard him grunt in pain. The police cars pulled up and they ran forward, handcuffing all of the guys that lay on the ground. _

"Damn you. I hope you go to hell."_My guy whispered coldly but I had heard it all in my past so I was unaffected. _

_I lowered my voice and was surprised to hear it come out so dark and gruff. _"Then I'll see you there."  


* * *

JOE'S POV

Whoa. Nick just beat the crap out of four guys single handedly. _Note to self; Never make Nick angry…like ever. _

But I was not shaken by his display of strength and speed, but of his eyes when one of the idiots punched him in the stomach as I had done many times before. I expected pain, but no, a volcano of anger erupted in his eyes and it filled them, making him look slightly demonic. I saw the different way of fighting he had after that and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I was the reason for the fury living in Nick's eyes. It was all me.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Some people begged for action. Can't say I blame them, so I put this last bit in to stress more on the Fallen's good deeds. Until next Update!_

_Edoc'sil ebrithil abr wydra._


	22. So Hard

**Koutai: **_Hi…yeah…__I am getting sick of BREATHING UNDERWATER…so I may not update until I finish __Not So Perfect__ so I can focus on BU one and my suckish Lord of the Rings one._

_Chapter 20 translation: Run silent from death and war and find peace._

_Chapter 21 translation: Unconquerable Master of fate._

_**I NEED HELP IN MY NEW POLL PLEASE VOTE!!!!! **_IT IS DIFFERENT FROM MY LAST POLL!!!

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**The other guy tried to punch my face, but I caught his hand and twisted it behind his back and ran him into the street light's pole, and heard him grunt in pain. The police cars pulled up and they ran forward, handcuffing all of the guys that lay on the ground. **_

"**Damn you. I hope you go to hell."**_**My guy whispered coldly but I had heard it all in my past so I was unaffected. **_

_**I lowered my voice and was surprised to hear it come out so dark and gruff. **_**"Then I'll see you there."  
**_**…..**_**JOE'S POV**

**Whoa. Nick just beat the crap out of four guys single handedly. **_**Note to self; Never make Nick angry…like ever. **_

**But I was not shaken by his display of strength and speed, but of his eyes when one of the idiots punched him in the stomach as I had done many times before. I expected pain, but no, a volcano of anger erupted in his eyes and it filled them, making him look slightly demonic. I saw the different way of fighting he had after that and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I was the reason for the fury living in Nick's eyes. It was all me. **

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_I got back to the house and was greeted by angry faces…why does this seem so familiar I wonder?_

"What were you thinking?!?!" _Raven screamed at me as soon as I walked in and locked the door. _"Taking on four guys with two guns and a knife by yourself! You could have been killed or exposed!!!"

_I waited for her to take a breath before I calmly answered her increasingly red face. _"Those thugs would have killed those people if I didn't get them angry enough to follow me out of there. I couldn't let those innocent people die."

_Raven's anger did not die out, but she held her tongue and nodded, letting out a long breath. _"You are on thin ice Nick Lucas." _She said before walking away. _

_Once she was out of earshot, Scythe, Omega and Shadow exploded in congratulations. _

"Dude, wow! Four guys and three weapons, and no marks!!! Way to go!" _Scythe shouted, jumping up and down, giving me a fist pound and a reason to smile. _

_All the guys were happy at my feat, but why did I feel so uneasy? I have hit many times before and it has not affected me…so why now? Is it because of Joe showing no violence to me to fuel my fiery inferno I call my heart and to darken my soul in its choking smoke? Or is it because of Kevin, finally being here for me and drawing me away from the violence? Or Macy, who, outside the arena, would ever hurt a fly? Or was I just slowly losing my mind to all of the madness that swirled around me. I wanted to break all of this madness, but it was all I had left…_

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

Joe told me about the robbery and Nick's fight and I had to watch it, just to make sure he was ok, and for the most part he was. He kicked butt. But I was frightened and saddened at the explosion of rage in Nick's eyes as he was punched in the gut, and I knew he was remembering the times Joe did that to him, and that only increased his anger. I watched his fighting become more aggressive and careless as he took down the other two, anger darkening his eyes and adding a demonic sparkle to them and his mouth was a wordless growl.

I listened to the reporter say that Nick risked his life by luring these four from the bank, after threatening him to kill one person for every step Nick took. I heard everyone call him and the Fallen hero's, but right now, I had a feeling Nick felt nothing like a hero, in fact, he probably looked at himself more like a villain. He probably felt this way because he beat up someone, even though they deserved it, but he still caused someone the pain he was forced to experience or at least a small dose of it anyway.

I glanced at the clock and it said nine, too late to go out but I wonder if…I pulled out my cell phone and prayed Nick had his on and with him. I glanced around the empty room, my anticipation growing with every ring. I got to his voice mail and I started talking.

"Hey Nick is Kevin. Listen bro if you…"

"Hey Kev." Nick's voice came through suddenly. "What's up?" I noted that he sounded tired and a bit stressed.

"I saw the video. I wanted to make sure you were ok." I answered him, almost able to him roll his eyes.

"I'm fine," came his short reply. But there was something hidden in his voice that I could not place.

"Nick, no one is in the room or listening it. You can tell me anything, you know that." I told him, practically begging him to tell me his worries and to not bottle them up again.

I heard him sigh and close what sounded like a window. "I just feel…I don't know…that I am going to regret my actions, even though it saved people's lives. I can't really explain it but my heart is telling me this is going to bite me in the butt."

I was confused by his answer. "How Nick, they are all in jail now. There is no way that can happen."

Nick sighed again and when he spoke, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself that my words were true. "I know, there is no way…I hope."

It was my turn to sigh. "Nick, don't worry about it. We both know that they won't be able to touch you. I want you to promise me you won't dwell on this when you are alone, ok?"

Nick was quiet for a second. "Ok, I promise Kev."

I nodded feeling a small bit of weight fly from my chest and my voice rang with approval. "Good. Now go to bed little bro, you sound exhausted."

I heard Nick chuckle once. "Alright _mom." I could almost hear him smile as I laughed lightly. _"Night Kev. Love you bro." Nick told me.

"Night Nick, love you too." I hung up after a moment of silence and sighed, happy to get a hold of Nick and that he told me what was bothering him instead of letting it eat at his heart. I was so glad that he was finally opening up at bit, trusting me enough to tell me everything and for me to be the brother I should have been 17 years ago. Now all I had to do was wait for Nick to trust Joe and for Joe to trust himself.

* * *

MACY'S POV

Oh wow. I might not be going to the dance with Nick, but he promised me a dance! Will I be able to stay on my feet long enough to finish one simple slow song? Or will I melt into a puddle that will have to be mopped up the gym floor? Oh, whatever happens will happen but I am going to dance with Nick!!!

I waltzed around my room, knowing that Stella already designed me the perfect dress and I called her to tell her about Nick promising me one dance and she squealed with excitement and yelled 'FINALLY!' into the phone, causing me to crack up in giggles of embarrassment. I secretly agreed with Stella though…finally!

* * *

_SCYTHE'S POV_

While Nick and the others went to bed, I went out prowling. Hey, what can I say? I am a creature of the night, I always have been. So now I was wandering the dead streets of town, trying to gather the limited amount of thoughts I had. That was when I saw a figure, walking in the same direction as me, hands in his pocket. I ran up, as silent as the shadows breathing, and fell into step with him and he did not even acknowledge my presence.

"Hey Joe," I said, keeping my extreme dislike from my voice.

"Scythe." He said briefly, nodding his head.

We walked in silence for a minute, me trying to think of something other than insults and him just thinking, lost in his own world and I think I knew what was on his mind.

"Look Joe, I don't like you but somehow Nick is starting to. I know you want to say something to him, so what is holding you back?" I walked in front of him stopping to block his path and my arms were crossed.

He looked at me like I had just spoken a foreign language. "Nick…he is starting to like me?"

I shrugged. "Kind of…I think. Well, he doesn't spit out insults every time your name is said. That counts for something, right?"

Joe shook his head. "I don't know. It seemed…never mind. As for your other question, I don't know. Every time I see him, I have no clue what to do or say. I want to beg for his forgiveness and yet I can't. I want to be the brother he deserves, but I can't. Every single time he looks at me, I can see his fear and pain in his eyes. I can see the past I forced on him haunt him every time he looks at me. I just…I…"

"Get too caught up in his pain, knowing that you caused it, that you lose your words and nerve. You don't know how he is going to react." I finished from him.

Joe nodded. "Do you know?"

I shook my head. "Nick is very closed on the subject. In fact, he only talks about it to Kevin and Macy. Whenever one of us brings it up, he gets silent and even with those two, the conversation is short and he doesn't give away too much. All I can tell you is that he is afraid that you won't stay changed."

Joe looked to his feet. "I'm doing a pretty crappy job of showing him that, aren't I?"

For some reason, I found that so funny that I was disturbing the night with bellowing laughs. Joe smiled a little and I caught my breath. "Yeah, Joe, that you are. But hey, you can turn it around."

Joe looked at me and I saw his dead eyes. "But that is so hard."

"But not impossible."

* * *

KEVIN'S POV

I was sitting with my guitar and strumming the notes to a few songs when Joe finally walked in. I did not question where he went on his walk nor on what he did, but he seemed considerably happier when he sat across from me.

"I met Scythe on my walk and we talked." Joe told me and I stopped playing.

"Really? He didn't insult you too badly, did he?" I asked and Joe smirked, shaking his head.

"Not once actually."

I smiled and started strumming and Joe picked up the words from the one and only time he heard it.

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
Doesn't drive me to fight you back  
Then I'll know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III  
World War III

I looked at Joe. "How did you memorize this song when you can't even remember the lyrics to Keep it Real?"

Joe smirked. "Easy, this one was written by Nick, I paid attention to it…for once…and it is insanely catchy."

"Umm Joe? All of our songs are written by Nick, dad forces you to pay attention and Keep it Real is catchy too."

Joe shrugged. "Fine. But then where did you learn how to play it on Bass?" Crap. I shrugged and Joe glared. "Look Kevin, I know you are close with Nick. Just tell me the truth." Joe begged, no pain in his voice but it filled his eyes.

"Nick did teach me. He needed something to do with his hands so he grabbed his guitar." I lied, partially, hoping Joe wouldn't question further.

"So…what do you talk about…you know, when he talks?" Joe asked and I sighed, happy for the change of subject.

"We talk about random things; mostly I try to keep his mind off of the past. But we do talk about that quite a bit. He has cried before…and so I have."

"But he is letting it out?" Joe asked and I nodded.

"And it is time for you to as well."

* * *

**Koutai: **_Third to last chapter. I mean it this time. And the next chapter will probably be a bit sad…Until Next Update!_

**Check out Snowfallxo, silvereyed angel, and my community; Living the Nightmare!**

**And the story Nobody Has to Know by InvisibleDisaster **

_Eka __lífa__ unin __Ristvak'baen__  
_

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**AND VOTE FOR JONAS BROTHERS IF U LOVE THEM!!!!**


	23. Final Flight

**Koutai: **_Hi!!!! Second to last Chapter here!!! I swore a few times in the writing because the 'fiery pits of heck and A-hole' did not seem to fit. SPECIAL THANKS TO SILVEREYED ANGEL WHO WROTE PARAGRAPHS 9-17 OF JOE'S POV!!!!!_

_LONG CHAPTER ALERT!!!!!!_

_Chapter 21 translation: Unconquerable Master of fate._

_Chapter 22 translation: I live in __Ristvak'baen__ (a place of sorrow)_

_**I NEED HELP IN MY NEW POLL PLEASE VOTE!!!!! **_IT IS DIFFERENT FROM MY LAST POLL!!!

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

**Joe shrugged. "Fine. But then where did you learn how to play it on Bass?" Crap. I shrugged and Joe glared. "Look Kevin, I know you are close with Nick. Just tell me the truth." Joe begged, no pain in his voice but it filled his eyes. **

"**Nick did teach me. He needed something to do with his hands so he grabbed his guitar." I lied, partially, hoping Joe wouldn't question further. **

"**So…what do you talk about…you know, when he talks?" Joe asked and I sighed, happy for the change of subject. **

"**We talk about random things; mostly I try to keep his mind off of the past. But we do talk about that quite a bit. He has cried before…and so I have."**

"**But he is letting it out?" Joe asked and I nodded. **

"**And it is time for you to as well."**

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

I wanted to let it out…But somehow I couldn't. And I knew I would remain this way until Nick was home…and I was holding him in a tight but gentle hug. And I knew that Nick was not fully fixed either, that part of him, like me, was still left broken with only one way to fix it; forgiveness. As corny as that is, it was true and I never knew to words to my own brother could be so hard; I'm sorry.

"I wish I could Kevin…its just. I can't…not when I know that Nick still hates me…I can't forgive myself until he forgives me." I told him, hating how weak my voice sounded, but I had to get used to the sound.

"He doesn't hate you…as much as he did…" Kevin told me, avoiding my gaze, his voice constricted, like he wasn't supposed to tell me that little snippet of golden information.

I looked at him, and I knew he saw my hurt heart and suffering soul. "But he still hates me."

Kevin was silent, and I couldn't tell if he would, or even could contradict me. For a minute, the room was silent and I left myself get lost for a moment in the remorse filling memories of the past; Everyone of Nick's bruises, flinches, hurt glances, silences, every iota of pain, sorrow and broken heartedness, that was all caused by me. If I were Nick, I would hate me too. I would want me dead…but I am not Nick. I have a small amount of faith that Nick is above wanting to kill me, above hurting me and Kevin anymore…but I knew better than that. Even unintentionally, he was slowly killing me by his silence and lack of forgiveness…but I did not blame him, not one bit.

"Kevin…I don't know what to do. I try to talk to Nick, but every time I see him, fear is hidden in his eyes and my words can never leave my mouth…I…I don't know anymore…did I ever know?" I looked up at Kevin, who was looking at his hands, his eyes sad.

"I don't think you did Joe. But I didn't either until that one night…until we thought him dead." He raised his head and held my gaze, his eyes filled with truth and determination. "But Joe, I saw the light and you are starting to. I have faith in you bro; I know you will do what is right, in the end."

I looked away, tears starting to come. I did not deserve his faith and kindness, even a jail cell, or the holocaust was too nice for me, for the crime I committed. I was a low-life, cold hearted, brother abuser ass-hole. All I deserved was the fiery pits of hell, and Nick deserved to go to the pearly gates of Heaven. I felt myself shake a bit as I held in tears and sobs and I listened to my heart scream for the release of the emotions I bottled inside, but I lacked the bottle opener to get them out.

*Suddenly a hand came around my shoulder and turned me around, forcing me to look into my older brothers' eyes, so alike to the ones I couldn't ever stare into without shots of pain burning through my body.

"Joe, if you want Nick to forgive you, then you have to change. For good. If you really...if you really want his forgiveness, then you have to work for it, show it to him. Work your sorry butt off if you have to." Kevin's eyes were pleading, in their depths I saw his pain, and another one's pain I could add to my list, the pain of an older brother trying to protect his younger siblings...

Kevin took a deep breath before continuing, trying to hold his own sadness from is voice, "I have come to know Nick, the real Nick, but even I don't know if he will forgive you. Not even Nick knows if he will... but that doesn't mean you can't try!"

I watched my brother as he tried to talk some sense into me...the real care behind his eyes... the very same thing I wanted from Nick, but I had stolen that from him...

"Kevin, I…look what I did to him! He can't and I can't..." I started, unable to find the right words. "The idiot makes me feel so worried and angry and makes me want to scream at him until he understands, but I know I can't do that. I have no idea what to do Kev! No bloody idea!"

Kevin pulled me into a hug as I started sobbing, even though I once vowed the great Joe Lucas would never cry. Turns out the great Joe Lucas wasn't so great after all...

"You _can_ do it Joe, and without getting angry. You're a good person…that just has a heck of a lot of issues." Kevin said.

"Nick has more, thanks to me." I answered softly.

"And you are the only one that can help him get over them. You can do it, I believe in you."*_written by Silver_

His encouraging and soft voice floated through my sorrow, but my eyes were too blurred by tears to see his face. He pulled my in tighter and I let it all out, doing what I though I would not be able to do; I let it out. The emotions bottled in my heart became so condensed that they finally broke through the glass of the bottle, splintering my broken heart, and flying through my entire being, happy for release. I clung onto my older brother for dear life as I experience all of my past misdeeds and I found, myself wondering if Nick went through this kind of soul shattering torment we he finally let it out. I hoped he did not; this was enough pain for me to…well…you know…what I almost made Nick do…to commit suicide.

But Kevin was here, he was the only person that trusted me and had enough faith in me and compassion to be here right now, to help save me from myself. I really never understood a big brother's role until now…this should be me and Nick…but right now, I will settle for Kevin and me. For now, this was alright.

* * *

OMEGA'S POV

_I was sitting in front of the TV, listening intently to the news, hoping for a quiet night tonight, but we would have no such luck. We never really did, but we liked being out late and helping out the city folk. I heard Nick shift on the couch next me as the news reporter said something about his brother's being mauled by The Fallen and I turned so I was facing him, using his quiet breathing for guidance of my gaze. _

"It's killing you, isn't it?" _I asked him, knowing he would know what I was talking about. _

"Yeah…slowly but surely." _He said, his voice just below a whisper, but I heard him crystal perfect and I also heard the controlled uncertainty and distress behind his voice. _"At the time, it was the right thing to do, to fight back…but now…I just don't know."

_I looked back to the TV, ignoring the 'Crunchy Cat' commercial that was on and thought of what to say that could be helpful, but unbiased. _"You are right, at that time, fighting back was the only answer. But now the war of brother's had turned into a war of heart. I know you hate this conversation and must be tired of listening to us say it, but I heard the genuine remorse in Joe's voice every time he talks of you and in a way, I can 'see' the way his eyes battle whenever he looks at you. But I agree with your caution, because even I don't know if the change is permanent."

_We sat, silence shrouding us in a heavy fog as Nick again avoided the subject we all knew he needed to talk about. I was about to talk again when the TV blared on and he gasped in shock at the screen._

"The unsuccessful bank robbery from last night, which was stopped by The Fallen, is not the news story of tonight, but rather the two men that escaped police custody last night after the shocking video of Titan disarming four of them single handedly. The two reportedly claimed revenge on the sorry sap that got their comrades caught and locked in prison."

_I heard Nick stop breathing in shock and after five seconds, he slowly inhaled and stood up and I could almost feel him shake. _"I knew it…" _He whispered, but what he knew, I did not know. _

"Raven, Scythe, Shadow!" _I yelled, urgency filling my loud voice and in a matter of seconds I heard them running softly and swiftly downstairs and enter the room, their footsteps being muted by the carpet. Before any of them could ask questions, Nick rewound the TV and replayed it for their ears and I could picture the mortified expression on his face. _

"Well, we will just have to round them up." _Scythe said and I heard Nick take a sharp inhale. _

"No." _He said, barely loud enough for them all to hear. _"Those two are lethal and I can't…I can't lose any of you." _He said in the same volume, his tone filled with conflicting emotions. _

"But who else can catch them but us Nick?" _Raven quietly asked him, understanding in her voice. I did not need sight to see the uncertain look on Nick's face. _

"We won't get hurt; we will be careful." _Shadow added and I bit my tongue, knowing I would have to contribute. _

"I don't know guys." _I started. _"These guys are pretty messed up. You heard them in the bank last night…but we are the only people that will be able to stop them."

_I noticed the absences of Nick's breath again. _"No, I will go; it's me they want, not any of you. You stay safe, I took them once and I can more than likely do it again." _He said, forcing every ounce of bravery and commanding into his quiet voice but I heard Scythe shake his head. _

"No way. We do this as a team, no matter the risk, and you didn't used to care about this, so why start now?" _He asked, rather coldly and I wish I could have seen the hurt in Nick's eyes and the way Scythe's eyes widened as he realized what he said. _

"I always cared. Every time we went out I was scared senseless about one of you getting hurt or caught! Every time I led you into danger, I hated myself more than I already do! EVERY TIME I CARED SO MUCH THAT I WOULD GLADY TAKE ANOTHER BULLET FOR ANY OF YOU!!! _EVERY SINGLE TIME!" _

_The room was silent from Nick's outburst and his pants of anger were all I heard. No one moved, no one but Nick breathed, and no one broke the silence. Nick's harsh breathing faded into short and regret filled bursts. _

"Scythe...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" _He tried to say._

"Forget it man. I was at fault and I let my tongue go faster than my brain…again. I am sorry for accusing you of such a thing. We all know how much you care and I was wrong to question the fact."

_Nick must have nodded because he did not reply and I heard Scythe swing his arm up and rest his hand on Nick's shoulder. _

"We still need to go though Nick, no matter what could happen with these loons, we need to do this." _Rave said her voice still calm and quiet. _

"I know." _Nick told us, his voice clearly saying he did know, but he did not like it at all. _

* * *

_JOE'S POV_

Back in Ms. Tambala's office…without Macy…what fun. I looked at her, ignoring my boyish want to flirt and charm her because she was pretty, and I waited while she waited. Neither of us wanting to speak first, but in the end, I won the game of silence.

"So Joe, you seem better today, but your eyes, were you crying?" She inquired, fiddling with the pencil behind her ear.

I looked at her without remorse; let it be known that Joe Lucas cried over his brother. "Yeah, I was crying. It became too much, so I let it out and Kevin was there for me." I shortly summarized, making it seem like it was no big deal even though we both knew it was.

She smiled at me. "That is great news Joe; you have taken another huge step. In fact, you are the fastest progressing student I've ever seen and I salute you! Now, have you or your brother had any contact lately?"

I nodded. "Yesterday, in the park, he and his best friend, Macy, were racing and he vaulted right over my head. I called to him and he stopped, but I couldn't say what I wanted to so I started walking away and he called my name, but it looked like his words were caught on his tongue as well. He nodded to me before running off, without Macy."

"How did seeing him and him calling to you make you feel?" She asked, lightly.

I shrugged. "Bad and good. It was bad because I still saw the pain and fear I had caused him show in is gaze and good because he called to me and wasn't hostile or ignoring me."

Ms. Tambala nodded and we started talking about Nick and Macy and Kevin, can eventually, it stopped feeling like a bloody interrogation and more like a friendly chat among colleagues. I did not even realize our time went over until Ms. Tambala shooed me out the door.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ We ran out; mask secure, ten minutes after the sun had kissed the horizon. I was still extremely uneasy about this whole thing; I just couldn't shake the feeling that something will go terribly wrong tonight, and if it does, it will be all my fault for agreeing to this and provoking those guys in the first place. It anything happened, I would never forgive myself…If we all make it out of this, I promise to sit down and have a mature conversation with Joe…and I won't run off if he punches me, I'll just punch right back._

_We ran, exactly fifty feet in between each of us, through the various allies of the city, using our ears to track in the low light of twilight. We ran silently for twenty minutes before Omega picked up voices and I identified them with a sinking heart. We split up to surround the two, Scythe going to a pay phone to call the cops, and the rest of us walking to designated spots, awaiting mine or Raven's signal for an ambush. _

_We stalked into our positions in a large circle, Raven at the head, Shadow and Omega to each side and me behind, surrounding the two men in the center of the clearing. But when the cloud moved away from the moon and its faint light illuminated the two we surrounded, my fears were far from alleviated. _

_The man I had slammed into a light post was standing, a gun in one hand, an innocent guy's neck in the others and the gun was placed at the man's temple. The poor innocent starred all around, looking for any means of escape, when his eyes found my white mask. I put my finger to my lips and I knew he saw it when his eyes widened and his gaze flicked to an empty roof top. _

_A raven's cry sounded through the night and we all pounced out and charged the shadow's working in our favors. The man with the gun aimed it at Raven's charging form, but I never gave him the chance to pull the trigger. I leapt onto his back, pulled his black beanie over his eyes, and kicked the gun from his hands into Omega's waiting ones. The guy grabbed me and tried to flip me over his shoulder, intending for me to slam down onto the concrete, breaking my neck. But I wasn't going to let that happen. I used his momentum to fly from his grip and grab his wrist in my hand, not letting go even when he jerked it up, popping his shoulder from its socket. I forced the injured arm behind his back, ym mouth only inches from his ear. _

You don't learn, don't you?" _I whispered harshly. _

_He responded with a laugh, causing my beating heart to quicken in fear from my now realized mistakes. _"Looks like you don't either."

_I forced him to the ground and sat on him in such a way he could not move and I instantly glued my eyes to the rooftop, the one the guy in Raven's care looked at before. My heart stopped as I saw a tall figure holding a shot gun, aimed directly at Shadow. _

"SHADOW!!!" _Raven and I both yelled warning and urgency raising our voices in a higher tune._

_Raven pushed the sputtering man away from her and Omega quickly followed and I distantly saw Scythe, jumping two rooftops away, he would be too late for the first shot, it would all be in vain. The guy's laughter reached a new level of hysteria, but all I could do was watch in shock. _

_The all too familiar ear splitting bang sliced through the air and hit its target with muted thud. All sound died after that, as well as my heart. The bullet tore through my friend's forehead as it tore through my sanity and heart as _she _fell, only to be caught by Omega and Shadow, who stood a few feet away from her shove. She always said she would take a bullet for us and she kept her promise and it killed her…but it was not her fault…but mine…_

_The guys laughter was too much for me and I slammed his head into the concrete walkway, only hard enough to knock him out and I saw Scythe jump down from the roof, the other on his back and he tied them to together and all I could do was sit here in shock, unable to move due to my storm of emotions. _

_The part of my heart that kept me sane died with the light in her silver eyes. My mental string that held me just over the edge of insanity and the black pit of my soul snapped when her limp body slowly turned cold. Anger and pain, two emotions I considered my worst enemies and yet my best friends, formed a temporary alliance and took control of my mind with an iron fist. Hot tears stung my cold cheeks, but I did nothing to wipe them, in fact, I barely felt them. I only felt the need for revenge, the only thing that seemed logical right now. Punishments for those who caused this…and two of the three were going to jail for a long time…so all I needed to do was to find the right penalty for the third; for me. _

_I finally found my voice and I screamed, letting out everything I had into one wordless howl and when I ran out of breath I heard the police slam their cars door shut, about a block away. Scythe grabbed my shoulder and helped me stand and led me to where Omega held Raven and Shadow cried. _

_I knelt and grasped her pale hand, trying to bring some measure of warmth back into it, but my hand froze with hers, just like my heart. Oh god…Raven…I'm sorry…_

"Are you all…Oh GOD!" _An approaching police officer stated as his fellow officers bound the two felons. I met the eyes of all of my team and they nodded, not even bothering to hide their tears. We all stood up, Shadow taking Raven's forever lifeless body, and we ran off when the police were not looking, as silent as the sobs that echoed in our empty minds, hearts and souls. _

_Without a word, Shadow walked with me and Raven around back, into a little cemetery where her family was buried. We stopped next to her brother's tombstone and set her down gently and Shadow used a sharpened metal rod to carve her death date into her already made tombstone and minutes later, Scythe and Omega came up with one of the many casket's her parents had stored in their basement. This one was a sleek black with silver trimmings, and indented in it was a raven, soaring high. _

_We all grabbed a shovel and dug, pushing down the pain and heartbreak. Right now was a time for being strong, mourning would come later. Lyrics formed on my lips and I couldn't keep from singing them, my voice filled with sadness. _

She was brought into this world  
Out of a beautiful mistake  
When her mom was just a girl  
And her daddy didn't stay  
She was working at age 9  
At the flower shop in town  
Working not just to survive  
Cause life was throwing her around

In the rose garden  
Where the rain is falling  
And the thorns are sharpened  
Rose garden, yeah  
Rose garden

She was young but not naïve  
Always wise beyond her years  
Hoping that no one would see  
Every time she dried her tears

In the rose garden  
Where the rain is falling  
And the thorns are sharpened  
Rose garden

Don't let those petals fall  
Don't let them fall on you  
Don't let those petals fall  
Don't let them fall on you  
Yeah, yeah, yeah

In the rose garden  
Where the rain is falling  
And the thorns are sharpened  
In the rose garden, yeah  
Rose

_By the end of my song, my tears started falling again and everyone had stopped digging while I sang, now they resumed, Raven's name on everyone of our lips and her name forever etched in out hearts as she took her final flight to heaven. _

_The hole was done, Raven was in her casket and slowly we all lowered her down, whispering our goodbyes and throwing flowers onto the closed casket. I couldn't it hold it anymore. I ran to the house, into 'my' room, and pushed the dresser against the door and locking it, letting no one in. I pulled my phone from my pocket and saw five missed calls from Kevin, but I threw my phone against the wall as he called again, screaming again in pain, tears sliding freely from my eyes as I collapsed on the floor, unable to stand anymore. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

It was on the news, Raven's death, the broken and dead faces and eyes of the Fallen and I saw each of their pain. Raven was like their sister and now she was gone, sacrificed to save Shadow. They had already lost so much, and now this…what did they ever do to deserve this? I gave up trying to call Nick after the sixth time and ran outside, yelling to Joe I would be back late…maybe, and I ran to the house, barely able to find my way.

I entered the door and immediately saw Scythe, sat hunched over on the stairs, his mask laying at his feet and shoulders shaking with sobs. He looked up at me and my heart cried when I saw the tortured eyes on his face. This was not the Scythe I knew…this teen was broken and had no strength left…

"Nick's in his room, but he locked the door and pushed something against it. We can't get in." He told me, his voice shaky and echoed of his sadness. Omega walked down, his sightless eyes not able to cry, but sorrow was clearly in his heart as well as on his face. He sat next to Scythe, who pulled him in a hug.

"Shadow's outside Nick's door." He told me, his voice quieter than I've ever heard it and I walked pass them both, patting them a bit on the back and found Shadow leaning against Nick's double door's, his eyes bloodshot and still raining.

"Kevin…I'll let you try…maybe he will listen to you." He walked swiftly away, not wanting me to see his tears.

I walked up to the door and did not test it, but knocked quietly. "Nick…it's me man…Kevin…can you let me in?"

I heard nothing…no sobs or heavy breaths, or anything.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ Lost until found…but no one could find me…not even myself. I finally found the strength to stand and I walked into the bathroom, ignoring Shadow's pleads for me to come out. This was my fault…If I hadn't provoked those guys….if I hadn't agreed to this…Raven would alive…not laying six feet under! I tore off leather jacket and chucked my mask across the room, hearing it hit the window and fall to the ground. But I didn't care, my punishment as well as my savoir was close by. I promised Kevin I would not try to end my life, but I never promised I wouldn't start this again. I grabbed the cold switch blade I hid under the sink and pressed it to my bare forearm, not moving it, but anticipating it release with the bare metal against cold against my skin. _

_I pulled and it smoothly cut into my skin and I winced at the sudden pain and almost cried out form the intense sting. Why didn't it work?!? Why wasn't there a release, why did it all seem worse instead of better?!? _

_Oh god…what was I doing? _

_I threw the knife in the trash and turned on the sink, putting my arm under it; washing away the blood and I pressed a towel to it until it stopped bleeding before I threw the towel away too. I walked out of the bathroom, collapsing on the bed, pulling a pillow to my chest and sobbing into it, muffling all of my pain. It did not go away…no matter how many tears I shed…no matter how many cuts I would have made…no matter what, it would have stayed…it will always stay. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

I waited for thirty minutes before Shadow, Scythe and Omega joined me, all of us sitting outside Nick's door, tears still in all of our eyes, comforting each other and waiting for Nick…if he would ever come out. I had no fear of him dying…he promised me he would never attempt that again. Another twenty minutes passed again before we all heard the click of a lock coming undone, but Nick did not come out and Shadow nodded to me and I pulled my arm out from around Omega and stood, knocking gently on his door. I looked at the three, watching the door and looked back when I heard soft footsteps.

Nick opened the door, his eyes blood shot and his face quiet pale, like he was sick. He did not meet my gaze and he turned around, leaving the door open and sat on the edge of his bed, his forearms lying on his knees. I walked in and closed the door before sitting besides him. Nick seemed restless and stood again, walking away from me, towards the window and as he moved, I caught sight of a new red scar, running along his left forearm.

I stood and ran to him, grabbing his arm and forcing it to my eye level, ignoring the way he stiffened from the sudden contact. I lightly traced the puckered three inch scar and dropped his arm, unable to hold back the disgust and disappointment on my face. I looked to Nick's face and saw him looking at the floor, tears falling, and the same look I had reflected in his hurt gaze.

I held him and led him back to the bed, where we sat and he sobbed quietly, with me holding him tightly. A few times he whispered Raven's name, but I pretended like I didn't hear it and held him closely, lightly rubbing his back and stroking his hair.

"This…this is all…my…fault." Nick spat out through his tears and I stiffened in shock at his words. How was this his fault? "I…I provoked those guys…I…I agr…agreed to go tonight…if I hadn't done…if I hadn't…" He couldn't go on, losing to the shuddering sobs.

"No Nick." I said rather forcefully and he stiffened, like I hit him. "This is not your fault. The fault lies with the scum bag murderers. Not you. Do you hear me? This is NOT your fault!" I said, holding him tighter and I could have sworn to have felt him shake his head in denial. "Nick…trust me." I said gently. "You are not, nor will you ever be, at fault for this."

He gave no indication he heard me, though I knew he did. He clung to me as if his life depended on it and I was not complaining, but I was cursing the name of those idiots that killed Raven, killed the spirits of four boys, one my brother. They never deserved this and yet it happened. That seemed to occur a lot, especially to Nick…

Eventually the other three entered the room and we all hugged on another, letting everything out on each others shoulders. Nick's hand went to Scythe's shoulder and Omega sat behind him, his head on Nick's shoulder and Shadow leaned against my side. Now was the time for mourning and after this, the time for healing.

* * *

**Koutai: **_Yeah…I killed Raven…I am going to hide now…one more chapter left guys! Will Nick forgive Joe? Will Joe forgive himself and not blow it if given the chance? I don't know yet!!!! Until next update!_

**GO TO **

h t t p : / / w w w . l a t e n i g h t w i t h j i m m y f a l l o n . c o m / b l o g s / 2 0 1 0 / 0 1 / w h i c h – t e e n – i d o l – h a s - t h e – m o s t – d e d i c a t e d – s u p e r f a n s /

**AND VOTE FOR JONAS BROTHERS IF U LOVE THEM!!**


	24. Not So Perfect

**Koutai: **_Last chapter…ever…may be an epilogue, depending on how long this turns out to be…I will tell you at the end…*sniff* I hate ending stories I love to write…_

_LONG CHAPTER ALERT!!!!!!_

_I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!_

* * *

_**KEVIN'S POV**_

"**No Nick." I said rather forcefully and he stiffened, like I hit him. "This is not your fault. The fault lies with the scum bag murderers. Not you. Do you hear me? This is NOT your fault!" I said, holding him tighter and I could have sworn to have felt him shake his head in denial. "Nick…trust me." I said gently. "You are not, nor will you ever be, at fault for this." **

**He gave no indication he heard me, though I knew he did. He clung to me as if his life depended on it and I was not complaining, but I was cursing the name of those idiots that killed Raven, killed the spirits of four boys, one my brother. They never deserved this and yet it happened. That seemed to occur a lot, especially to Nick…**

**Eventually the other three entered the room and we all hugged on another, letting everything out on each others shoulders. Nick's hand went to Scythe's shoulder and Omega sat behind him, his head on Nick's shoulder and Shadow leaned against my side. Now was the time for mourning and after this, the time for healing. **

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ Alone. Lost inside myself, knowing I am to blame. Though Kevin denies it, I know this is my fault. Not entirely mine because it was not I that pulled the trigger, but I was still to blame for causing this to happen, for not realizing my mistakes sooner, for doing what was right and Raven's life was the cost…this was all my fault. _

_Omega shifted and picked his head from off my shoulder and Scythe moved so I let my newly scarred arm fall back to my side, hiding the mark I hated myself for making. I was no worse than Joe, marking my body like an oil canvas and being responsible for a death…for that I was worse than Joe…that guy was right. I was going to hell. And I deserved it for what I've done. _

_The bed creaked as the three got up and left the room, saying something about school tomorrow and they left Kevin and me alone again. Time seemed to blur in the sorrow of my heart and I finally lost all of my reason to be happy. Raven was gone…Macy would never have me because I sealed Raven's fate. I would forever be hated by everyone, including my own brothers, and I did not just mean Joe, Kevin and Frankie. _

_Hot tears still ran down my cheeks, cascading like a waterfall from my eyes and my shoulders suffered earthquakes, my breathing uneven and shallow, but I was silent. I listened to Kevin's quiet breaths, felt his shakes and slightly faster than normal heartbeat, and felt his tears rain onto my arm and head. He rubbed my arm and held me close, and to that, I was thankful, but nothing could help me right now. Raven was dead and I was still running free and blameless. How could Kevin even look at me right now? His brother, the murderer…_

"Nick…?" _Kevin asked, almost silently and I averted my gaze, even though he couldn't see it anyway. I pulled away from him and walked over to the window, pushing down more tears and ignoring his questioning gaze. _

"Go home Kevin." _I told him in a rather cold and demanding voice. I saw the way he stiffened in the mirrors slight reflection as he stood up. _

"No." _He said, not moving towards me but defiance on his face. _

"Go. Mom and dad will worry and it's a school day tomorrow. Go home!" _I hated myself for pushing him out and away, but why would he want to spend another minute with a murderer? I did not want to force my sorrow filled company onto him and I did not want to waste his time and life, as I knew I was doing. I was a fail at life. I failed with everything I did; Raven was dead, Joe hated me, Kevin's life was being wasted, Macy would hate me…was anything ever going to go right for me?_

_Kevin did not answer, and I lowered my rapidly blurring gaze from his reflection and waited for something, anything to happen. For ten seconds, nothing did and I wish Kevin would just walk away and leave me to my solitude or at least say something…but my wish never came true. Another ten seconds passed. I closed my eyes, attempting to hold back the waterfall, but water can't be stopped forever and they fell again, burning my already tingling cheeks. I knew Kevin saw my tears, I felt his gaze gouging a hole in the back of my head. _

_Five seconds more were added to the prolonged silence. Would anything happen, or was I just going even more insane? Kevin took one step to me, I heard the floor creak softly and he stopped, and I remained a motionless, soundless, crying wreck. Ten more seconds and he whispered my name but I was not sure if that was just my imagination. How much more could I take? Was he planning to drag this out until I lost it all and shattered into a million dust particles? Did he even realize how much this hurt me?_

"Please go Kevin." _I begged, so softly even Omega would have to lean closer to hear it. _

"No." _he whispered and took the remaining steps and wrapped his arms around me again, putting his head on my shoulder. _"Not right now. Not ever again." _He informed me, squeezing me gently and opened my eyes, blinking passed the tears and relaxed in his hold, trying to grab a hold of what sanity I had left before I cried it all out. _

"Why? Why would you want to be in the company of a…a…" _I started, unable to not say this, even though I did not want too. _

"A what?" _He asked curious but worried at the same time. _

_I opened my mouth to whisper the word for the first time. It was so much easier to think than to say. _"A murderer."

_Kevin stiffened and I waited for the harsh rejection and words I was so used to receiving, but nothing came. He spun me around so he was looking directly into my wet gaze and his eyes held such ferocity and love that it hurt my heart to look at and yet I could not look away. _

"No." _He said, his voice breaking from a storm of emotions I could not identify. _"Don't you ever think that! This was not you fault! Get it through your head Nick. You are not to blame and you never were. Nothing is going to change, no one is going to hurt you or hate you because of Raven's death. This is not your fault!!!"

_I looked into Kevin's eyes, wanting to believe him that all my heart that his words were true…but my mind just couldn't accept those words, may they be truth or lie, I just would not believe them…I couldn't. _

"Nick…" _He said, more gently. _"Trust me, you are not at fault."

_I looked down and nodded, hiding the contradiction I knew was in my eyes. I enjoyed his company for a few more moments before pulling away again and grabbing my PJ's and heading to the bathroom and I heard Kevin pull out his phone and text who I assumed to be Joe. _

* * *

_KEVIN'S POV_

I pulled out my phone and texted rapidly while Nick changed.

**Joe, I am staying with Nick tonight. Something terrible happened and I can't leave him right now. Can you please tell mom and dad?**

Joe's reply was almost immediate.

**What happened? Is Nick hurt? Is he ok? I will tell them but tell me what the heck happened!?!?!?**

I almost laughed at the frantic tone I imagined he took on and I was happy Joe cared enough to ask. In the past he would he ridiculed me for staying with Nick and now he truly cared and I knew he would be right by Nick's side…you know, if Nick had forgiven him.

**No, Nick is not ok. Raven was shot and killed. He blames himself for it all. **

Joe took a minute to reply, probably from shock.

**Oh my gosh…Raven is…dead? Poor Nick, Shadow, Scythe, and Omega…How…who? They didn't deserve this…why does this always happen to Nick?**

I took a second to glance at the still closed bathroom door, having wondered the same thing multiple times before.

**The two guys that escaped police custody where the two Nick beat up last night. This was their revenge. I have to go, Nick is changing right now and I don't want t be texting when he gets out. **

Joe replied quickly.

**I understand…Should I tell Stella and Macy? **

I thought about it.

"He can if he wants too." Nick's quiet voice fro behind me and I turned in fright, almost dropping my phone, to face him and I accidently over spun and grabbed his shoulder roughly for balance, instantly letting go, just in case he thought I was attacking him again. But instead of looking fearful, he looked amused of my sudden topple, but I still saw the way he tensed whenever someone touched him. I nodded to him.

**Nick says you can tell them if you want too. Night Joe.**

**Night Kevin…night Nick. **

Nick read the message and grabbed my phone and I watched him text quickly.

**It's Nick. Night.**

He gave the phone back to me after sending it and did not look my way, and I bite back my questions and I tired not to exclaim out at the fact that Nick was trying to gain courage by texting Joe. He threw some old PJ's at me and told me that they had an extra school uniform that would fit me for tomorrow and I went off into the bathroom to change.

When I got out of the bathroom, maybe five minutes later, I found the lights off, and the moon gave me just enough light to see Nick, curled up in bed, his chest rising and falling evenly, suggesting he was asleep.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ I was the first on up in the morning, as always and got ready for school without waking anyone. I starred out the back window, pass the old barn and to the little green area that was blocked from my gaze by trees. Making up my mind with a heavy heart, I walked outside, stopping only at the barn to pick some of her favorite flowers, and walked on until I was facing her tombstone, holding back more tears. I placed the flowers gently on the fresh earth and I knelt, putting my hand on tip of her grave stone, just reading it over and over again, unable to believe she was forever gone. _

_I traced her name, Yana, and then under it her given name, Raven, wishing for some sign that she was happy, in a better place. A single bird flew from the trees and landed on Raven's headstone, right next to my hand. I looked into its startling eyes and soft black wings and for first time in a long time, I recognized the beauty in ravens. This one cocked its head at me as I made slow movements, to not scare or provoke it. I turned away from it and looked to the ground. _

"I'm sorry Raven…this is my entire fault…I was an idiot…" _I whispered to the earth and a sharp sting was felt in my hand and I jerked it away, examining the puncture mark from the stupid bird's beak. A droplet of blood eased out and the bird let out one mourning cry and I glared at it. It closed its beak and…was it glaring back? A bird can't glare Lucas, pull it together. I pulled a tissue from my pocket and pressed it to the wound and ignored the bird again, figuring if me jerking my hand away from it did not scare it off, nothing would. _

"Yana…Raven…Noah…Tom….Lisa…." _I whispered, reading the other graves. _"Well, at least you are with your family Raven; you can finally see your little brother again." _I quietly told the silent earth, hoping that somehow Raven was watching and listening, though I knew she wasn't; I was only speaking to myself, the bird the only ears I had. _

"Forgive me Raven…where ever you are." _I asked my voice so low that it was lost in the slight morning breeze and I set my hand on top of the tombstone again, not caring if the bird turned lethal again. I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind, remembering the first time I ever saw Raven, sitting high in the tree, and me being so scared. _"Raven…' _I whispered, letting all of my longing and sorrow into one simple name. I felt the light brush of feathers against my hand and I looked up to see the raven stretching its wings and in a second, it was in the air, being carried along by the wind. _

_I watched it go and stood up, hand still atop the stone, when a hesitant hand came on my shoulder and I turned to see Kevin, looking not at me, but at Raven's final resting place. _

"Shadow told me what happened. She was a true friend until the very end." _He said and I nodded, thinking quickly. _"What happened to your hand?" _He asked, looking down at it. _

_He grabbed it and inspected it while I answered. _"A bird pecked it." _I told him, and he looked at me and I smirked at the oddness of my truth and he smiled a little too. _

_I thought to the incident last night as Kevin and I both looked down at Raven's grave, and I thought about how those two swore revenge on me. I realized one night would not let their anger abate; this would have happened no matter what I did. And if I hadn't beaten them, they would have killed innocent people, no matter if I moved or not. So, in a way, by killing Raven, I saved a few lives as well. But…I guess I did not really kill Raven, it was all the guy behind the trigger…so maybe…_

"You're right Kevin. It's not my fault."

* * *

JOE'S POV

Weekends are never long enough, but whatever, the dance is tonight and Stella will be all mine! I think an evil laugh is appropriate there…but that makes me sound perverted, which I am not…on purpose. Anyway, I walked into the school doors, Stella instantly vanishing by my side and Macy by hers. Each looked like they had been crying all night and they probably had been; Stella for her two friends and Macy for Nick. Speaking of Nick, why was he smiling and in school today? He should be a wreck…and why were Kevin, Omega, Shadow and Scythe laughing so hard? Were they on drugs? That might explain Nick's text last night…Nah, they aren't those kinds of kids…I hope.

Macy ran over to Nick and he looked over and hugged her, his face fading from happiness to tired sorrow. Macy pulled back and he told her something and she smiled and nodded and he smirked a bit and Macy walked away and I heard Omega tell Nick;

"Nick and Macy sitting in a tree…"

But he didn't finish because Nick lightly punched him in the shoulder, smiling slightly at Omega's words. Macy joined us again, a little bounce in her step.

"So Mace, what did Nick say?" Stella asked, begging for gossip.

Macy smiled. "Nothing that concerns you Estella Malone." With that, she waltzed off to her first hour and I saw the way Nick watched her jump lightly up the stairs and turn like a ballerina before continuing her ascent. Scythe nudged him and Kevin laughed and Nick just rolled his eyes and retorted something unheard, causing a silence and then a fit of laughter, and the Nick was the only person that wasn't smiling.

Stella followed my gaze to Nick and laced her fingers with mine in a comforting gesture and Nick raised his gaze and looked directly into Stella's and then into mine. He turned away before I could do anything about it or see his emotions. The bell rang and we ran to our classes.

………..

After last hour I saw Nick and Macy sitting in the atrium, Nick's hand on top of Macy's and they both looked serious and I wondered what they could be possibly saying.

"Nick is just telling her about last night and how he is going to be a bit late for the dance tonight." Kevin said, coming up behind me. I looked at him and nodded, turning back just in time to see Nick and Macy hug and I could have sworn to see Nick kiss Macy on the cheek. They both went out separate doors, Nick on the other side, meeting with Shadow, Omega and Scythe and they walked away together, leaving me with Kevin and a glowing Macy.

………

It was time for the dance now and Stella, Kevin and Macy were all inside, and I was walking outside, needing to arrange my thoughts in a way I could focus only on Stella tonight and not Nick.

"Joe!"

I looked up to see my 'friend,' Mike walking up to me and his posy of three behind him. Fear rose in my chest as I looked around and saw no one close enough to help. They were going to get their revenge on me…I just knew it.

"So Joe, since you turned on us, we are gonna turn on you. Beat up you a little, steal Ms. Malone, the works. By the time I am done with the both of you, Stella will not be a virgin and you will sing even more like a girl." Mike sneered, his guys surrounding me, my back still against the wall. I saw four figures walking, too far away, at the school entrance and one stopped, and bending down to tie a shoe.

Mike laughed softly and curled his fist, forcing it hard into my stomach, leaving me cold and out of breath. I felt like Nick must have felt, powerless and hurt and betrayed. The other three closed in and they all got one hit in, one in the leg, stomach, arm and…area.

But suddenly, the guy in the back collapsed as well as the one next to him. Mike and his buddy turned and I saw Nick standing there quite alone, murder in his brown orbs, not unlike the time he took his revenge. Mike laughed at the sight of Nick.

"Oh, looks like the little punching bag wants to punch back. John, teach him his place." Mike ordered and John stepped forward, his fist coming within an inch of Nick's face before Nick ducked, grabbed his arm and flipped him over his shoulder in one fluid movement. Nick turned to Mike, a fire of anger raging in his eyes and Mike looked uneasy as he stepped towards Nick.

Nick moved first, feinting to the right and kicking Mike's left side and Mike retaliated by hitting Nick hard in the shoulder, by the neck. Nick spun away and when he lifted his eyes, his pupils were dilated, his breathing hard and he looked quite insane and Mike was too busy gloating to notice. Nick ran forward and punched him square in the jaw and kicked in one, two, three times in the stomach before taking one step back and grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back. Nick then forced Mike into the wall, his lips inches from his ear and I barely heard him whisper.

"No one touches my brother."

Nick slammed Mike's head into the wall and he fell, unconscious to the ground, just as his three buddies stood up and advanced on Nick. But this time, he would not fight alone. I caught Nick's eye and nodded to him as I cracked my knuckles and he nodded back, his eyes still too coated in anger for me to discern anything else like fear or forgiveness. The three charged, two at Nick and one at me.

I punched the guy in the gut before he got to me and twisted his arm around him, like Nick had down and kneed him in the legs, making him collapse before I kicked him in the head. I looked to Nick, who already knocked down one and was on the back of the other, pulling his hair and causing him to punch himself by moving away from his fist. After three seconds Nick jumped from the guys back as he used his own legs to knock him off balance and the guy fell, knocked out when he hit the ground.

I looked to Nick, who barley was panting, his eyes calming into his normal impassive serious look as he gazed at the four still forms. He raised his eyes to look at me and he slowly nodded before turning around and walking away, not saying a word. His gaze…it lacked the fear from before…maybe it was just the confidence of the fight or maybe it was because I fought with him, but there was no fear when he looked at me! Maybe I could enjoy this dance after all.

* * *

_NICK'S POV_

_ Joe fought with me…and I fought for him. Was this just a one time peace agreement or something else? I am not going to lie to myself, but something felt…I don't know, right about fighting with Joe by my side. When I saw him surrounded, I told my friends to go on, saying I had to tie my shoe, when in reality I was watching to see what would happen to Joe. And it scared me and pained me to see him get hurt…Was this normal for brothers? _

_No time for more thoughts right now Nick…time for the spotlight with Kevin. Time for my plan. It was simple really. All it was, was a test for Joe, to see if he really has changed and will stay that way. I would go on stage, sing a few original Nick Lucas songs, with Kevin, and if Joe…well, I'll just have to wait and see. Only in my mind, Raven was up on stage with me, supporting me every second of the way…without her, something did not seem right. _

"You ready Nick?" _Kevin asked his guitar over his shoulder. _

"I can't do this…not without Raven." _I told him, needing my best friend by my side and pained by knowing that will never again happen. _

_Kevin sighed and placed his free hand on my shoulder. _"Then do this for her. She would want you to do this."

_I took a deep breath and nodded, putting my guitar on and walking in stage, Kevin, Shadow, Omega, and Scythe behind me, only Kevin and I sanding in the light. I can do this. The DJ announced my name and the crowd of dancers turned to me and I managed a small smile. _

"This song is one I wrote about two months ago and until now, no one has ever heard it being played. I hope you like it."

"I want someone to love me  
for who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
But it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am

_I looked over and I saw Joe watching me in wonder while everyone bounced to my song and Kevin walked over to me, smiling and I returned the expression._

Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore  
Nothing is right, nothing is right when you're gone  
I'm loosing my breath, I'm loosing my right to be wrong  
I'm frightened to death, I'm frightened that I won't be strong

I want someone to love me  
For who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
but it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am

Hey!

I'm shaking it off; I'm shaking off all of the pain.  
Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again

I want someone to love me  
for who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
But it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am

_During my guitar solo I turned my back and the three in the shadow's came forward, Shadow putting on my mask for me and when I turned around to sing, we revealed ourselves as the Fallen, in Stella's designed outfits and in our masks. The crowd was silent in shock, but I just kept singing, knowing how this would turn out. _

I want someone to love me  
For who I am  
I want someone to need me  
Is that so bad?  
I wanna break all the madness  
But it's all I have  
I want someone to love me  
For who I am

Yeah, who I am

_I nodded to Kevin and we started playing another song I wrote about four days ago. _

Yeah!  
Tonight I walked into the bedroom  
You were visibly upset  
Telling me I made a bad move  
But I didn't do nothing  
You start screaming, wake the neighbors  
Now everybody's out for blood  
I didn't want no confrontation  
Because of you that's what I've got  
Well you got to chill out  
Cause baby I don't want to fight with you  
And every battle we've fought  
Just made us look like fools

_At this point, Omega came out from behind me and started singing in Joe's voice, causing everyone to gasp in either shock or fear. I hope it was shock. _

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And then I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III  
World War III  
Tell 'em Nick!

Now your rounding up your army  
Turning all your troops on me  
Telling lies just to feel happy  
But I wont retaliate  
No

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And then I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III

Well you got to chill out  
Cause baby I don't want to fight with you  
And battle we've fought just made us look like fools

No you can't have World War III  
If there's only one side fighting  
And you know  
Whoa oh  
That there's lessons left to learn  
Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And then I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III  
Not gonna be World War III

_At this part, Shadow and Scythe had a pretend fight going on and were doing flips and exaggerating everything. _

Every time you attack  
It doesn't drive me to fight you back  
And I know  
Whoa oh  
That I'll never let it be World War III

World War III  
World War III

_I stopped playing and looked around the crowd, smiling at a me and a beaming Macy and finding a confused Stella and I was surprised to see so many smiles and the lack of Joe. But it didn't matter; I had one more song, with again, Omega singing Joe's part._

You've warned me that you were gonna leave  
I never thought that you would really go  
I was blind but baby now I see  
Broke your heart but now I know

That I was being such a fool  
And I didn't deserve you

I don't wanna fall asleep  
'Cause I don't know if I'll get up  
And I don't wanna cause a scene  
But I'm dying without your love

Begging to hear your voice  
Tell me you love me too  
'Cause I'd rather just be alone  
If I know that I can't have you

_At this point, Omega stopped singing and Joe ran on stage, mike in hand as he sang, looking directly at me and I knew he was trying to tell me how sorry he was through the song I chose. Just like I planned. _

Looking at the letter that you left  
(The letter that you left, will I ever get you back?)  
Wondering if I'll ever get you back  
(Ooh ah, ooh ah, ooh ah, ooh ah)

Dreaming about when I'll see you next  
(When will I see you next? Will I ever get you back?)  
Knowing that I never will forget  
(I won't forget, I won't forget)

That I was being such a fool  
And I still don't deserve you

I don't wanna fall asleep  
'Cause I don't know if I'll get up  
And I don't wanna cause a scene  
'Cause I'm dying without your love, yeah

Begging to hear your voice  
Tell me you love me too  
'Cause I'd rather just be alone  
If I know that I can't have you

_At this point, I turned my back to him, trying to hold back new tears of old sorrow, uncertainty and happiness and I sang my heart out, knowing Joe would get the message. _

So tell me what we're fighting for  
'Cause we know that the truth means so much more  
'Cause you would if you could, don't lie

'Cause I'll give everything that I've got left  
To show you I mean what I have said  
I know I was such a fool but I can't live without you

_I sat down on the stage steps and Joe sat next to me, not touching me, but looking at me throughout the entire time. _

I don't wanna fall asleep  
Don't know if I'll get up  
I don't wanna cause a scene  
But I'm dying without your love

I'm begging to hear your voice  
Tell me you love me too  
'Cause I'd rather just be alone  
If I know that I can't have you, yeah

Don't wanna fall asleep  
(Don't wanna fall asleep)  
'Cause I don't know if I'll get up  
(Who knows if I'll get up)  
I don't wanna cause a scene  
'Cause I'm dying without your love, yeah

I'm begging to hear your voice  
(Let me hear your voice)  
Tell me you love me too  
(Tell me you love me too)  
'Cause I'd rather just be alone  
If I know that I can't have you

_Joe looked at Kevin and nodded once and Kevin smiled, starting a new song I hadn't prepared fro and by the look on Joe's face, I knew he wanted me to sing along, but I hoped I remembered the lyrics. _

Broken hearts and last goodbyes  
Restless nights by lullabies helps make this pain go away  
I realize I let you down, told you that I'd be around  
Building up the strength just to say

I'm sorry for breaking all the promises  
That I wasn't around to keep  
You told me this time is the last time  
That I will ever beg you to stay  
But you're already on your way

Filled with sorrow, filled with pain  
Knowing that I am to blame for leaving your heart out in the rain  
And I know you're going to walk away  
Leave me with the price to pay, before you go I wanted to say

That I'm sorry for breaking all the promises  
That I wasn't around to keep  
You told me this time is the last time  
I will ever beg you to stay  
But you're already on your way

_A split second change to the lyrics and Joe would know exactly how I felt. I looked over to the Fallen, knowing I would not be able to stay with them anymore. _

I can't make it alive on my own  
But if you have to go then please **Joe** just leave me alone  
'Cause I don't wanna see you and me going our separate ways  
Begging you to stay if it isn't too late

I'm sorry for breaking all the promises  
That I wasn't around to keep  
It's all of me, this time is the last time  
I will ever beg you to stay  
But you're already on your way  
But you're already on your way

_Joe hesitantly put his hand on my shoulder and lifted off my mask, revealing my tears and it took all my willpower not to flinch at his soft touch. He seemed surprised by my tears but then I saw his own and I smiled, pulling him into a very late and much needed hug. _

……_One month later in an interview_

"As brothers, we rarely fight, but Nick and I go into a huge one recently and it tore us apart. But like the brother's we are, we pulled through it and our bond is stronger than ever before. I love you Nick." _Joe said, during an interview, looking at me with soft and caring eyes. _

_I smiled at him, feeling no anger, hate or sorrow, only safety, love, and joy. _"I love you Joe."

* * *

**Koutai: ITS OVER!!!!!! **DID U THINK I WOULD LEAVE THEM FIGHTING?!?! And yes, Nick did dance with Macy and they are together. See you in later stories!!!

Now it is time to focus on Nightmare, Breathing Underwater and Death Has No Hold. Hope to see your reviews!!!


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